Thursday, March 31, 2011

Baby Talks

Dear insansapinas,
This video was uploaded by the mother of the twin boys. She just loves to share to the public about her children's antics. No child abuse. No CHR Probe please. hehehe

I got twin brothers who are older than I am so I can't really share with you how they communicated with each other when they were young. When they got older, they talked but you can not hear their voices. They are like totally absorbed to what they're discussing. 

My own tsikiting gubat had a language of his own when he was a toddler. I did not baby talk him.
He called the ants (langgam). blam blam. short for langgam and blag, the sound of a folded newspaper or magazine used by his yaya to kill the ants.

Let's make out what these twin boys are talking about.

Here is my suggested conversation.

Twin 1. I told you there is a monster in the washing machine of mom.
Twin 2. I do not believe you.
Twin 1. Look, I can't find the other sock for my right foot.
Twin 2. Oh grown-ups. They must have used your sock as coffee filter.
Twin 1. Ha ha ha . Still I believe that there is a monster in the washing machine.
Twin 2. But why does it grab only one of the pair?
Twin 1. Don't know. Maybe he has children like you who wears different socks.
Twin 2. Ha ha ha, Come on. That's a lot of nonsense.
Twin 1. Why don't we take a look?
Twin 2. I rather not. Besides, mom is watching us.
Twin 1. Don't mind mom. She does not understand what we are talking about.
Twin 2. Hohohohohoho


Chicken Sitting, No Kidding

Dear insansapinas,

Having pets at home is a problem especially if you are a single, hard working guy or gal who may not have enough time for the care, grooming and feeding of the animals but needs the company of an animal when you get home. As if working in an office with gorillas, crocs and snakes are not enough. So a job was born out of necessity-dog walking, cat feeding-brushing the animals
 teeth and now TADA TADA.  Chicken sitting. No S#it. Dog walking in most cities and towns across the country, became in demand that it is not difficult to find someone who will, for a certain price, walk your dog, brush your cat, feed your fish, and pet your rabbit while you're away at work or on vacation.

For chicken sitting, starting at $20 a day, a pet sitter will do these menu of services: clean coops, put out food and water, and collect eggs.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Interview Questions

Dear insansapinas,
For the 2011 graduates, life begins when they apply for a job, report for interview and hope they're hired.
When I was in Pilipinas Kay Ganda Koh, there were not so manyy interviews except in the early part of my careers-CPA practitioner, corporate slave and an academician. Most of the jobs I got were from referrals. 

In the US where you do not take an exam except for government positions, I've done a lot of interviews, mostly panel because someone in the organization should know if I really have the skills for the position I am being interviewed. How would a Human Resource Manager know if the the questions asked reflect my knowledge about " cooking " the books. har har har.
I had one experience when a young recruitment officer of the company shelved my resume before it was forwarded to the requisitioning officer just because she felt insecure for her friend in the department. (She was Asian but not a Filipino. She did not realize I that the Controller had already made his choice since I was the one who was the most qualified among the applicants. All he needed waas to ask me some questions that pertained to accounting and finance. No other questions. Lately, however, the interviewers were asking  questions bordering from weird to creative and or from unethical to illegal questions.

I've gathered some of them and thought of answers I would come up with if I were applying.

Here are some of them and my response: What would your response be?
1. • If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?
Darna. What? You do not know Darna? rolleyes.

2.  • If every time you entered a room your theme song played, what would it be and why?
Mission Impossible. Dan dan dan dan dan. Because I feel like a sleuth whenever I look for errors in the books.
3. • On a scale of 1-10, how weird are you? Why did you choose that number?
Eleven. I hate odd numbers. They're boring. Ahhh  What? You said I am weird, If one chooses from1- 10, he's not weird. 

3.• What was your best MacGyver moment?
Frankly, I do not remember any MacGyver episode anymore. In our country, we watched soap opera until  cry.
4• If you saw someone steal a quarter, would you report it? If not, what dollar amount would you report?
Why would they steal a quarter or a dollar? The politicians rob the people blind by millions and they even lie
 The creative unusual questions: 
1. "I was once asked what I would bring if the department had a potluck." 
-- I would bring the paper cups and the fork and spoons. 
2. "If you were a sea creature, what would you be and why?" 
--  A crab.
3. "What color is your brain?"
-- Green.
4. "How many airplanes are in the skies over the US right now?" 
Regardless of the size?
5. "How would you open the locked and sealed window in this hotel room?" 
I will call the management.
The bewildering questions
1. "I was asked if I knew how to make explosives, [right] after 9/11, in an interview for an administrative assistant position." 
Can I call a lifeline? Oy pare ano ba ang phone number ng EFBE AY? May nagtatanong kaseh sa akin kung paanong humawa ng bombah.
2. "What kind of car do you drive?" 
A bus.
3. "Will you file my fingernails?" (For a position at a church.) 
Oh yes, I even put them in the filing cabinet.
4. "I interviewed for a [job] waiting tables and the manager wanted to know how I would eat an ice cream cone." 
 There are many ways. Want me to illustrate?
5. "If you had been on the Titanic would you have been in a row boat, on the ship, or freezing in the water?
In the chair watching the movie.

 6.  If you were a Spice Girl, what would you call yourself? 

7. How would you feel about doing small personal errands like dog-sitting or buying gifts for my 'lady friends?'" (All from the same interview.) 

Keep the change?
Illegal, unethical questions or potentially both
1."So, are you married or whatever?"
Let me ask him.
2."Kids -- you don't have one of those, do you?" 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Even Silence is a Means of Communication

Dear insansapinas,

When the execution of the three Filipino drug mules were deferred, the Chinese government declared that it was out of respect for the Filipino official. Siyempre, tangos ilong na ang Filipino at kulang na lang ang buong 24 banda na pasalubong siya sa sinabi niyang successful na punta niya sa Tsina. SUBALI'T kung talagang pag-aaralan ng kultura ng ibang bansa para mas maunawaan ang mensaheng gustong ipaabot, ito ay parang inabutan mo ang isang maybahay na nagwawalis at pansamantala niyang ihihinto para respeto naman sa dumating na bisita pero hindi ibig sabihin hindi itutuloy ang pagwawalis.

Kung ikaw ay nasa kalagayan din ng Tsina, anong gagawin mo kung patawarin mo ang tatlo at humingi rin ng patawad ang ilang libong nakakulong. Kung ikaw ang pamahalaan ng Pilipinas Kay Ganda Koh, kailangan bang ubusin ang oras, pera para ma-isave din ang mga taong ganito ang kaso na nakukulong sa ibang bansa?

Iba-ibang kultura, iba-ibang paraan ng komunikasyon.

Isang kakilala ko ang kasal sa isang taga Middle East. Tuwing mag-aaway sila at maghihiwalay ay umiiyak ang lalaki. Sabi tuloy ng isa kong kaibigan, ang swerte ng babae, iniiyakan siya, samantalang daw siya ang boypren niya hindi man lang umiyak ng nagbreak sila.

Muntik kong batukan. Sabi ko sa kaniya ang mga lalaki galing sa bansang yaon ay sanay na ipakita ang kanilang emosyon, gaya ng pag-iyak at  ang galit dahil sa kanila ang taas ng boses ay sincerity at strength samantalang ang tahimik ay isang sign of weakness. Sa ating mga Filipino, ang mga lalaki ay hindi nagpapakita na nasasaktan sila sa pamamagitan ng pag-iyak. Mababawasan ang kanilang pagkamacho.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Insensitive People

Dear insansapinas,

No I will not be talking about the Willing Willie Episode. For me, those are nothing but ratings issues, intrigues and showbiz. Child abuse is raised depending whose child is involved. If the child belongs to a popular personality, it is cute being in the limelight, talking about things which should be confined to the privacy of the family. The bloggers kept their silence.  That's the same way I feel for the network program that invited Marlene Aguilar  to a talk show to admit that she failed to teach her children the Ilocano dialect; that her children were properly raised and that YES, she took up Acting and she admitted that it was useful in her public emotional outburst. What are we going to get something from that interview?
What shall we get from remake of remake of teleserye where lead characters are made to wear sexy costumes? RATINGS ano fa.

 The first time I watched, AFV (American Funny Videos), I can not understand why people laugh on children being hurt, people almost getting killed and parents being proud of what silly things, their children did at a young age. I like watching the Japanese reality show where contestants hurt themselves trying to win a competition. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with humanity?

I am talking about the sister of a friend. She was so insensitive to her mother that she does not care whether she has money to shoulder the plane tickets going to the Philippines. All she wants is to go home.

The telephone rang. I opened my left eye. Saw that the phone was ringing. The ringer was in low volume; it was the light inside in the screen window which allowed me to see the number calling.
I opened my right eye. "Hilew." Nakakainis, makakainis, nakakainis.

Anong nakakainis? tanong ko. It was my friend in another State. Her sister who finished nursing and came
a year ago after her mother's petition was approved is planning to go home to the Philippines for a vacation and to marry her live-in partner so she can petition him as spouse.

So what's the problem? She didn't have money because she was not looking for a job. She merely stayed at home watching her favorite programs in the TFC. Her 9 year-old daughter is having a problem understanding English because no one talks to her in English.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Fake Soldier Scam

 Dear insansapinas,

Nagsnow dito sa amin kahit summer na. Weird. May masakit sa akin, di ko alam kung saan. Weird. Tumunog ang telepono, ginising ako. Waah.
Ito muna ang balita: 

Facebook users need to watch out for a shameful scam that appears to be becoming more widespread, military officials warn. Con artists have been using the photos and details of real soldiers to strike up romances with women on the social networking site, the AP reports. The phony soldiers declare their undying love—then ask for cash, saying they need special cell phones or special papers to come home on leave. One woman lost $25,000 to the scam.
May tatlo akong kaibigan, ang tawag ko tatlong Maria. Mga dalaga at uhaw sa pag-ibig kaya gullible sa lahat ng magsabi sa kanilang mahal sila kesehodang di pa nila nakita.

Yong isang Maria ang tumawag sa akin. Itong Mariang ito ang sinave ko sa isang Filipino na scammer din. 
Kesyo mayaman daw si mama at may pinatatayong business para sa kaniya. Ang istupido, ibinigay ang address. Akala yata walang tangang pupunta. Ang tangang yon ay ako dahil kinukumbinsi ko ang Maria na niloloko siya sa pagpapagamit niya ng kaniyang credit card.

O wala kaming nakitang pinatatayong bahay sa (saan bang impyerno yon) kung hindi isang lumang gasolinahan na nang tinanong namin ang mga tao doon ay sinagot kami ng EH?  No hablo Ingles. SUS.

So nawala ang aswang na yon pagkatapos siyang iistalk. Sumunod naman ay construction magnate daw, Nagrerenovate ng mga lumang bahay tapos pinagbibili. Hindi ako sumama sa tinitirhan ng lalaki pero sabi niya tubig lang ang laman ng frigidaire. Walang retrato. Walang mga damit masyado, in short rental pati TV.
Minsan tinawagan niya sa sa isang telepono. Bahay pala yon sa isang ibayo. May asawa ang walanghiya at palipasan lang siya ng oras pag siya ay nasa California. Kung baga taksil. 

Sumunod isa raw CEO ng isang finance company. Nagkakilala sila sa online dating. Naka beemer ang lalaki. Engineer si Maria. Matalino. Nagdate sila. Pinag-uusapan daw nila Finance. Sabi ko OWS.
Sabi ko e-mail niya yong corporate papers noong business. Sabi ko esplain niya saiyo ang CDs. Hindi yong pinagtutugtog.

Inemail naman. SUS Ginoo, siya na ang CEO, siya pa ang Treasurer, siya ang Vice-President  at baka pati janitor siya rin. Matagal ng patay ang kumpaniya. Tigok na. Sa orinaryong tao na titingin noon di mapapansin Sa akin na kahit malabo ang mata, alam ko ang hahanapin. Susmaria. Malalaman ko pa kung anong klaseng corporation yon. May 70 dollars ka lang pwede ka ng magpregister ng corporate papers. De kahon lang dito ang form lalo pag wala namang empleyado at operation.Naghahanap ng mabibiktima para mag-invest sa patay na corporation?

Sandali punta tayo sa fake soldier. Eto na naman kami. 
Naawa daw siya dahil nakaassign sa Afghanistan. First e-mail pa lang niya, lahat ng kamag-anak na namatay, binaggit. Amoy scam talaga. Mga sumunod na sulat ay prone siya sa accident. Hindi raw siya napapagamot. Ano military, sundalo hindi gagamutin? 

Malungkot daw iya dahil malayo siya sa ibang bansa, malayo sa anak niya na mahal na mahal niya at inaalagaan ng kaniyang dating -in-laws. (Ang asawa ay maaring namatay sa panganganak o sa matinding sakit). Tapos kumopya ng mga tula kug saan ewan dahil ang English naman niya ay salibako).

Ito na. Kung pwede mag-open ng account para sa communications nila kasi bawal sa military (hah?).

Sabi ko sa aking kaibigan. ipupusta ko ang aking isang Linggong almusal, scam yan. Soul mates kayo? Bwahahaha. Ni hindi nga niya alam kung yon nga ang retrato niya. 

Nambibiktima rin sila sa Asian countries kung saan ang mga babae ay gustong maging citizen. 

Itinatanong ninyo siguro bakit sila nagtatanong sa akin, hindi naman ako search engine. Mas matanda ako sa kanila at marami ng karanasan sa buhay.


The Event Planner (Not)

Dear insansapinas,

My male friend who is now in the Philippines is going to get married. (Naisulat ko na ito diva?) Para akong yong isang Soap Opera Queen na nang mapahiya dahil pinaalis sa business class, nagkaamnesya at nagtanong, Kilala mo ba ako? (Bakit nakalimutan ba niya kung sino siya?) Isa pa yong pulitiko na ang mga magulang ay pulitiko rin. Pareho rin ang tanong kung kilala kung sino siya nang siya ay sinita sa business class ng eruplano. Kaya ayaw ko ng maging celebrity o politician. Nagkakaroon ng dementia. Makakalimutin.

Anyway, bago tayo magkalimutan ang topic ko ay tungkol sa kasal. Kasal ng aking kaibigan. May pahintulot ako sa kaniya, isulat ang tungkol sa love -life niya.

Nag-Im siya sa akin. Moustache? Anong mustache? Yon pala musta eh? Ginagamit niya kasi ang kaniyang cell phone pagtype ng texts. 
Sabi ko in 30 minutes, iinom ako ng aking gamot at bigla na lang akong makakatulog. ZZZZZ.

Kinumusta ko ang kaniyang wedding preparation. Sabi sa akin, nakakapagod pala ang mental fatigue.
Syempre ah. hahaha

"Wala kayong utang na loob, kung hindi dahil sa akin di kayo magkakatuluyan." Di po dialogue yan sa teleserye. Yan ay diyalog noong asawa ng barkada niya na nagpakilala ng kaniyang fiancee sa kaniya.

(Suklay buhok). Bakit naman niya sinabi yan? Kasi raw gustong ipasok pa ang sarili sa bridal entourage. Best man na ang kaniyang asawa, ring bearer pa ang anak. Eh di naman sila malapit na kamag-anak. Marami pang nakapilang kamag-anak na gustong sumali.

Pinagpasensiyahan na nga raw niya nang ipilit yong venue ng kasal. Sabi ko bakit siya pumayag, eh ang kaibigan ko ang magbabayad. Kasi raw sinisiraan sila sa mga kamag-anak. yada yada yada.

Eh susunod niyan, magpapatulong makarating yan sa States o hihingin ang mga regalong hindi madadala sa US (sabi ko perahin na lang), total ang kaniyang asawa naman ang nagpakilala sa kaniya. AS IF big deal yon. Kahit na ipakilala sa kaniya, kung hindi naman desperadong mag-asawa itong kaibigan ko, hindi rin sila magkakatuluyan. 

Noong sinabi niyang wala siyang balak umuwi ng US, laking problema, inaway siya ng kaniyang fiancee.
Sabi ko eh hindi pala ikaw ang gusto niyan, yon palang citizenship mo. Ang Bad ko. 

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dr. Zhivago, Gone With the Wind and Cleopatra

Dear insansapinas,
Liz Taylor in Cleopatra

No Virginia, these were not movies of Elizabeth Taylor except for Cleopatra. I have watched these movies several times. One common denominator of the three movies was that they were more than three hours viewing.
Pag nag-order ka ng pizza, naubos mo na ang malaking size,naubos mo na ang isang galong root beer at isang box ng pop corn, hindi pa rin tapos. Pwede pang nakipag daldalan ka pa sa kaibigan sa telepono.

So yesterday, I chanced upon Dr. Zhivago again in the American Movie Classic Channel. . Hindi ko kasi naintindihan kung sino talaga ang mahal ni Dr. Zhivago; yong asawa niya si Tonya ( Geraldine Chaplin na anak ni Charlie Chaplin) o si Lara (Julie Christie) na sa pelikula ay asawa ng isang rebolosyonaryo. Isa pang kasama sa plot ay ang giyera na meron din sa Cleopatra at Gone with the Wind.

Ang movie theme song ng Dr. Zhivago ay Somewhere My Love.
Yon bang Somewhere my love hmhhm hmmmm.

Sa Gone with the Wind, nandoon din ang love ni Scarlett para ka Ashley ang asawa ni Melanie. Nandooon din ang American evolution na sumira sa mga aria-arian ng pamila ni Scarlett.

Sa Cleopatra, iniwanan ni Marc Anthony ang kaniyang asawa para sumama kay Cleopatra hanggang kamatayan. . Di bale na ang kaso ni Caesar, ginawa lang ni Cleopatra yon para may kakampi siya laban sa kaniyang kapatid.

Maolokah ka pag tiningnan mo ang mga centuries kung kailan sila nang yari. Yong kay Cleopatra ay noong 48 BC; ang Dr. Zhivago na isinulat ni Boris Pasternak ay nangyari noong Bolshevik Revolution (1917) at ang Gone with the Wind ay noong American Revolution (1861-1865).

Ding G. Gagelonia, RIP

Dear insansapinas,

I was going over the hospital statement for my procedure last January (I can already buy an SUV; ang hirap magstay ng buhay. groan.) while browsing the internet this early morning when I came across a blog that was dedicated to Ding G. Gagelonia. Ding G. Gagelonia who? He was a journalist, a father and a blogger. His blog was At Midfield where his last entry was March 20, 2011. He passed away but the cause of death was not mentioned.

Do I know him personally? No. But we were together in the Filipino Voices a blog founded by Nick (Tingog). The blog was deleted after the election last year. Among the writers, Ding was one of those who did not resort to ad hominems when I became ballistic. He was respectful to a few ladies in the forum, the most was only two  among several male writers. We are both in the US. Another lady joined when I left the forum (pabalik-balik lang naman ako) .

Sa akin nga trabaho lang yan. Nakikipagwrestling ako sa debate pero hanggang doon lang yon. At syempre minsan nababanggit ko sa aking blog lalo pag umuusok ang aking ilong. I have no political affiliation and I did not support any candidate because I wanted to be objective. Kaya magkaiba man kami  ng pananaw ni Ding Gagelonia, wala kaming away dahil I respected opinions and so was the choice of candidate he supported.  

To Ding Gagelonia, may you rest in peace and to the family, condolence.


Friday, March 25, 2011

City Code Compliance and Automatic US Citizenship

 The US authorities became stricter in catching, indicting and convicting the smugglers. Except for the ober-the-bakod in Mexican and US borders, I am not aware of another way by the illegal aliens could  get permanent residence and finally US citizenship as well.

If you notice that many Filipino celebrities, single or married but pregnant go to the United States to deliver in the
US hospital this is to avail the birthright citizenship (jus soli for their babies. The babies are US citizens. 

City Code Compliance
Hindi kagaya diyan sa Pilipinas Kay Ganda Koh na pwede kang magpaextend, magrenovate ng bahay kahit walang permit sa City, dito hindi pwede. At hindi mo rin pwedeng itago dahil ang mga debris o mga basura sa pagrerenovate ay hindi pwedeng itapon sa iyong basurahan. May limit ang garbage na kinokolekta. Not unless kakainin mo yong basura. Ehek.
Sa pagrerenovate na ito nabuking ang sindikato na nagchacharge sa mga Insik ng 35,000 dollars para lang maging tourist at makapanganak sa "maternity clinic".

Ito ang excerpt ng balita:
Authorities have closed three upscale townhouses operating as a maternity center for Chinese mothers paying thousands of dollars to give birth in the United States so the children would automatically gain citizenship.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

News that will wake you up even with your cheap coffee

Dear insansapinas,
I know many people can not browse the on-line newspapers early morning or early evening when they come home. Early morning, because they're in a hurry to get to their offices. Ang mga anak nagbabaging pa sa kanilang mga balikat. Early evening, because, they have to prepare dinner. So as part of being a superheroine, I will publish news reports that will give you belly laugh, send your brows to your hairline and news that will make you reach your weapon of destruction--the !@#$% mouth.

Sa Tagalog, may asim pa si lolah. 

MARCH 22--After being denied a kiss yesterday by a neighbor 39 years her junior, a 92-year-old Florida woman allegedly returned to her home, retrieved a .380 semi-automatic handgun, and fired several shots into the man’s residence.
Hindi ko alam kahit pala 92 na may crush pa. Sabi nga ng kanta, kahit maputi na ang buhok ko (kasi nakalimutang magcolor).
She was denied a kiss
Ang mga lola naman natin noon, mahihinhin. Libangan, hingutuhan.

Anybody Home?

Did not know that there were two planes which were able to land at the Reagan Intl. Airport without the assistance of a controller because there was no one in the tower. Siguro nanood ng Tangled. bwahaha . Para bang Hello, DC, we are landing. Anybody home?
The situation began at 12:10 a.m. Wednesday when an American Airlines plane attempted to call the tower to get clearance to land and got no answer, Knudson said. The plane had been in contact with a regional air traffic control facility, and a controller at that facility advised the pilot that he, too had been unable to contact anyone at the tower, according to a recording of air control traffic at the website
Stone's throw lang ang layo namin sa airport. Yong stone kasing laki ng nasa StonehengeUna yong mag-asawang party gate crashers. Ngayon eruplano. Susunod kaya UFO? Baka paggising ko, nagkakagulo sa airport at ang ininterview ang isang ExtraT na gustong magblackberry HOME. hehehe

Mrs. Ligot not detained for humanitarian reason

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Impeachment Coverage, Ghost employees,Seminar in Boracay at Jason Ivler

Dear insansapinas,

Nagising ako kaninang umaga na frantic. Nawawala ang aking bag pagkatapos i-treat ko sa mamahaling restaurant ang aking family. Panaginip lang pala. Natulog ako ulit baka makita ko yong bag. Ahek.
Ikalawang tulog ko, bumalik ang panaginip. Nakita raw ng kuya ko. Nang tiningnan ko hindi yon. Puti ang bag ko. Kaya pag natulog kayo ngayong gabi baka makita ninyo ang bag ko, pakisoli lang. ehek.

Impeachment Coverage

Gusto ng palasyo i-televise ang impeachment proceedings. Naku, saan kayang istasyon yon ipapasok. Noong kasing last impeachment, nilagay sa TFC. Naku bigla akong nagpakabit. Pero puyat naman ako kaya kinabukasan kailangang tukuran ko ang aking ulo para hindi ako bumagsak sa aking keyboard.

Para makatagal din akong hindi antukin (sabagay aantukin ka ba naman noon na ang daming mga drama actors at actresses), naggantsilyo ako ng blazer. Hindi pa tapos ang impeachment, nagamit ko na. Mahihiya ang table runner pag nakatabi ko. Pwede ring gawing cover ng throw pillows. At yon ang time na lumaki ang expenses ko sa snacks at medyo, bumigat yong aking weighing scale. WALANG MAGTATANONG. 
Lagot ang mga teleserye, tatalunin sila sa rating.

Isa sa rules of impeachment dapat ang balak ang magpapogi. Walang sulyapan sa camera at walang taguan ng suklay sa bulsa. 
And while our officials are giving us entertainment, who's minding the " unpreparedness of the Philippines" to an earthquake that is even lower in magnitude than the recent that hit Japan? 
Boracay out of town-seminar

Kailangan bang sa Boracay pa ang seminar ng mga local barangay government officials na nakatalaga sa Metro Manila? Ano ang akala nila sa sarili nila Tara na Turista? Wala naman siguro silang maging balak na seminarista. Ehek.

Ghost employees sa City hall

Kaya nga ba ang mga artista nagkakandarapang tumakbo ng councilor sa mga siyudad. Ang budget pala ay 800,000 pesoses weekly. Sa isang councilor meron daw 120 na employees. Ano ang ginagawa ng mga multong yon? Ganoon ba karami ang trabaho ng councilors? Dinaig pa nila ang mga Senador? At meron din pala silang pork barrel. Talagang ang baboy na yan, kakalat-kalat.

Ivler mom, suntukan tayo

Samantala sa California, inaresto ang mother na tinuruan ang anak para lumaban.
Police say they have arrested the woman, identifying her as Jennifer Zuniga, 33, of the central California city of Ceres.
She faces child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor charges, police said.
"Jennifer can be heard and seen in the video yelling and encouraging her son to batter the other juvenile. Jennifer is heard yelling a barrage of profanities and enticing the fight," Ceres Police said in a statement.
sa Pilipinas Kay Ganda Koh, hinamon naman ni Marlene Aguilar (nanay ni Jason Ivler at kapatid ni Freddie Aguilar) ang judge ng suntukan. 

Wednesday’s hearing of the murder case against road-rage suspect Jason Ivler turned into a circus when his mother, known to be prone to theatrics, challenged the judge to a fistfight.“Mano-mano na lang tayo, isang round lang (Let’s fight, just one round), judge,” Marlene Aguilar told Judge Bayani Vargas of the Quezon City Regional Trial Court, Branch 219, in a loud voice.


Remembering Elizabeth Taylor, Husbands and Children

Dear insansapinas,
One of the most beautiful women in the world, she felt in love, suffered from heart breaks, survived brain tumor, skin cancer, drug dependency, husbands (except Ex-Senator John Warner and Larry Fortensky)  and SCANDALS. She died peacefully with her children by her bedside.
Actress Elizabeth Taylor and her children (L-R) Michael Wilding Jr., Christopher Wilding, Maria Burton and Liza Todd Burton pose as they arrive for her 75th birthday party at the Ritz-Carlton in Lake Las Vegas, in  Henderson, Nevada February 27, 2007. [credit: Reuters]
She had married and divorced (except Mike Todd who died in an airplane crash)  eight husbands. twice to the same man. She denied the rumor that she married Winters, the last man in her life.

Conrad Hilton Jr. and Liz Taylor

1. Conrad "Nicky" Hilton. Jr. (May 6, 1950 – January 29, 1951) (divorced)
 . He was the son of the founder of the Hilton Hotels, Conrad Hilton, the former husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor and the great grandfather of Paris Hilton. He died at age 42. 

michael wilding

 2.                     Michael Wilding (February 21, 1952 – January 26, 1957) (divorced). He was a British  actor with  whom she had two children--  Michael Howard Wilding (born January 6, 1953) and    Christopher Edward Wilding (born February 27, 1955)
Mike Todd and Liz Taylor

3.                  Michael Todd (February 2, 1957 – March 22, 1958) (widowed). He was an American movie and theatre producer who produced Around the World in 80 Days. He died in a plane crash. He had one daughter  with Elizabeth Taylor,-

   Elizabeth Frances "Liza" Todd (born August 6, 1957)
Liz Taylor and Eddier Fisher

4.          Eddie Fisher (May 12, 1959 – March 6, 1964) (divorced). Eddie Fisher, was an American singer, a friend of Mike Todd and Elizabeth Taylor and was married to Debbie Reynolds. Carrie Fisher, Princess Leia of Star Wars Trilogy was one of his two daughters with Debbie Reynolds whom he divorced to marry Elizabeth Taylor. Because of this scandal, his TV show was axed and his contract with a recording company was dropped.
Debbie Reynolds stated that she understood why she was being dumped for the most beautiful woman in the movie industry. Later, they were together in a comedy where they made fun of Eddie Fisher. Eddie Fisher died last year. 
Richard Burton as Marc Anthony

5.                     Richard Burton (March 15, 1964 – June 26, 1974) (divorced). He was a Welsh actor who played the role of Marc Anthony in Cleopatra. His relationship with Elizabeth Taylor was the most turbulent but made them more popular box-office hit wise, He gifted her with big diamonds, furs and plenty of jewelries (Taylor's weakness). They adopted a baby, Maria Burton -  Maria Burton (born August 1, 1961; adopted 1964)

Elizabeth Taylor, 79

Dear insansapinas,
Elizabeth Taylor died at age 79, today March 23, 2011, one year and seven months after her best friend Michael Jackson's sudden death in June 2009.

elizabeth taylor as cleopatra
Elizabeth Taylor, the legendary actress famed for her beauty, her jet-set lifestyle, her charitable endeavors and her many marriages, has died, her publicist told CNN Wednesday. She was 79.
Taylor died "peacefully today in Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles," said a statement from her publicist. She was hospitalized six weeks ago with congestive heart failure, "a condition with which she had struggled for many years. Though she had recently suffered a number of complications, her condition had stabilized and it was hoped that she would be able to return home. Sadly, this was not to be."


Day Care Business

Dear insansapinas,

Day care business is a good business especially the type which is federally funded. Oo, Virginia.
Kung walang mag-aalaga sa anak mo and you are working or trying to get out of the welfare program of the government by stretching your muscles and let the fingers/hands do some dirty work, the government is going to give you voucher to pay the daycare owner. Parang board and care din, gobyerno ang bumabayad para sa pag-aalaga ng mga matatanda. Ang kulang pinupunuan ng pamilya. Kaya walang lugi ang negosyo. Tipirin mo pa ang pagkain ng mga bata at mga matatanda, lalo ng tubong nilugaw ka.

Itong balita at tungkol sa isang may-ari ng day care. Twenty two years old lang at may mga pito na siyang batang inaalagaan. Kailangan may ratio ang nanny sa mga bata. Nakatanggap na siya ng mahigit 10,000 dollars galing sa gobyerno at lumabas siya para mamili sa Target. Iniwanan ang mga bata na walang kasamang adult at may niluluto pa sa kitchen. Akala niya pagnawala siya ng wala pang thirty minutes, walang mangyayari.

Nagkasunog ngayon na pumatay sa apat na  bata at nag-injure sa iba  pa. Nagsinungaling pa na nandoon siya sa bahay nang magkasunog.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Role Reversal

Dear insansapinas,
Dalawa ang tutumbukin ko sa aking topic; pulitika at ang aking sarili. Isa kasi sa personality disorder ko ang narcissism. Kung lalaki ako siguro ang pangalan ko Narciso. Ayaw ko naman ng pangalan ay Narcisa. Alam naman siguro ninyo ang palayaw. SISA-nasaan kayo Basilio, Crispin.  I love myself. muwah muwah muwah. mwhehwhwwh.

1. Impeachment of have Merci (I am a victim of politics) on me. Siyempre pag nasa gobyerno ka may pulitika. kahit na nga sa private corporations, may office politics din.
Ito hindi lang role reversal na ang prosecutor ngayon ang pinoprosecute kung hindi wheel of fortune pa.
Minsan na sa ibabaw ka at minsan naman nasa ilalim. Kawawa ka pag nawalan ng gas ang gulong kasabay pagkawala ng gasolina. Flat tire ka na, may kabag ka pa.

Ang hindi ko lang gusto sa pangyayari ay alam naman ng tao na ang ginamit para inimpeach ay ang BABOY. OO Virginia, talagang pinataba nila ang baboy para siguradong makuha ang boto.  Tapos inilagay nila sa barrel. Sus.

This little pig went to Congress to vote yes.
This little pig is no longer Harrison Ford. He needs to be in the Senate.
This little pig did not go to Congress but he tweeted, No and wrote, I will esplain.

2. Quiapo
My tsikiting gubat e-mailed me. He said he went to Quiapo to pray for me. When he was newborn, I had to bring him back to the hospital because he suffered from infection. Those nurses from the nursery did not bother to sterilize the feeding bottle. Several babies who were delivered  on that week were put in the ICU. My tsikiting gubat who was only two days old and whose blood vessels were thin as a piece of hair had to endure the butterfly needle that went with the IV to give him sustenance. The second day of our stay in the hospital, one baby died. I panicked and cried. I went to Quiapo and made haggle with the Boss--to make my baby well.

Now it is the reverse, he's haggling with the Boss to heal me. 

His hospitalization gave me the phobia for hospitals. That explains why I never went to hospital after that so much so that my older tsikiting gubat thought that I did not care for him when I refused to visit him in the hospital when he had an appendectomy. Couple that with parental alienation from some relatives, it did look that I did not care. It was only here in the States when I overcame my hospital phobia. It was even a hospital. It was a convalescent hospital. A convalescent is where old people stay while an acute care is where emergency cases and other outpatient or inpatient services are done regardless of the age.

I was doing a business plan and I had to see the inside of a convalescent. There was this old woman who won't get off her bed to go to the bathroom. The nurse can not just force her. She was so fragile and I thought she was suffering from dementia. I offered to assist the nurse. I did not mind if the old woman was wet with pee. She was talking to me. I could afford to wait on her. The nurses can not. They had schedules to follow to see to it that the residents were all washed, fed and taken to their respective places in that convalescent before the director/adminstrator made an ocular inspection to assure th place is running like a timepiece.

The first acute care hospital where I was brought to emergency did not look like and smell like it was a hospital. It looks more like of a five-star hotel. Masyado lang sigurong class ang aking taste pagdating sa ospital. (batok sa sarili).

I hoped when my tsikiting gubat's prayer is not answered, he should not think that the Boss did not listen to him.

With this, let me publish a story forwarded by bayi.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The pharmacy and the book store

Dear insansapinas,

Talagang matigas ang ulo ko. Tok tok tok (tinoktok ulit para masiguro). Sabi nga ng doctor, huwag munang magpapagod o mag-eexert ng effort. Pero kailangang lumabas. Wala sa pharmacy ko ng aking painkiller na restricted and prescription (pero nabasa ko sa NY pala 1 out of 10 gumagamit ng gamot na yon. Bagong pharmacy at kailangang i-present ko ang aking ID at ang aking mukha para sigurado silang hindi ko binebenta sa black market ang pildoras. Sus.  Maghihintay daw ako. O hige. twenty five minutes daw. O hige. Wala pang isang minuto, nangangatog na ang tuhod ko. Hanap ako ng upuan. Masama ang aking pakiramdam. Sabi ko huwag muna. Hindi pa ako nakakapagsulat ng Huling Paalam. bwahahaha.
Mabait naman yong mga nakapila. Pinauna na ako. Kaya nong makuha ko ang gamot, naglakad ako ng pauwi. Marahan. Baka bumagsak ako eh. 

Kaya lang may dadaanan akong book store. Nakadisplay yong bagong libro ni Patterson na Toys. Kamahal. 
Kung ang aking boss noon ay hindi pwedeng hindi pumasok sa Macy's na dadaanan namin, ako naman parang simbahan ang bookstore na hindi makakaraan kung hindi mag-aantanda. Biglang Kurus. 

Full Moon

Dear insansapinas,
Late ang blog tungkol sa full moon pero kasi noong Saturday, dala-dala ko ang camera at hinahanap ko ang full moon,di ko makita. Naupo ako sa couch, naghintay, nakatulog pala ako. 

Anyway, hindi ito ang retrato ng pinakamalaking full moon pero at least makikita ninyo kung ano nag mukha ng buwan. May mukha ba yon?

Maraming implications ang bilog ang buwan. Sa akin na may lahing humahati-ang-katawan-pag-bilog ang buwan, dapat nong Sabado, itinali ko ang aking sarili sa bed (pero dahil nga antukin ako) di na kailangan, tapos dapat nagsuot ako ng retainer para di umusli ang aking pangil, pag-alas-dose . mwihihihi  Oo Virginia, sa aming probins sa Bicol, pinagkakatakutan ang bilog ang buwan. Yan kasi ang paniniwala na naglalabasan ang mga aswang, manananggal at mga aliens na mahilig gawing smorgasboard ang katawan at dugo ng mortal.
Pero lately, wala na yata akong nababalitaang mga manananggal at aswang. Siguro namamasyal palagi sa mall. O kaya yong mga namatay ay hindi nailipat ang bato sa kanilang mga anak dahil mga OFW ang mga ito. Wala sa bansa.Sa akin yong ibinigay na bato hindi ako sigurado kung bato nga. Butones yata yon. bwahahaha. 

Pero ang paniniwalang may epekto ang full moon sa sanity ng tao ay pinaniniwalaan pa rin kahit dito sa Amerika. Sa isang convalescent hospital kung saan may inaassign kaming nurses, abala sila pag bilog ang buwan. 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Banking 101 and Bank Holiday

Dear insansapinas, 

Juicekonaman, napunta lang ako ng ospital pagdating ko nagbank holiday na ang Banco Filipino. Hindi holiday na cinecelerate kung hindi ang pinag kakatakutan ng mga depositors--ang magsara ng pinto dahil walang pera. At ang dahilan ngayon ay inutang na lahat ng mga directors, stockholders, officials...kulang na lang pati ang housekeeping nila siguro. Kaasar. 

Ang Banco Filipino ay isang thrift bank. Hindi kagaya ng universal banks na siyang namamahala sa mga transactions ng mga businessmen kagaya ng letters of credit, foreign exchange at marami pa. Ang thrift bank ay tumatanggap lang ng savings. So ang idineposito ng Client A na 1,000, 90 per cent lang niyan ang pwedeng ipahiram. Ang 10 per cent ay reserve para protektahan ang mga depositors. Ang 900 ay pupunta sa economiya ng bansa (ganiyan nakakatulong ang mg OFW. ang savings nila ang ginagamit sa pagpapautang sa mga nangangailangan ng pera). Ang 900 na iyon ay idedeposito naman sa isa pang bangko kung saan ang 810 ay pwedeng ipahiram na may interest. Ang interest ang kinikita ng banko na siyang binabayad naman sa may mga savings deposit. Gugulong ang perang ito katulad din ng paggulong ng reserve requirement ng banko. May penalty kapag wala ang perang reserve na ito at the end of the day.
Paano nawawalaan ng ipapautang ang bangko? Isa pag walang mga nagdedeposito. Ikalawa pag mismong ng directors ng bangko ang nangungutang pera ng walang bayaran. Hindi na kumita ang pera, naubos pa ang reserba. Isa pa may capital requirement and bangko. Hindi ka makakapagtayo ng banko kung ang capitalization mo ay di na meet ang subscribed and paid-up capitalization. Nasaan lahat yan?
 Salbahe. Ginawang palabigasan ang mga taong nagdedeposito. 

Ang mga mahihirap naghuhuldap. Itong mga white collar, nanghuhuldap din. Nakakaloko pa? Tseh.

The Monetary Board, the Bangko Sentral’s policy-making body, had earlier placed the bank under PDIC’s receivership as a result of its financial difficulties.
Central bank Deputy Governor Nestor Espenilla Jr. said those difficulties came about after the bank approved billions of pesos in loans to directors, officers, stockholders and related interests.
Of its total loan portfolio of P4.1 billion, more than half of that was DOSRI loans,” Espenilla said.

Showbiz Lingo and National Association of Bloggers?

Dear insansapinas,
1. Sabi ng isang balikbayan na artista, namimiss daw niya ang showbiz kaya raw siya umuwi. -Translation-
Wala siyang makuhang trabaho sa US kung saan tumakbo siya noong palubog na rin ang popularity niya.

2. Sinusuportahan daw niya ang mga artista ngayon kasi parang pay-it-forward-sinuportahan din siya noong nagsisimula siya. Translation: Wala na siyang makuhang lead role kaya supporting role, pinagtitiyagaan niya.

3. Natatawa daw siya sa tsismis na bading siya- Translation-hindi totoong nagpakasal ako sa matanda para magkapapel. (Merong retrato,oy)

4. Kung sa Pilipinas Kay Ganda Koh ang earthquake at tsunami, makikita mo na naman ang mga celebrities na naumumudmod ng isang plastic na may lamang delata at nakaphotoop habang nreretrato sila ng kanilang publicity agent. PAti ang kanilang foundation na itinayo lamang dahil for tax purposes ay kanilang binanabanggit sa kanilang gimik.

 National Association of Bloggers?
Bakit? Pakialam nila sa binablog ko? Pumapapel na naman ang mga high profile bloggers na akala mo ba utang na loob sa kanila ang pagsamasmahin ang mga bloggers.  Pustahan, pag ang may hindi na elect diyan , may panibagong association naman ang susulpot. Parang bago kayo ng bago sa mga Pinoy na mahilig maggrandstanding. Tapos gagawa sila ng libro at ipagbibili sa mga newbie na bloggers. Kagaya noong una yong bloggers award kuno na pinamimigay ang mga awards dahil mga magkakaibigan sila at ang mga promo ay sa kanila mapunta. Tapos yong ibang blogger na walang objective lang kung hindi magsulat ng gustong isulat ang pakikialaman pa nila. Gusto kasi lahat magkaroon ng clout. Kung may gusto silang . Code of Ethics, gawin nila yon lalo sa mga bloggers na tumatanggap ng freebies kapalit ng write-up ng mga negosyong nagpapromote. Tseh.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Mons Romulo Tantoco's true friend

Dear insansapinas,

MY friend had been calling me over the phone. I can't call him back. I am so sleepy that I can't even finish dialing his number without dozing off. Besides, I can't afford to laugh. My abdomen still hurts.

He and his wife have been my friends in the Philippines. When they migrated to the US, he looked for me in the four corners of USA. He is one guy who missed his calling in the Police Academy 4. When we were in College, he would throw himself all over the desk so no one can copy his answers in the tests. Talking about true friends. Yes most of the people I consider as friends are those from my native country. Dito you can not develop friendship because of the barriers--territory and work. Sa Pilipinas, Kay Gandah Koh, the girls can talk about how dumb they are falling in love with the worst men they ever met, kulang na lang sabihing, walang ilong, duling, etc. overnight and repeat the mistake after a few days of cursing the world. They mistook their gas to heartache and held their chests like they were actresses in the Broadway san bottled-bleached hair.

I have only a few faithful friends. There is one who's perfect to discuss show business. We share the same favorite and hated celebrities.

There was one who was good in politics. But when she changed color this year, my calls went straight to her voice mail; No response. I believe that politics is not good for friendship.

There are two or three who offered their shoulders to cry on. But it turns out, it is the other way around. So when you see me walking with one shoulder higher than the other, don't be surrpised.

By this time, you should know why Mons Romulo Tantoco is working on her annullment paper--because of the alleged involvement of her close friend Cita Revilla to her husband, Sander Tantoco

She does not criticize her friend directly but she collected the definitions of a true friend. Subtle hint? Parang si Kris? Dinadaan sa anak?
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.  — Author Unknown