Photocopy mo mukha mo

Dear insansapinas,

In one of the offices I worked with upon my  "disembarkation" from my boat from the Philippines", there was a xerox machine (they called it photocopy, not xerox) which was so big that you can sit on it and copy your butt or press your face on the glass, wait for the bulb to flash, smile and congratulations, you just photocopied  your face.Wala pang photoshop noon.


So when Filipino employees got to meet in the water cooler and they had one officemate who was the "menu" for the day (iniinsulto, tsinitsimis at pinagtatawanan)they simply rolled their eyes and said. Utang na loob, pakiphotocopy mo ang mukha.


In another office where a copier hardly rested for the day, the management acquired a very sophisticated copying machine. It was also huge and one feature was that it can produce an exact replica of the original. Even the dollar bills. So much that only the Vice President had an access to this feature. 


It was hardly a year that we were using it (all departments can use it if their copier did not work), I found a counterfeit check made out from the machine (hmmmm). The duplicate looked authentic except that I had a bunch of the returned checks from the bank and I got also a brain that worked like a photocopier. ahem pero ang gripo nakakalimutan kong isara, mweh hehehe).  The name of  payee was changed; the amount was increased but not much in order not to invite a red flag. Well,  the signature was electronic.  What the culprit did not know was that we have two sets of checks--one was provided by the software company and the other was the set for emergency needs that required only one or two checks. Normally we cut more than a hundred checks for one given time. 


I remembered that there was already a number for that particular check. Indeed there was.
 I reported it to my immediate boss but she did not report it to the management. Wala sa kaniyang credit eh. Then, it was repeated until an investigation was conducted.



REWIND. When I was still the assistant dean, I implemented a policy that only those with an average of 2.00 can major accounting. A parent went to the Dean asking why his son did not qualify among those who will major accounting. First, he promised favor if I was going to consider his son. The next time he came, he threatened me that I was discriminating his son. The Dean advised me to reconsider. I offered resignation. Then he showed me a photocopy of the classcard of his son which showed a grade of 1.75. I summoned the professor to check her records. It was 2.75. Pinhotocopy niya ang card pagkatapos pinalitan niya ang grade, tapos phinotocopy niya ulit. Nawala raw kasi ang kaniyang card. 
Ngayon may xeroxed copy na iba sa original. Bah. 


Pinaysaamerika