Thursday, January 05, 2012

The Stepson from Hell -Parenting

Dear insansapinas,

It all started with the conversation about Piolo's son graduating in the United States when the topic about my friend's nephew came about. Also of  the ad where the baby was throwing cereals to a man and found to be cute. Huh!

I was praising her my friend's sister for enabling her troubled son to finish high school and enrolled in the community college this school year. For a woman who did not have formal education, it is already a milestone as an immigrant from the Philippines--hawking fruits and vegetables in a public market and earning a living in the States working in the housekeeping of a hospital.

She married an old man who gave her the green card and married a Caucasian who is almost half her age when the first husband died after a few months . Then she petitioned her son from the common-law husband in the Philippines.

When the youth was six years old, I can not help but eavesdropped from my friend's long distance calls (they were noisy) and I heard how the biological father would give him a knife and instructed the boy to run after the "audience" in that small merrymaking where the boy was the star. Sasabihin niya sa bata, go and pagsasaksakin mo ang mga !@#$% na yan. My friend's mother who was vacationing from the US was all praises for the toddler. Matalino raw. Huh ulit!Sabi ko, drum, hindi balde ng luha ang ibibigay niyan.sama ko.

When the boy arrived from the Philippines he was already  eleven years old. Every week, the couple was summoned to the principal's office with the warning that if he would not shape up, the school would kick out the boy and saw to it that he would not be accepted in other schools within the area.

The poor young stepfather tried to reform the youth. He bought him a second hand car, a laptop and lots of games. He also asked his father to bond and talk with the boy.

Every time, they have an altercation however, the mother and the grandmother would come to the defense of the tweener. Kawawa naman daw kasi "inaapi". Naku naman pag may inaapi na walang ginawa kung hindi kumain lang, na hindi naghuhugas ng pinagkainan niya at kung murahin ang stepfather niya ng kahit baboy, di makain, magpapaapi na ako. TSEH.

The stepfather would avoid the discussion about discipline so as to avoid quarrel with his wife. UNTIL last December, when the family was planning to have  media noche together. The Caucasian husband (he's only older by eight years to the boy's 18) of the my friend's sister found illegal drugs in the belongings of the stepson. All hell's broke loose after that. The stepfather drove the youth out of the house who in turn broke two windows. It was only when he threatened to call the police when the 18th year old young man left to go to his friend's house. Patitirahin daw siya doon hanggng gusto niya. Anoh? I would bet my lunch that he would not stay long in that place when he overstayed his welcome.

The grandmother and the mother sympathized with the boy but the husband put his foot down, no, Not even their attempt to leave that night could change the mind of the young stepfather. Either, they leave and not come back or stay for Christmas. O di natauhan sila. They stayed.

The young boy called up his biological father after a few weeks. Siguro pinaalis na sa tinitirhan. He advised him to go back to the house, asked for apology because HE CAN NOT AFFORD TO LIVE BY HIMSELF. Pag daw kaya na niya, saka siya lumayas. ANO SIYA INAAPI na naman?

So he was back to the house. His old car was sold by the stepfather and so was his gift  of new laptop to pay for the things he destroyed when he was trying to scare the family. 

Things would become normal again after a few weeks--coming to the house just to eat, hanging out with bad company, mother defending the already emancipated youth. Dito sinisipa na talaga yan para magtrabaho. What if he has adopted that bad habit of using illegal drugs? Junkees hurt their family even though there is no reason for them to do so. 


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