You do not appreciate what your parents have done until you are in their shoes

Dear insansapinas,
I just talked with Tsikiting Gubat Girl yesterday  over the phone. She is in San Francisco pursuing her Graduate Studies. She said that she enroled in more units while working so she can finish by next year. Hirap daw.  It's okay, I told her. When I was taking up m MBA, I did not know what music was popular then; didn't watch TV and movies during the duration of the course. I had no social life except for end-of-the-trimester-get together organized by classmates who wanted to suck up with the professor.


My only difference with the Tsikiting Gubat Girl is that I was already married then and had a family to include in my responsibility.Siya boy friend pa lang na Fil-am at hindi marunong magTagalog. Kasama naman niya sa choir sa simbahan.


Studying-wise however, she has more passion than I had that except for an incident of diarrhea, she never missed school. Papasok yang may IV kung pwede lang. 


Ito siya noong graduation niya noong kinder. Pasaway pa rin.

Sinisilip niya ang laman ng coupon bond na nareceive niya sa stage. Kala niya may nakasulat na pangalan niya.

Tingin siya sa akin. Nadaya raw siya. Kita mo pati bangs ko ginagaya.

Para may pakinabang ginamit niyang telescope. nyahaha


Sana buhay pa ako paggraduate niya sa kaniyang Graduate Studies.

Ito na siya noong pumunta kami sa Universal Studios. Hindi niya kotse yan. Ang kotse niya (reklamo niya) ay isang turnilyo na lang ang nakakabit at magiging dinosaur na. Dati nga yata parte yon ng Transformer.  Kung makadrive kasi sa SF, pagsakay ako tawag ko lahat ang paborito kong Santo. 


Tsikiting Gubat Boy

Tsikiting Gubat Boy noong grumaduate ng nursery. Pati bangs ko ginagaya rin.

 Tsikiting Gubat Boy noong grumaduate sa College. nyahaha. kidding. Noong grumaduate ako sa MBA. Nakipag-unahan sa toga.
Noong grumaduate siya sa College, inofferan siyang magturo on the condition na magmamasters din siya. Wala namang makapagturo ng Application ng IT sa business kung hindi siya kaseh.

Kung mayroon akong hawak palagi noon ay camera. Minsan kaseh kahit biglang gising nagpapasikat.

Nahuhulog pa ang diapers niyan. hahaha


Kung hinahanap ninyo yong dalawa pang TGs. Wala silang retrato dahil lumaki sila sa kanilang mga magulang bago ko sila kinuha.
Parang pay forward ang ginawa ko sa pasasalamat sa mga taong tumulong sa aking matupad ang aking mga pangarap.


Pinaysaamerika

Inggit at si Tsikiting Gubat

Dear insansapinas,

Bata pa si tsikiting gubat noon. Hindi pa nag-aaral. Nagsimula na akong magturo. Natanggap ako nang ako ay mag-apply at mismong Presidente ang nagrekomenda sa akin para magmasters. Mabait ang kaniyang executive secretary. Mabait din daw ang mukha ko. Ahem. Parang di makabasag ng palayok. yuk yuk yuk.
Kailangan kong maghanap ng matitirhan na malapit sa trabaho para madali akong makauwi, Isang yaya lang ang kasama ni Tsikiting gubat.
Tamang-tama naman ay nagtanan ang kaklase ko sa college at iniwanan ang kaniyang nakakatandang kapatid sa malaking bahay nila na nag-iisa. Inalok ako ng kapatid niya na doon na lang ako mangupahan. Hige. Galit siya sa kapatid niya. Nag-asawa ng hindi tapos ng high school at isa pa nga ay hindi natanggap magturo sa universidad nainaplayan namin ng sabay. 


Dahil dito ay medyo naghirap siya. Madalas siya sa bahay para humingi ng tulong sa kaniang kapatid. Minsan pinatawag ako ng executove secretary ng Presidente. Tinanong ako kung kaibigan ko si_______. Sabi ko oo naman kasi inirekomenda ko pa siya sa pinasukan ko noon. Pinakita niya sa akin ang sulat ng paninira ng aking kaibigan. Inggit. Minsan dumalaw silang ma-asawa. Pag-alis nila may sunog ng sigarilyo ang aking couch. Evil.


Isang gabi ay may mga lalaking pumasok sa bahay. Nakilala ko na mga kamag-anak nila. Pinagsisira ang mga kagamitan ko. Walang ginawa ang matanda. Sabi niya kasi suwerte ng kapatid niya kinuha ko. Huh?
Nang tangka nilang manakit, kinuha ko ang itak sa aming kusina at para akong si Diegong Tabak na nagsisigaw. O di pulasan sila. Kinabukasan, dinala ko sa barangay captain ang kaso at itinuloy ko rin sa korte. Talo sila. Naacquit lang yong matanda dahil sa edad.


Lumipat ako ng bahay sa labas ng siyudad. Isang compound yan na may gate. Ang anak ng may-ari ay maghapon sa bahay na parang sikyu. Matandang dalaga kasi. 

The Violent Nursery Rhymes and the Poor Mango

Dear insansapinas,

This is one of the Tsikiting Gubat's series. I decided to write about them so that when I am gone, they have some stories to tell their own tsikiting gubats. Bear with me.


If you think that the girl and the boy tsikiting gubats were always at odd with another when they were kids, you're wrong. They are perfectly normal with entirely different personalities. The boy tsikiting gubat would not hesitate to speak his mind out while the girl tsikiting gubat has calm demeanour except for her brother who likes to make " buska" just to make his day. I will attribute this difference to that "way" they came out from the same womb. The boy TG was overcooked. I was already fully dilated then and my ob observed that he had no intention to come out, cozy in the uterus even the bag of water already burst. Yon pala SUHI (breech). Naah Virginia, he was not surgically removed. The chief of the OB-GYNE section came to the rescue, made hilot hilot and asked me to make "ire" like I was Jacke Chan doing the karate chop. O lumabas siya. Tigas ng ulo eh.


The girl may have been undercooked. My obstetrecian noted that my blood pressure was exceptionally high during the last term of pregnancy. She suggested that I undergo caesarian section, weeks before the ETA of the stork. Besides, I have been travelling a lot (Yes Virginia, kahit ako ay juntis na) so it was safer for me to have a fixed date. I can even choose the date when a movie star was born. Sus.


But what has this to do with the nursery ryhmes? 

Who's Eating the Grapes?

Dear insansapinas,

This is a story about my Tsikiting Gubats--The series. 

It was Christmas Eve and the helps were busy in the kitchen. So was I. 
I taught them how to cook. Ahem.
I may not be a homebody but I know how to cook kung mga boiling lang at prito lang. 

I bought  kilos of grapes, when I got by Goldiclocks to pick up the Brazo de Mercedes. It was when I was at home when I realized, kulang pala ang binili ko. Hindi ako nagprovide doon sa mga tinimbang-ka-ngunit-kulang na mga timbangan. May kasama pang langgam ang lanzones. Paano kung obese yong mga langgam. Malaking weight din ang dagdag noon.  Tseh. Anyway at least meron kaming mansanas. Kaya lang baka bago alas dose ubos na ang grapes. May mga grape monsters ako sa bahay. Para malaman kong hindi ginagalaw,  inilagay ko ito sa gitna ng buffet table. Parang decoration.

So in-between munching crispy deep fried chicken ( tikim lang pero nakakabusog. Burp) cooking pancit  and other delicacies, I observed my boy tsikiting gubat kept running around  stopping by the buffet table for a few seconds and then back again outside to his playmates.Uhm, baka kinakain na ang grapes. Hindi naman. Nandoon pa rin. 

The girl tsikiting gubat was also busy. She was attending to the carolers who came almost 15 minutes apart. Nagrereklamo na pagod na raw siya, kalalabas at kabibigay ng mga barya. 

Sabi naman ng kapatid na kontrabida. Kasi naman, ang labo ng mata, Pare-pareho lang naman yong dumarating, pabalikbalik. Minsan apat, minsan tatlo, minsan dalawa,,,parehong grupo lang naman. Bago magkagiyera mundial, pinagbihis ko na sila.

We went to the midnight mass and when we came home, I decided that we eat first before opening the gifts. 

Pumitas muna ako ng grape sa bungkos na nakadekorasyon. Ayaw maalis. Itinaas ko yong buong bungkos. Waaah, peke. Yong life-like na plastic na grapes. NASAAN ANG GRAPES?

Sabi ng pamangkin ko, hindi pa siya kumakain. Wala pa namang kumakain. Wala si boy tsikiting gubat. Tinitingnan yong nakuhang regalo ng kaniyang kalaro. Yong regalo niya? Kung di ko pa alam. bago Pasko, binubuksan na niya at binabalot ulit. Tapos pagbukasan na ay kunwari gulat pa siya. Salbahe.

May hinala ako na siya ang kumain ng grapes. Palusot nang sinita ko. "Pero Mommy, sabi kasi ng mga Intsik, kailangan daw kumain ng pitong grapes para suwertihin sa bagong taon, Kumain ako ng mas marami para maraming swerti. " Palagi siyang may rason. 

Separation Anxiety

Dear insansapinas,

Naah Virginia, this is not about a couple separating or sweethearts having lovers' quarrel that leave the woman or the man cry buckets of tears. Yes, Maryland, men cry too.


This is about separation anxiety during the first day in school of the first graders or nursery " rhymers". This is another story about my tsikiting gubats.


During the first days of school of my tsikiting gubats, I did not report to my regular bread and butter provider. I worked on my sidelines at home, although I did not stay in the school since I like the tsikitings to be used to being on their own. Daya lang, the nannies were with them but they were not allowed in the school buildings. They had their own place where they could discuss the latest in the movies or TV or engaged in their hobbies while waiting for their wards.


That morning, I saw my girl tsikiting gubat walked to school with her cousin-sitter. The school was just a block away from our house. It was the only nursery school in the village. 


I had hardly brought out the worksheets, the pencils and the calculator when they were back. My girl was in a hurry. She went inside the house (I was in the patio/garage/office) in a hurry saying mommy, mommy, mommy, dali.


I thought it was an emergency. I was about to follow when my niece came and was laughing. Anong nangyari sabi ko. She wanted to go  pee. But she could not make it at the toilet of the residence-turned nursery school. Namamahay daw. 


The tsikiting gubat came out felt relieved. Para bang Ahhhhhh. It took her months to use the school's facility. 

Yuck

Dear insansapinas,

Pagkatapos ng isang araw at isang gabing ayaw kong tumayo, nagising akong walang internet. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Tawag ako sa server namin. Malakas raw ang traffic sa lugar namin kaya walang internet access. Walang pulis? Hmmm if I know.  Aga naman. Kasalukuyan pa lang pinapalabas sa TV ang pag-amin ni Weiner na hindi nahack ang kaniyang twitter account. Na nagsinungaling siya. Na siya ang nagpost ng retrato niyang hubad. Hindi pa naman siguro pinag-uusapan sa internet yon. Wala pang alas nuweve, so wala pa sa mga opisina.


Kung di ba naman sano, magpopost lang ng pic niya, nasa background pa yong retrato ng kaniyang pamilya at asawa. Arghhhh. Kongresista pa naman sa New York. Sana man lang sana Pogi. Buti na lang walang batang makakapakinig ng sinabi ko. Sheeeeeeet. Marami ba silang time para sa pakikipag IM sa mga babae?


Paborito kong expression ang S$%&*. Pakiramdam ko mas class kaysa Put#$%^&&&&& na paborito ng aking barkada noon. Nasa College na ako ng naging expression ko yon. Kung hindi pamumugin ako ng holy water ng mother ko at parerecitin  ako ng Hail Mary habang nakaluhod sa munggo. Luto nga lang. Ewww.


Siyempre, nang magkatsikiting gubat ako ayaw ko rin silang magswear.


Isang taon ang tsikiting gubat kong babae ng pinapakain ko ng Gerber. Regalo ng ninong niya. Dalawang dosena. Tuwing susubuan ko siya ay napapikit ang kaniyang mata pero sige rin ang nguya ng kaniyang gilagid. Tinikman ko. Yuck. Bakit ko ba pinaparusahan ang aking TG kumain ng ganoon. Para rin daw yon sa kaniya. Tiningnan niya ako ng sinabi ko ang yuck. Sabi niya rin yuck. Tawa ako nang malakas. Ang aking TG, nadagdagan ang vocabulary. 


Inabot ko ang mga diyaryo at in-between subo kay tiskiting, nagbabasa ako ng mga headlines. Tapos may nabasa akong balita. Syeeeet. sigaw ko. Ooops ubos na ang Gerber. Tumayo ako para kunin ang gatas sa ref habang binabasa ko ang balita. Syeet, syeet. syeeet. 


Syeeet, Ooops, hindi ako nagsabi noon. Syeeet. Umulit ulit. Hinarap ko ang aking tsikiting gubat. Hinintay kong lumabas ang salita para malaman ko kung sa kaniya nga nanggaling. Syeeet. sigaw niya. Mas malakas. Hawak ko ang gatas. Hindi ko mailagay sa kaniyang bibig. Habang paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi ang Syeet ay para pa siyang kinikilig. ANONG GINAWA KO SA AKING TSIKITING GUBAT? TINURUAN KONG MAGMURA?

CSI Goes to Caylee's Murder Trial and Kambal Tuta

Dear insansapinas,

After testimonies from parents, former boyfriend, friends and people who know Casey Anthony, the mother accused of killing her two year old daughter, Caylee Anthony, the FBI CSI testified on the single hair found in the car registered to Casey's parents which reeked of human decomposition when towed by a trucking company.


The CSI forensic said that the hair belonged to someone deceased and it was like Caylee's hair. The defense team dismissed the evidence as unreliable.


So if you see CSI people picking up even small hair in the crime scene, their purpose was to identify who owns the hair.


The defense team seemed to be holding on to a very weak defense amidst the lies of Casey to  mislead the investigators when her girl was still missing, months before she was found buried near her parents' residence.  


Motive could be the frustration of not being able to enjoy parties, company of friends especially when she got nobody to take care of her child.


We got a neighbor who would put her baby in the "kulahan" whenever, the husband would leave her because of her constant nagging. Luckily, the mother-in-law lived nearby so that she would save the baby from toasting. Dapat yon pinapupulis na eh. She was an asthmatic, ugly insecure woman who emotionally blackmailed her husband by feigning she's sick all the time. When the husband left naman for work, she can move. She would bribe me to buy her something from the store but I avoided her. I do not want to associate with her.


When I got tsikiting gubat, I would leave him to my mother. Kuntodo nakahighheels pa ako, bitbit ang diaper bag, formula and other abubots. 


When I got my girl tsikiting gubat, I would leave the baby girl to my mom for a week since the other help took care of my boy tsikiting gubat while I worked.


My mom would let the baby crawl in a big mat in the living room. Kasama ang isang tuta. Sabi ko noong malaki na siya, kakambal niya. Hati sila sa gatas. Reaction niya. Ewww.


My boy tsikiting gubat would miss her sister so he would ask me to bring her back. Sabi ko naman, pag nandito, inaaway mo, pag wala, namimiss mo. So I exerted double effort to get another nanny.