This is about a male friend of mine aside from we're together in the first company, I worked for. We were five in all but it is he who became closest to me because he was quiet and well-behaved.
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I saw his meltdown when our common friend refused his proposal. For our girl-friend, she considered it "incest" since we treated each other like sisters and brothers. Besides, she had also her love crisis at that time. She was in love with her boy friend of two years who was in love with another girl. (Ani nga sa kanta, mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal niya ay iba, crazy world)
To help him forget the girl (although they remained friends) another male friend of ours introduced her to a girl friend of his. (Girl friend lang kasi, girl din yong kaibigan namin. Ahaahy). Unfortunately, the first time they went on threesome, the girl smoked like a chimney and was dead drunk before they finished the date.
Then he met a lady in the internet. She's a Filipina, separated from the husband (daw) and has a son. He went home to the Philippines and they met. He was happy when he came back. Then I received a phone call from him asking about a recruitment agency. I browsed its website. Nothing in it except the contact number which was just a voice mail. I smelled a rat.
The girl was insinuating that she needed the money for placement fee for this recruitment agency of temp workers in the US. I advised him not to give a single cent. From then on, the girl became cold as ice and he intercepted an e-mail from another guy. Nagkamali siguro ng padala. Boyfriend ng girl friend niya (?)
He became depressed again. He met another Filipina. Before he came home to the Philippines to see each other in person, the lady had already ordered expensive perfumes and other gifts. Para ba siyang sa Santa Claus. Even when he came back to the US, she was still asking for more gifts. Sabi ko, hindi yan bilmoko. Bigaymoko.
The romance just died. The only explanation was that the lady found him boring daw.
He decided to go home to the Philippines for good to take care of some properties. There he met this lady who is a professional. He got no boyfriend but his family has big landholdings in their province. She never experienced to wash dirty dishes and clothes. The parents sent her monthly food provisions and saw to it that she always had house help.
After less than a year of courtship (babae ang lumigaw), they decided to get married. I was happy for my friend. Then while they were preparing for the wedding, the bride-to-be had altercations with almost all the relatives and friends. Napag-isip ako. Something wrong.
I advised my friend that instead of getting married in the Philippines, it is a lot faster to petition her as fiancee. She did not accede. First, her friends are there. (I agree, women tend to show off to their female friends about her conquest). Then there was already the plan of going to the US. Patay. My friend thought that he will be staying in the Philippines for good. Anyway.
My friend's mother had to go home to the Philippines to meet the parents and relatives and arranged for the wedding. Inako niya ang more than half a million na gagastusin pa lang sa reception.
His sister bought the wedding gown. Vera Wang pa yata.
So nakaraos ang wedding. His siblings and mother in the US travelled several thousand miles to attend the wedding. She was even ecstatic when she was telling me that the church was beautifully decorated.
My friend flew back to the US to work on her papers. So he called me. Hindi ako lawyer pero marami akong experience.
Naayos na lahat, nasubmit na and the INS said that processing will take at least six months. Hige.
Then my friend called asking me if it is really six months. Sabi ko minsan nga more than that kasi maraming mga holidays both in the US and the Philippines.
My friend called again. His wife is getting depressed while waiting. Sabi ko wala pang three months.
Then another call. Hindi na raw nag-uusap ang mother niya at ang wife sa telepono. Nag-away daw. Halos araw at gabi raw tumatawag si wife.Sumbong sa akin ng mother niya, hindi na nga raw makalabas ng kuwarto ang anak niya. May sarcasm pala yon. Tinanong pa ako kung natatawagan ako. OO naman,
The mother advised her son to tell the wife that she should think first before she opens her mouth. Nakakasakit.
Then he called again. The brother told my friend to tell his wife not to write their quarrels and other personal issues in her Facebook.
Last night we talked. Ano ba talaga ang problema nyan. Insecurities, sagot niya. Pinipilit na madaliin ko yong papel niya kung hindi, pupunta siya sa iba. ANO KA INS?
I remember the first time he told me that the lady wanted to come to the US. She has relatives daw dito who can take care of them.
So I asked my friend:
1. Does she know that some relatives are only accommodating if you are just a guest?
2. Is she prepared to wait for many months until she gets a job. The rejection can lower the self-esteem especially if she never had that kind of problem in the Philippines.
3. Does she know that there are times when the couple do not see each other because of the work schedules.
For a woman that has insecurities na para bang aagawin ang kaniyang asawa palagi, malaking problema yan.
4. Depression is not only caused by problems but also by the weather.
5. She got to be independent if she wants to survive in the US.
My friend said that she is war freak every time he brings out the issue. Patay. She talks a lot, nags a lot and fights a lot. It is like a menopause that came earlier.
Note: My friend gave me the permission to write about his love life, Anyway you do not know him. What is important is the lesson. He asked me what is he going to do if the marriage does not work. Naku mali ang tinanungan niya. Diborsyada po ako and if I feel am miserable in a relationship, I end it while we are still friends.
Sabi niya maybe one year is not enough to know a person. Sabi ko hindi yon ang dahilan. Pag mabait ang tao mabait talaga. Kahit na matagal na kung minsan di mo pa rin kilala ang taong malapit saiyo.
Pinaysaamerika
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