Monday, January 31, 2011

Gross Domestic Product of the Philippines in 2010

 Dear insansapinas,

Tuwang-tuwa silang inaannounce na lumaki ang Gross Domestic Product (ang GDP ay parang ruler na pansukat sa ekonomiya ng bansa. Ito ay kabuuan ng lahat ng productong ginawa dito sa Pilipinas,Kay Gandah Ko.

Ito ang excerpt ng balita.

The Philippine economy, as measured by the gross domestic product (GDP), expanded by 7.3 percent in 2010, the highest in 24 years. The growth was achieved on the back of a strong foreign trade performance and election spending. (Aha).
Pero kagaya nang sinabi ko noon, hindi ako nadadala ng average. Parang isda, pinagpuputol-putol ko.
Kaya itong average na ito ay pagpuputol-putolin ko by quarter. UHm UHm Ugm (purol ng aking itak).

Ito ang by quarter: 
Paderanga noted that from a strong start of 7.8 percent in the first quarter, GDP growth sustained its momentum during the next three quarters of 2010 – 8.2 percent in the second quarter, 6.3 percent in the third quarter and 7.1 percent in the fourth quarter.
Mataas ang growth rate na 7.8 per cent ng first quarter dahil nga sa election. Milyong kamiseta ang tinahi sa mga pabrikang natutulog at mga makinang kinakalawang. Nandoon pa ang mga silk screening businesses na naglalagay ng mga IBOTO si ----. Nandiyan ang milyong pamaypay, sumbrero at mga bracelet na pinamimigay. Hello Jamby. Ang mga sample ballots ay nangailangan ng maraming papel. Kaya marami ring pambalot ng tinapa.

Hindi lang yan, maraming pagkain ang mga niluluto para sa mga volunteers, mga supporters, mga leaders at mga ususero't ususera. Lahat pumasok yan sa GDP. Alisin mo ang eleksyon, hindi ganiyan kataas ang growth rate. Kung baga sa bulaklak ARTIFICIAL.

Second quarter, naging 8.2 per cent. Ito ang talagang buhos ang pera sa election. Gasolina, renta ng sasakyan, renta ng mga hotel, renta ng mga barko at eruplano; talagang labas lahat ang pera. Ito rin ang panahon ng enrollment ng mga bata. Kaya maraming uniporme ang tinahi; maraming notebooks ang ginawa, bag, payong ,sapatos, lapis. Lahat pumasok sa GDP. Nandoon pa ring ang election spending. Artificial growth pa rin.

Third quarter ay 6.3 na lang. Wala na ang eleksiyon, tapos na. Bagsak na ang GDP.

Fourth quarter, biglang taas. Naging 7.1 per cent. Hindi ito himala dahil WALANG HIMALA. tsoinkk. Ang growth rate ay dahil sa holiday spending ng mga tao. Takbuhan na naman sila sa Divisoria, sa mall, sa flea market para bumili ng mga panregalo at ng mga  pagkaing ihahanda. Uwian din ang mga OFWs, Balikbayan. Gastos sa pagpapagawa ng bahay, gastos papunta sa mga beaches at gastos sa mga gumaraming kamag-anak. PLOINK.


Dear insansapinas,

I want to watch the latest movie of Matt Damon, Hereafter. He portrayed the character of a reluctant person with gift of communicating with the spirit. Ahem.

These days, my world is upside down. I am awake almost the whole night (thus I can read novels again) and sleepy the whole day.

Last night, I fell asleep while reading, just for 45 minutes. I dreamed of my friend who died of prostate cancer. He was the one I had a pact with that if any one of us dies, the deceased will visit the living one. That was after we watched the movie GHOST starring Whoopee Goldberg, the late Patrick Swayze who died of cancer in 2009 and Demi Moore.

He made good his promise which I blogged under paranormal stories. In my dream last night, he visited me. He was eating and he asked for more. I gave him fish.

This morning, I chanced to click a channel where the movie GHOST was being shown. I fell sleepy while watching. Before I can snooze, I felt the chest pain. Should I call 911? Naah. Kung mamatay, mamatay.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Cita Revilla-Yabut and the Revilla Clan

Dear insansapinas,
Sige na nga, ififeature ko na si Cita Revilla Yabut at ang mga Revilla Sisters. Maraming requests, siguro dahil sa chizmax ni Victor Agustin ng Cocktales tungkol kay Mons Romulo Tantoco at ang kaniyang asawang si Sander Tantoco. 

A DAUGHTER of Foreign Secretary Alberto Romulo is seeking to annul her marriage on the ground of her husband’s alleged “psychological incapacity.”
Monserrat “Mons” Romulo-Tantoco, a columnist for the Philippine Star, has already hired the well-connected Marcos Ochoa Serapio Tan (MOST) law firm for the annulment case against her husband of 21 years, Alexander “Sander” Tantoco, owner of the garbage firm Greenline-Onyx Envirotech Philippines.
The husband, with whom the Romulo daughter has three children, has been seen publicly together with socialite-singer Cita Revilla-Yabut, the former wife of polo player Ricky Yabut.
According to a regular at the Strumm’s, Sander Tantoco has also been hanging out and fetching Cita Yabut after her weekly gigs at the Jupiter Street bar, letting valor trump discretion, after the suffering wife, allegedly on the advice of her MOST counsel, posted “I am now single!” in her Facebook page precisely to throw off the husband’s guard.
Mons RomuloTantoco and husband Sander Tantoco
Source: philstar
For Mons, it was a double betrayal, because the woman involved with her husband was her friend, Cita Revilla-Yabut, who was part of Mons’ prayer group. She had repeatedly told Mons not to be jealous if she was frequently at her husband’s office, since she was asking his help for some project. And when Mons would be told that the two were seen at this and that restaurant, and she would wonder if they were having an affair, she would be assured by mutual friends, “Of course not,” especially since Cita had repeatedly said she’d never go with a married man because she knew what that does to a marriage and a family.

O bakit ko naman pinakikialaman ito. Kasi Virginia, ibig kong ipakita na ang mga gossips ay di lang sa mga ober the bakud ng nga magkakapitbahay, kung hindi sa mga beauty parlors din, gymn, conference rooms, coffee shops  at PRAYER MEETINGS. WHOA.

Cita Revilla-Yabut who?

She is the daughter of the former matinee idol, Armando Goyena (na hanggang ngayon wapo pa rin) at ni Paquita Roces ang unang Camay girl. Meron pa bang Camay soap sa Pilipinas, Kay Gandah ko?

Si Cita Revilla ay naging Camay girl din. Ito ang retrato niya noon.
Cita Revilla-Camay Girl circa 80s.
photocredit: pinoyexchange

Ito na siya ngayon noong nafeature siya sa article ni Mons-Tantoco Romulo.

Cita Revilla-Yabut 

photocredit: Philstar, What is prayer to you?

Who is Ricky Yabut? He is the son of the late mayor of Makati and the sister of Denise Yabut, the estranged wife of Tonyboy Cojuangco of Gretchen Barreto. Ang gulo. Toinkkk. 
Natsismis din kay Gretchen Barreto. Awk.
Para sa retrato, punta kayo rito. 

Other Revilla sisters 
Maritess (center), 
 Ross, Tina, Cecile, Cita and Pita. 
 Not in the picture is Malu  and the only thorn among the roses, Johnny Revilla, the husband of singer Janet Basco.

 Maritess Revilla, another Camay girl and movie actress before she married an Araneta scion, Iking Araneta is the mother of former model, actress and TV anchor Bianca Araneta who is now married to Juan Elizalde of the Elizalde clan. Paolo Araneta, her son is also in the showbiz.

Bianca and mother Maritess

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Nora Aunor, Sajid Khan , Caregivers at Pabaon

Dear insansapinas,

I've been reading about the feelers sent by the camp of Nora Aunor to come home to the Philippines to make a movie or a teleserye(?). No one is biting. No one is offering to give her the travel and housing accommodations. Sayang.
I remember her movies  BONA and Uod at Rosas. No one can beat Nora in acting.

Why am I talking about Nora? Because I believe that she may not be able to come for two reasons:

1. She got a green card which allows her a limited of stay in the Philippines, otherwise, she might lose it.  Prolonged travel outside the United States may jeopardize permanent residence and the ability to naturalize in the future.

Less than six months will not interrupt the  continuous residence. An absence of six months to one year will break continuous residence unless one can give a reasonable explanation for the absence like caring or sick relatives which requires reentry permit.

2. There were rumors  that Nora is working as a caregiver in a convalescent hospital or board and care owned by her former screen partner, SAJID KHAN, a former matinee idol of Bollywood.  They had a movie, A Singing Filipina in the 70s.

Picture of Sajid Khan, noong bata pa.
They met again in Los Angeles.

Picture of Nora Aunor and Sajid Khan minus the ala Justin Beiber mop

photocredit: Inquirer.

The rumors may just be rumor which according to a behavior analyst is not cultural but human. 
But being a caregiver is not a job to be ashamed of; kagaya ng ibang racket ng isang Filipina at ang kaniyang mga crime partners na niloko ang mga kababayang Pinoy sa scam na ponzi scheme sa kasinungalingang tutulungan ang mga kamag-anak nilang nurse o caregiver na mapunta sa USA.
She reportedly sold Filipinos promissory notes, saying the money she collected would be used to bring Filipino nurses and nannies to the US.
Canedo allegedly told her victims that they would get returns as high of 50% in interest rates annually.
Ang caregiving ang pinakamadaling trabahong makikita ng mga immigrants na walang skills na pwedeng gamitin nila sa opisina o negosyo.

Sa Los Angeles, kung saan maraming retiradong mayayaman o mga matatandang artista na ayaw pumunta sa mga convalescent dahil wala pa naman silang sakit, ang caregiving ay pagiging companion lang sa bahay para lang masabing hindi nag-iisa lalo kung wala ng kamag-anak ang kliyente. Ang bayaran nito ay mga isandaang dolyar, isang araw o gabi. Maraming mga caregivers na hindi na dumadaan sa mga registry at sila na lang ang direktang nakikipag-usap sa mga executor. Gusto rin naman ng executors ang mga ito kasi mas mura kaysa kukuha sila sa ahensiya kung saan per hour ang singil sa kanila sa napakalaking halaga. Maliit naman ang binibigay sa caregiver.

Ang mga caregiver ay hindi kailangang kumuha ng lisensya. Ang mga nursing aides or nursing assistants na nagtatrabaho sa convalescent ang kailangan licensed ng State. Ang skills ay napag-aaralan nila in two or six monrhs.

Dahil sa requirement ng nurse-patient ratio, nabawasan ang demand sa mga nursing aides dahil ang mga nurses na ang gumagawa ng kanilang ginagawa dati.

Kung totoong caregiver si Nora, katulad ng dating Miss Philippines noon, isang sikat na singer at iba pang mga Pinoy celebrities, she can not afford na makaipon para sa trip sa Pilipinas. Dolyar nga ang bayad, dolyar din ang gastos. 

Caregiving sa Japan
Maraming natuwa nangkapalit ng ibang tax, tarriff concessions, pumayag ang Japan na maghire ng nurses at caregivers sa Pilipinas sa isang condition, mag-aaral sila ng salitang Hapon. Hoke. 
(pati sa trade deals kasama ang OFWs siya sa bargaining terms, Hanep).

 Ito ang concern ko na sinulat ni Emil Jurado. : 

Another critical concern is the arrangement with Japan to employ, initially, 400 nurses and 600 caregivers from the Philippines. I think this is urgent given Japan’s aging population.
But because of the stringent rules for the employment of nurses and caregivers in Japan, only one nurse—I repeat, one—has so far been able to go through the wringer.
I can understand the regulation for nurses and caregivers to learn Nippongo first so that they can communicate with the elderly patients who cannot speak English.
In the meantime, nurses and caregivers are paid anyway. But my gulay, how can a Filipino survive in Japan with only $400 a month when the average monthly expense in Japan is around $800 a month? It’s worse in Tokyo, where you need $1,000 a month.
In the US, the average pay for nurses is $3,500; Canada $3,250; and in the UK $2,100. Where’s the fairness and equity here?

Friday, January 28, 2011

Big Bad Mass Communications Graduates-They are starting early?

Dear insansapinas,
I am not a bit surprised when a son of Christopher de Leon and Sandy Andolong decided to join showbiz. He is graduating from College of St. Benilde with a degree in Photography. These days, you do not have to be good in photography to get the business that will tide you over for the whole year--being able to win in the bid for the yearbook.

A blogger who enrolled himself in special classes to learn Photography and earn a sideline complained the same issue with regards the yearbook contract of schools. He won in photography contests.

 But when he offered his services to one private school, ang suhulan daw ay kotse at maraming perks.Anong laban mo doon kung nagsisimula ka pa lang.

Then I read this: 
According to Jojo Robles: 
Some students belonging to this year’s graduating class of the University of the Philippines’ College of Mass Communications have hit upon a novel idea to make some money, get free stuff and subsidize their numerous parties. The students in charge of the yearbook (which will be paid for by the college’s graduating class) discovered that some photography and printing suppliers will do almost anything to get their business—and that’s where their entrepreneurial instincts kicked in.
The students in charge of the yearbook decided to “bid out” the production and printing deal to potential suppliers. But it’s only a bidding in the rigged sense of that word, because the students weren’t really looking for the lowest and best bid, as people who bid out contracts are supposed to do.
These MassComm students were more interested in awarding the deal to the supplier who could promise them the best “under the table” deals, who would wine them and dine them and who would take all the “test shots” of their faces that they wanted. In the end, one losing bidder told us, they ended up awarding the contract to someone who reportedly promised them a car, apart from what all the other bidders gave them—free booze, food and endless studio pictures of themselves in various poses.

Big Bad Blogger, Bad PR Firm and other BBs in the Blogosphere

 Dear insansapinas,
Kevlar -check
Umbrella- check
Helmet - check

Sinisigurado ko lang na protected ako. 

Big Bad Bloggers

Sabi ko okay ang magpromote ng product or services sa blog as long as mayroong disclosure or disclaimer policy. I LIED when I read  the LIES in some disclosures made by Big Bad Bloggers (take note with S).
The disclosures stated that they do not receive freebies  but some bloggers I know sworn in secrecy that these bloggers are receiving  big fat envelopes and that the going price is upped now from 5,000 to 8,000 for  a good review. But one blog  claimed that together with other bloggers, they pioneered  in  food blogging in the Philippine blogosphere (WHEN HIS BLOG DOES NOT EVEN CONTAIN ONE RECIPE, what  made them gourmets, I wonder) years after  Sassy Lawyer was already attracting million readers for her food recipes since 2003. ARGHHH sinungaling siya. 

How did I know. Because dahleengs, I conducted a research about bloggers in 2005 which I published in 2006.
The title was Profiles of the Technorati's PhilippinesTop 100 blogs where I was number one in the Humor category and number 12 in the all categories. AHEM. Yes, Virginia, while some bloggers blog for food, I BLOG TO BRAG. mwehehehe. And these bloggers were not even in the radar yet.

The research was a follow-up of the survey I made about the Profile of Pinoy Bloggers in 2004 and published in early part of 2005,    Journey to Diaryland Part 1, Journey to Diaryland Part 2, Journey to Diaryland Part 3.

This study showed that blogging did not start when the high profile bloggers (feeling nila) started their blogs.

When I learned about the practices of some bloggers buying hits or exchanging links for traffic purposes, I backed off from the traffic race. Then came another practice by the so-called elite bloggers. They would not link you when your page rank is below 4. Mine was five then but I never joined this elitism introduced by the newbies.Remember, I blog because I want to brag. I can draw traffic with my content kahit paloko lang. 

Then the bloggers started  making monies though they deny that they're paid hacks, Ano sila charitable institution para gumastos ng kanilang pera para umattend ng mga events at bisitahin din ang iba.t ibang restos at travel spots ?
When they left their dayjobs or they do not have 9 to 5 jobs to speak of,  to become professional blogger, they want us to believe that they are rich enough to support this lifestyle of eating, dining and traveling without monetary compensation. Paano nila binubuhay ang kanilang family na kulang na lang pati pusa magblog. Haah.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Mahirap ang buhay?

Dear insansapinas,

Excuse mo lang kung umigkas ang kilay ko sa pahayag na ito:

"Dapat may insurance itong mga biktimang ito at ito ay isang aksidente na dapat mayroong managot. Kung wala naman talaga at nakikita natin na mahihirap itong mga taong ito, hindi na natin sila pagbabayarin dito sa ospital,” sambit ni Mayor Binay.
Puweda ba pakisapok lang ako ng frying pan. May doubt pa ba kung mahirap o hindi ang mga taong ito. Siguro kong hindi sila mahirap, hindi sila magtitiis sa maliit na sweldong mahigit lang 200 daan isang araw para itaya nila ang buhay paakyat-akyat sa mga matatayog na itinitayong building. 

Panoorin ninyo ang video kung saan nag-away ang contractor at isang manggagawa kung sino ang sasagot sa hospitalization ng mga biktima.

Criminal Minds and Cheryl Burke

Dear insansapinas,

For those who are not familiar of this TV series, Criminal Minds is an American police procedural drama that premiered September 22, 2005 on CBS. The series follows a team of profilers from the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) based out of Quantico, Virginia. The BAU is part of the FBI  National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime.Criminal Minds differs from many procedural dramas by focusing on the criminal rather than the crime itself. 

source: wikipedia
(disclaimer: this is not a sponsored post by the producer. Nabinyagan na po ako at nakumpilan, at di na kailangan ang sponsor, mwehehe).

I watched the episode last night which was about a young couple who spent their honeymoon on a killing spree after they met in a rehab for alcoholics. The team found out that the man grew up in different foster homes because his parents physically abused him when they were under influence of drugs. The woman was a victim of sexual abuse by her own father. 

Cheryl Burke

The Dancing with the Stars fans know who Cheryl Burke is. She is a Fil-am, two-time champion of the reality show.

Many did not know that she was a victim of abuse when she was young girl.  

Here is the story: 

As any fan of Dancing with the Stars knows, Cheryl Burke exudes confidence when she's waltzing, quick-stepping or doing the tango in front of millions. 
But for the two-time DWTSchamp, life wasn't always so smooth: As a child, Burke was repeatedly molested by a friend of her family's – and testified against him in court, helping send him to prison for nearly two decades. 

"I'm telling my story," says Burke, 26, who opens up about the molestation – and other struggles, including physical abuse by two former boyfriends – in her new book Dancing Lessons, (coauthored by PEOPLE senior writer Monica Rizzo). "They're not secrets. There's no shame." 
Burke's abuser was a retired mailman who was trusted and well liked in Burke's Bay Area community. He would sometimes pick Burke up from school and do odd jobs around her home. The assaults began when she was 5.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

State of the Union, State of the Onion and State Crime

Dear insansapinas,

State of the Union 
Naah, I did not watch the President delivered the State of the Union Address. It was aired at the same time with one of my favorite TV series, White Collar. 

State of Onion

I also started reading a mystery novel, State of the Onion where the main character is the executive chef of the White House. It is fiction of course but the name of the chef was either that of a Filipino or Hispanic but no ethnicity was mentioned. The height of 5'2 and the olive skin could point out that she is not a Caucasian.
Other than  she was the first woman to be appointed chef, there was no more similarity with the current Fil-am executive  chef. 

What I was interested in was how the author described the preparations, the kitchen staff make when there are state dinners; events sponsored by the White House and the regular meals cooked for the First Family.

At the end of the novel, there were recipes printed for the food lovers to try in their own kitchen.

The first novel that I read by the Author was entitled Eggscutive Orders. It was about a special agent who died while eating dinner prepared by the Chef and her staff. O di va intriguing?

The novel that I am reading right now is about a suspected assassin who excaped the rain of bullets from the security but not with the chef's heavy frying pan which she bought as a gift for the retiring chef. After series of encounters with the assassin, the diminutive chef became the target of a person who is suspected to be in the White House as rouge agent. Hindi ko pa tapos. Hindi ko pa nahuhulaan kung sino ang killer.

It is fiction just like an episode in one of my favorite spy and mystery thrillers where a dictator was toppled by using the internet. After watching it, I said, it is impossible to happen.

Tapos biglang nangyari sa Tunisia.

The bomb which is detonated through cell phone is nothing new to the spy thriller, Burn Notice. The series will even teach you how.

State Crime

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Who Created Big Bad Blogger?

Dear insansapinas,

It all started with a box of doughnuts sent to bloggers who can afford to buy one or two but the feeling that they belonged to the elite group whose clout in the blogosphere was sealed by those freebies made them write about the doughnut which is an enemah of a diabetic like me. Arghh.
Then came media events where bloggers were treated with galore of food in exchange of a blog entry for the event. 
Rewind: In my past life as a Ca t, I wrote this article:
Here is an excerpt: 
This is in relation to the competition in the “racket” of inviting bloggers in media events.
So you think that the bloggers-attendees only get free food which some self-proclaimed media event organizers bring home by “truck” leaving other people who attended the events hungry?
Some get paid. Some denied they get a single cent but they won’t tell you that they get other compensation in the form of credentials to attend media gathering. Some get priorities to freebies. What is amusing is that these critics of poverty bloggers were observed to bring members of the family to these events so they can get more freebies. If they can only convince the sponsors that their dogs are also bloggers, they could have done it. Patay gutom din?
And I thought the freebies are barya-barya. I was Wrong.
According to my source, when there are only a few bloggers who go to event, the gift check amounts as much as 5,000 per blogger. O diva, pag kasama mo ang katulong mo na inintroduce mong blogger din, may 10,000 ka. If you attended two in a month, that is 20,000.
The corporations sponsoring events want more bloggers. The marketing people of the corporations think that even without them blogging after the event, they can promote the product by word of mouth.

So the more bloggers there are, the better.

But the anti-poverty and media events groupies did not want this to happen. Their freebies are reduced and they find themselves in the company of what they call PATAY GUTOM BLOGGERS.
I am reminded of some partygoers from hell who cart the extra food home even other attendees are still hungry.
We, bloggers in the United States do not know about this “racket”. And I personally do not care. Sa hirap ng buhay, whatever freebies that people get should be appreciated for others. But to call them PATAY GUTOM, that is something else and blogging it in the guise of advise from a marketing expert is I found a little unethical.
I do not know elitist bloggers are fond of critizing bloggers on their economic status.
I admit, even without forensic evidence, that I say something about the size of the brain of my adversaries instead of calling them bobo but not patay gutom. Iba yon. Mine is a challenge for reasoning ability; the latter was looking down on people who are not a level of the economic status of the labeler.

Will someone educate me why we still have bigots among us?
After the media events, more freebies were received by some high profile bloggers. They were dined, wined and given free trips, again for endorsements. Positive of course because, how can they bite the hands that feed them? Same faces appeared in the photoops. They were proud of it. I did not care as long as they will put a disclaimer that it was a sponsored trip,  free hotel voucher and free meals.

Now comes the business-minded PR firm. Why not make money from out of these practices which to some credible food blogger such as MarketManila considered a violation of  ethics in journalism and food journalism ? 

He wrote: 
Basically, what these policies espouse is that journalists, including food writers, SHOULD NOT ACCEPT FREEBIES. 

Monday, January 24, 2011

Bad Manicure, Bad Hair Day and Big Bad Blogger

Dear insansapinas,

Bad Manicure

Because of bad manicure, this woman called and wasted precious minutes of 9-11. Leechzee.

Bad Hair Day

I did not write that days before I was admitted in the hospital, I had my hair cut.
Nang lumabas ako sa parlor, tabingi ang ulo ko. Mas mahaba pala kasi yong buhok sa kaliwa. Sus

Kasi naman di na ako nakareklamo, binigyan ako ng Christmas give away na chocolate with champagne. Hic.

Big Bad Blogger

Kalat sa internet and article ni Margaux Salcedo kung saan, inaakusahan niya ang PR Firm na exortionist daw.May blogger na binabayaran daw ang firm para magreview ng mga restaurants. Pag hindi sila nagbayad, bad review ang mangyayari. 

Bad, bad, bad.



Forensic Accounting-The Case of the 200 Hundred Million Check

Dear insansapinas,

Bago ko i-discuss ang topic na ito, meron munang pasakalye. Music, maestro please.

Maraming naguguluhan at nagtatanong ano nga ba ang profession mo, teh? Nagi akong auditor, chief accountant, academician, runner ng fashion designer noong ako ay nasa high school pa. Tagatakbo ako sa Divisoria pag may kailangang mga tela, beads, threads at iba pa. Naggantsilyo rin ako para maipagbili at madagdagan ang aking allowance sa school. Kulang na lang ang tumulay ako sa alambre. 
Lahat ng ito ay ayaw ng mother ko kasi gusto niya magconcentrate ako sa school. Tigas ulo kasi eh.

I started my accounting profession as an audit assistant. (tagadala ng portfolio, tagabili ng pagkain  at  taga tagatasa ng lapis ng auditor). Minsan look-out pa ako sa boyfriend niyang susundo sa kaniya. Sus.

 I was an accounting intern then in an auditing company. On- the- job training baga pero may allowance kami at hindi kami nagbabayad kagaya ng mga nursing grads. (sapul ba?). Libre pa ang worksheet (yong malapad na yellow na may mga columns, ngayon pwede ng gawin sa computer). Kaya mabangong-mabango ang pangalan namin sa mga kaklase (dalawa kami sa kumpaniyang yon). Hingi-hingi sila ng hingi lalo pag may exam sa Accounting.

Isang araw, nagpanic sa office. Hindi sumipot ang aming magandang auditor. Kamukha siya ng isang artista. Sophisticated looking, maganda ang make-up (mukha nga akong tagadala ng sapatos niya). Nagtanan daw sa kaniyang Tsinoy na boyfriend. Ahhhh. (may kwento ako diyan later).

Wala silang maipadadala sa client. Sabay-sabay silang tumingin sa akin, (hindi po, hindi po ako ang nabigay ng notice kung saan sila magkikita, bwahaha) at sabi ikaw, ikaw ang papalit. Biglang promoted ako. Biglang taas din ang height ko. Pinaghighheels ako eh. 

Pagdating sa client, ignore mode ang accountant sa akin. Kung baga ang tingin niya, may gatas pa ako sa labi. Hindi sila natatakot. Bagito pa ako. hahaha.

Case 1
Lapping. Hindi po ito ang hahaha at bwahahaha. Ito ay practice ng mga hudas, balasubas at hestas na mga empleyado na nagnanakaw sa kumpaniya. Alalahanin ninyo, hindi nagagawa ang mga fraud na ito kung walang connivance. 

Ito ang explanation diyan. 

 The process is simple: An employee or accomplice opens a bank account using a name similar to the company's name and deposits checks meant for the company. The employee may conceal this fraud by using the payment from another customer to credit the account of the customer whose payment the employee diverted to the bogus company. For example, customer A pays $1,000 on their account, but the employee endorses the check and deposits it into the bogus company's account. When customer B makes a payment on their account the employee will credit the payment to customer A's account. This is known as lapping, and it may go on for an extended period depending on the extent of internal controls a company has in place.
Sa kasong unang sinalaksak sa akin. Ganito ang nangyari. Yong bookkeeper at cashier ay magka-accomplice. Ang cashier ang tumatanggap ng bayad, at ang bookkeeper at tagapost ng bayad sa ledger ng mga customer. 

Ano ang aking tiningnan? Yong mga receipts at ang mga accounts ng customer. Sa isang receipt, may tinangap na 500 pesoses pero ang nakapost sa payment niya ay 200 pesoses lang. Three hundred ibinulsa.
May sumunod na entry, 300 pesoses pero wala naman akong nakitang recibo. Meron para sa isang customer. Aha. Tinally ko ang mga recibo, hindi nagreconcile sa idiniposito ng araw na yon. Mas mababa ang deposit sa receipts. Hmmm. Tuloy-tuloy ako sa ginawa ko. Ngiting aso ang mga bruho. Bakit hindi nakita ng ibang auditor ng anomaly na iyon. Ganoon ba ako kagaling sa kanila. Naah, Virginia, nakita nila ang mga mali pero mas pinili nilang hindi makita. Kung anong rason nila, yon ang kanilang problema.

Umabot sa 100,000 pesoses ang nawawala. Nagreport ako mismo sa may-ari ng audit company. Gulat siya. 
Kinausap niya ang management. Balak idemanda ang mga nasabing tao. Sabi ni boss, witness daw ako. Pupunta ako sa korte. Ngiii. Buti na lang nag out-of-court settlement. Babayaran ng dalawa ang nawalang pera. Ako naman naging paranoid. Parang palaging may nakasunod sa akin. Eeeek.

Case 2
Ang nawawalang libo-libong pera. Ako naman ang pinadala ni Boss. Hindi pa ako tapos na aking audit, may masamang balita. Nagsuicide ang treasurer. Ngiii.

Case 3

Ang sangkot naman ay ang President at CEO ng isang organisasyon. Nagtayo rin sila ng bogus company kung saan binabayaran nila ng mga services na non-existent naman. Resign silang bigla dahil sa findings ng aking audit. Ahem.

Sinong nagsabing boring ang buhay ng accountant at auditor? 

The Case of the 200 million check and the travails of the State Auditor
Bilib ako sa dating State Auditor na si Heidi Mendoza. 

Hindi siya nagpapressure sa kaniyang mga superiors. Ito ang sinasabi ko na minsan hindi dahil istupido ang mga ibang auditor kaya di nila nakikita ang mga anomalya. Talagang sinasara lang nila ang kanilang mata na pwedeng natatakpan ng mga libo-libong halaga. 
Simple lang naman ang aming sinusunod sa audit. "Should be entry" versus "actual erroneous entry made" or "no entry "at all equals anomaly.

Pero hindi si Heidi nagpapressure. 

Early on, Mendoza received messages to “go slow” on Garcia. “Dahan-dahan lang,” she recalled being told by a government executive.
On another occasion, people within the Armed Forces told her that her investigation was futile because five of her bosses at COA were purportedly receiving favors from the military.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Kobe Bryant, Lebron James and other NBA legends beaten by Ricardo Reyes a Pinoy busboy

Dear insansapinas,
Tinalo ni Ricardo Reyes si Kobe Bryant, an LA Laker icon in Pop-a-Shot Challenge.
Panoorin ninyo.

Pati si LeBron James hindi pinatawad. hahaha

Si Charles Barkley nilampaso din.

Lalo naman si Lamar Odom.


Closing Out Sale, Instant Pancit Shanghai and my Lioness Mother

Dear insansapinas,

One of the side effects of the "procedure" for my cancer is fatigue aside from nausea. I did not feel nauseous a bit. Good news, hindi ako buntis. mwehehehe.

I tire easily. If I can do three tasks one after another before, now I have to take a little rest after I have done one task. Hindi ko na tuloy mabuhat yong couch with my one hand pag ako nagvavacuum. toinkk. I lied. Meron kaming robot na nagvavacuum habang nanood ka ng TV. Babanggain ka pa paghahara-hara ka.

But it was the birth anniversary of my mom. I usually serve her something. Our Bicol culture. I know Chinese also do this ritual for the departed ones.

I have not been out since my hospital discharge except going to the bank with my brother. So the other day, I decided to go out despite the strong and chilly wind alone.

Whoa, kita ko closing out sale sign in the grocery store where I used to buy food items. It is walking distance and although it is small, I can get fish, meat and some vegetables aside from the junk foods that I eat during my " I do not have appetite moods".

I know the biggest retail store Walmart opened its nth branch across the highway and it now carries groceries aside from its usual dry goods. Nakain na naman ang maliit na business. Arghhh.

So I started picking up items that were still available. No more fish section. Only limited poultry and meat and no more FLOWERS. arghhh. Its' the end of the world. Call the Mayans. (hyperventilate).

Ten to fifty per cent discounts were offered except for soda. Tssk tssk. I noticed that the price was also jacked up. Mga Hudas, hestas, barabas. How do I know? May built-in abacus ang aking utak. The canned coconut water which I prefer than Gatorade for my anti-dehydration ek ek was no longer 99 cents. It increased to more than a dollar. Bawasan mo ng 10 per cent, ganoon din di ba. Sus.

My Lioness Mother

So I went home without a pie or a small cake. I was so tired when I arrived home that I could not cook leche flan. (Leechzee).

I remember, I still have those Instant Pancit Shanghai which I brought from the Philippines a year ago. Wala namang expiry date. So after offering a short prayer, sabi ko pasensiya na siya, pancit lang ang nai-ooffer ko. For long life baga. Toinkkk.

Kung buhay yon, tatawa na naman. When she was confined in the hospital, dying of cancer, I made her laugh. She was in and out of the coma. Something I said to the nurse and she laughed. If she could talk, she would have told the nurse that I was a frustrated comedienne.

My mother was more of a lioness than a tiger. She was very protective of her cubs (that's us). I found it stifling when I was a teener thus my rebellious nature.

You can't blame her. She was widowed when she was hardly 40. Unlike the tiger mother, she did not force us to get high grades. She was a consistent valedictorian in her school days and it was like an unwritten code that we should follow her footsteps. Indeed, my siblings were graduating valedictorians and salutatorians. 
I got a pasang-awa grade when I was in grade 2 that the teachers asked if I were the daughter of my mother. hehehe.

Kasi naman boring yong klase. (palusot pa). While my classmates were drawing stick people. I was drawing anime-like characters. I had that story where I drew my teacher in a bikini. I was brought to the guidance counsellor. They thought I was kind of pervert. The guidance counsellor thought, I was gifted. hehehe. (See my self-portrait in my sidebar) Siyempre drawing ko, kaya maganda ako. Toinkk.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Employment Based Green Card Petition

 Dear insansapinas,

Two friends of mine were denied green card through employment-based petition. They were not suing because they knew and they did know that there is no guarantee for the petitions to be approved. Itong balitang ito, tumaas ang kilay ko ng isang pulgada.
(disclaimer: I am not an immigration specialist).

WOODSIDE,  NY – A Filipina who worked as an accounting consultant to a Filipino-owned staffing agency in New York is suing her employer.Jacqueline Aguirre claims she was subjected to forced labor, human trafficking and falsely promised a green card.
The Filipino-American Foundation for Immigration and Employment Advocacy is helping Aguirre sue Best Care Agency, Inc. and its owners Dorothy de Castro and Perlita Jordan in a Brooklyn Federal Court last which was filed on December 20.
The 36- year- old Aguirre said,  “Because of the two of you – De Castro and Jordan – I lost my legal status, I tried to fix everything, I paid for my own lawyer, thank God I was able to pay for the fees involved”
Aguirre came to the U.S. on a visitor’s visa in 2000. In 2001, Aguirre took an accountant position at a staffing company called Best Care Agency, Inc. in Floral Park, New York.
Aguirre said, she agreed to work for the agency because the owners allegedly promised  to sponsor her green card  after she paid them $3,000 as an initial “processing fee” among other immigration fees.
She got her work visa in April 2001. But when the company filed an immigrant petition for her in 2009, Court records showed that Best Care Agency was not financially capable to sponsor her green card application.
Civil Right lawyer, Attorney Felix Vinluan said, “The owners of the agency knew that they didn’t have the financial capability but they did misrepresent yung supposed financial capabilility nila kay Ms Jacqueline Aguirre para lang makapagtrabaho si Miss Aguirre sa Kanila who actually became a one woman office staffing agency for them.”
Court documents showed, from 2001 to 2009 Aguirre was only paid from $8 to $12 an hour instead of the promised rate of $19 to $22 per hour as written and agreed in her labor condition application.
Aguirre claims that aside from her original job as an accounting consultant she was required to perform other responsibilities such as staffing and other office work not related to accounting.
Aguirre said, the owners threatened her with withdrawing their sponsorship if she did not comply.
After Best Care Agency’s petition was denied, Aguirre said, her boss Perlita Jordan allegedly offered Aguirre to marry Jordan’s brother to save her from getting deported,  but only if she promised to pay her a big sum of money for the arranged marriage.
Aguirre said, “When I spoke to Perlita Jordan, she said, Jackie you should take care of my brother’s payment for your marriage, I said, I’m marrying an American Citizen who I’m not in love with, this is just going to worsen my situation, this is not the solution to my problem.”
Today, Aguirre is not only out of a job, she could also be deported.
Aguirre is seeking damages for human trafficking and $100,000 in back wages.

Balitang America has repeatedly called  Best Care Agency to get their response to Aguirre’s allegations, but owners Dorothy de Castro and Perlita Jordan have not yet responded.

1. The woman came to the US in a tourist visa and was given a work permit in 2001. At that time, the semi-amnesty of paying more than a thousand dollars to waive the process of going back to the Philippines to pick up the working visa (standard procedure) was enforced. The work permit was easy to process then. It is the green card petition which is "madugo.  Human trafficking? I do not know. 

Baron Geisler apologized to a Pie -Playing the Victim Card

Dear insansapinas,

Walang ibang iskandalo o intriga sa media kaya overstretched yong news tungkol kay Baron Geisler. May fancy title na namang ibinigay, the TV's Wild Child.  Sus.

Was he sober when he apologized to Cherry Pie Picache? 
You know, I do not want to talk about that anymore. But I would like to apologize to Miss Pie. If I touched her or grabbed her in any way na she felt violated or offended, I'm very sorry, Miss Pie. I was just doing my job po. I have no intention to put you in that position or to make you feel that way na ma-offend po kayo. I'm very sorry, Miss Pie," Geisler said in an interview with ANC's "Headstart" hosted by Karen Davila.
Porsche Dios Por Santo naman, di ba niya alam na Picache ang apelydio ni Cherry Pie?Anong job ang ginagawa niya, ang manghipo? 

He traced his drinking habit to breaking up  Jodi Santamaria, the wife of the son of Ping Lacson who is now a mother.

Eh 14 pa lang siya alcoholic na. Sus. 

According to him:  
 It's really my passion and sometimes when I do things differently, time I will be more careful. Ako kasi, kaya ako naja-judge, kasi when I'm on the set, I just become the character," Geisler said.
Bigyan kaya siya ng role na pinakakain sa buwaya. Tseh.

Ewan ko hindi ko pa siya napapanood pero meron namang akong mga hinangaang actor na magaling umarte, si Eddie Garcia, si Christopher de Leon, si Michael de Mesa, Mark Gil, Joel Torre, Cesar Montano  at iba pa pero wala yata akong nabalitaang nangbabastos sila ng mga babaeng kasama nila sa movie or TV. 

Meron din akong mga kilalang mga alcholic, pero hindi naman sila manyakis. 

Noong bata pa ako, merong mag-ama sa aming barrio na parehong lasenggero. Pag lasing ang anak, tumatakbo sa kalsada at nanghahalihaw ng itak. Ngiii. Awat naman si Ama.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Face that Launched a Thousand Smiles

Dear insansapinas,

Mahirap talaga pagka"date" mo ay doctor. Meron kang exact hour of appointment at kung siya ay specialista...wala kayong privacy, dadaan ka muna sa kaniyang mga " barangay tanod...nurse at physician assistant.

Kahapon ay appointment ko para sa evaluation ng " procedure" na ginawa nila sa akin noong first week of January. Last Monday, kinunan na ako ng blood works at pinadala sa kanila ang resulta.

Nag-arrange ako ng ride. Swerte ko, mabait yong driver, pero pagbalik ko, hindi na siya ang sumundo kung hindi  yong dating driver na nagkawala-wala kami nang hinatid niya ako last year sa aking appointment, ang dumating. Pero ngayon, marunong na siya. Naalala niya ako ng makita niya yong mailbox. Ah the lady in front the mail box. Naalala niya. Saka siya ngumiti.

Ang physician assistant ay may problema sa throat niya kaya para kaming pipi at bingi na nag-usap. Hahahaha. 

Tapos tinawag niya ang aking doctor na Pogi, Italiani, Spaghetti. Nakangiti siya. Okay daw ang resulta sa blood works. MAY DUGO PA RAW AKONG NATITIRA.  mwahahaha.

Para makita pa ang progress nang ginagawa nila at ano pa ang gagawin (minus liver transplant na ginawa kay Steve Jobs ng Apple Computer, dahil ako ay tumanggi) ako ay pinaschedule for MRI. Sus, para na naman akong turkey na ipapasok sa oven. 

At least si Steve Jobs marami pang ma-icontribute sa madlang people kaya okay lang na magdecide siyang magpaliver transplant. Ako naman karaniwang tao lang (prrrrssst) so ang  years or so extension ay di na masyadong makakatulong. 

Wala pang isang oras ang appointment, kasama na ang mga schedules sa susunod na appointment so, ang tagal pang hihintayin ko sa aking ride. Mahigit isang oras pa.

Nabasa ko na yata lahat ng mags na nasa waiting room, Economist, New Yorkers, National Geographic, wala, thirty minutes lang ang dumaan.

So labas ako doon sa waiting area para sa pick-up ng mga out-of patients or mga dumarating na mga pasyente.

Isa lang ang upuan. Kung kamag-anak mo sa Palitto (SLN) tatlo ang magkakasya. Kapag mga babaeng tinatawag na "bearer of the race" aka
malalaki ang powet, dalawa lang puno na.

Tahimik akong naupo at tinitingnan ang isang lalagyan may sign na "dress the umbrella". Akala ko bagong fashion kagaya ng dress your pet, yon pala plastic  na isusuot mo ang dripping umbrella para hindi mabasa ang floor. Simple but brilliant idea. Parang gusto kong kumuha ng isa. Kaya lang nahiya ako dahil hindi naman umuulan at wala naman akong umbrella. Acheche