Date

Dear insansapinas,

I have been busy reading El Filibusterismo. No kids. Then I received a letter from a twelve year old girl asking me if I allowed my kids to go on date when they were her age.

Sagot ko. No. Kasi that age, my boys were still busy playing with their "barkadas" and watching wrestling. Tuksuhin mo sa babae, biglang iingos. The girls have crushes pero hanggang mga whispers lang. Ako noon, nakabilad sa araw makita ko lang ang crush ko na dumadaan sa bahay ng kaibigan ko. Arey.

Dito ang aga ng mga bata. Mga grade school pa lang may mga girl and boy friends na. O tumatanda lang ako. 

Pinaysaamerika

Burnout

Dear insansapinas, 

Wala na yong malaking buwan. Nakabalik na rin yong naghati kong katawan noong kabilugan.hehehe. Mahirap nga. Iyong taas nahihilo at inaantok, samantalang yong baba ay lakad ng lakad.


Burnout
Kausap ko ang kaibigan ko sa phone. Napupuyat siya kagagantsilyo. Sabi ko, mga hobby lang yan ng mga walang asawa at sarap na nakaupo sa tumba-tumba.(ARAY). Pero, siguro burnout siya sa katatrabaho at naghahanap ng ibang magagawa.

Mas matindi yong bayaw niya. Gusto nang magresign at magtatanim-tanim na lang daw ng gulay sa paligid nila. Kano yan. Wala pang trenta. Asawa niya ang kapatid ng kaibigan ko na mahigit kuwarenta na. Tinalakan nga siya. Aba eh saan naman niya ibebenta ang mga tanim niya.Minsan sa isang Linggo lang ang Farmer's market. Ang mga groceries ay may mga big time suppliers.

Nagkaroon din ako ng burnout noon pero hindi ako nag-isip huminto ng trabaho. Nagtanim din ako ng mga gulay sa aking garden. Nagtayo lang ako ng gapangan ng ampalaya. Sa awa ng Diyos, isa lang bunga, maliit pa.

Kokak

Dear insansapinas,
May mga araw na maganda ang pakiramdam ko. Katuland kanina. Siguro kasi bibilog ang buwan mamayang gabi. Alam naman ninyong may lahi akong aswang. Ngiii.


Kahapon, pagod ako kasi tatlong oras ako sa clinic ng doctor ko. Siya lang naman ang ganoon sa mga doctor ko. Sa iba, wala pang isang oras, tapos na ako.  Sa dami ng kaniyang pasyente, ayaw kumuha ng isa pa. Ang gagawin saiyo, ipapasok ka sa examination room tapos isang oras kang maghihintay. Hindi ka naman makalabas dahil disposable smock lang suot mo. Kahapon, mangani-nganing lumabas na ako kahit ako nakabold. Iniisip ko lang yong six months old na bata na siya pa ang kumakanta sa kaniyang nanay para patulugin.  Salbahe. Baka maging Beyonce yon. 
Baka magkatrauma pag nakita ako. 


Balik tayo sa Kokak. So, namalengke kami ng kapatid ko. Ahhhh, may palaka sa frozen section, kasama noong crab.

Tinanong ko kapatid ko kung kumakain. Hindi raw. Nakalibot na siya sa mundo, ang kinakain lang niya beef saka pasta dahil matagal siya sa Italy. Minsan baboy pero pag adobo lang. Hindi rin kumakain ng seafoods.


Kahit na masasabing unsuccessful ang first marriage ko, meron din namang magagandang memories ako doon. Kagaya nang pagluto ng palaka ng aking sister-in-law noon. Makakalimutan ko raw ang problema ko pag kumain ako ng palaka. Sarap nga naman lalo pag nilagyan ng ampalaya. Kaya lang hindi naging PRINCE yong palaka nang halikan ko;  hati na kasi ang katawan. ehek. Babaw ng kaligayahan ko talaga.

Usually dinideep fry nila ito o nilulutong parang tinola. Wala akong papaya at dahon ng sili kaya chayote na lang ang sinubtitute ko. OO Virginia, nagluluto naman ako kahit hindi ako SAHM noon. Ako taga purga noon sa mga kapatid ko sa niluto ko.

Para sa kapatid ko, magluluto ako ng adobo. Nilagay ko na sa slow cooker para kahit matulog ako, lumalambot siya.

Basura

Dear insansapinas,

Noong bata pa ako (ibig sabihin matanda na ako...inamin din...toinkz), pag hapon nagwawalis ang aking mother sa paligid ng bahay...mga dahong natuyo at nahulog at mga basura na itinapon mula sa bintana ng aming bahay. AHEM, mea culpa. Masarap amuyin ang dahong sinusunog (amoy probinsiya) pero yong ibang basura hindi masunog. Isip ko noon, bakit kailangang itapon sa lupa kung wawalisin din naman.


Kahit sa Pilipinas pa, sanay kong di nagtatapon ng basura kung saan-saan. Kaya ang bag ko puno ng kleenex, candy wrapper, kulang na lang makita mo ang garbage truck sa loob. ahek. 


Kaya noong nasa ospital ako last week, nang makita ko yong babae na panay ang dukot sa kaniyang bag, alam kong naglilinis din siya ng mga basurang inipon niya doon.


May appointment ako sa oncologist ko bukas. Hinahanap ko yong prescription niya sa aking gamot para hindi naman ako masyadong mahirapan sa side effect. Nawawala.

Competition ng mga Pangit

Dear insansapinas,

Competition ng mga pangit ang ugali
Two days ago, nabalita ang isang babaeng ninakaw ang identity ng isa ring Facebooker. Tapos, humingi siya ng pera sa isang Australiano porke isa raw siyang ulila at walang bumuhay. Sa akin kahit anong pangit mo (biglang ilag), okay ka pa rin kung maganda naman ang ugali mo. O siya, may hitsura nga pero masama nga lang ay nakakapagloko pa ng kapwa. Tseh. ooops.


Hindi lang naman poregners ang ginagawang biktima ng mga babaeng ito na hindi naman naghihirap, nakikipagkumpetensiyahan lang sa mga kaopisina nila pagdating sa pangingikil sa mga biktima nila. Meron ba namang nagugutom na nakakapaginternet pa? Pati ang bagong ahit kong kilay nagsipagtubuan ulit tuloy.


Kinuwento ko na sainyo yong kaibigan ko na dalawang beses naging biktima bago nakakuha ng pakakasalan. Yong una niyang nakilala ay may anak at asawa raw. Kaya pala sa Baguio siya niyayang magbakasyon nang umuwi siya. Nang hinihingan na siya ng pera na napakalaki, sinabihan ko ang kaibigan ko na mukha yatang berde ang kulay ng babae. Ingat. Baka mabutas ang bulsa niya. Nang hindi niya binigyan, biglang nawala yong babae  sa internet. Iba na siguro ang ginamit na account.


Hindi nawalan ng pag-asa ang kaibigan ko. Hanap ulit. Sa Pilipinas lang naman talaga mahilig sumagot. So nagkilalala sila nong ikalawa at nagkasunduan sa ibabaw ng computer na uuwi si lalaki para magkita sila ni babae. Kaso  magkikita pa lang sila for the first time, parang magtatayo na ng tindahan ang kaibigan ko sa laki ng mga balikbayan boxes niyang dala-dala. Parang pabango na lang ang ipinaliligo ng babae sa dami ng inuwi ng kaibigan ko. Pati yata yong pinsan ng pinsan ng malayo niyang pinsan, bibigyan ng pasalubong. May tsokolate pa yan ha. Pagdating sa Pilipinas, gabi-gabi ang pakain niya. Kulang na la ng ang barangay chairman para makabuo ng isang barangay na pinapakain niya tuwing lalabas sila. Nakapulupot naman daw at panay ang pagmamalaking US cit ang nakuha niya. 

Earthquake and Fire Drills

 Dear insansapinas,

 Uber prepared ang East Coast sa Hurricane Irene. Sabi nila hype kasi walang masyadong victims. Damn if you do, don't if you damn. (Learned ako eh kagaya ni James Soriano) Nilimas pa ng mga consumers ang mga shelves sa groceries ng tubig at mga delata. Sa amin ang naging biktima lang ay ang Magnolia mango flavored ice cream. Natunaw kasi walang power. BURP.

Pero pagdating sa earthquake, ito ang headline. Quake a disaster 'drill' D.C. flunked 

Kasi siguro hindi sanay ang mga tao dito sa earthquake. Sa California, mayroon kaming once or twice a month drill for fire and earthquake. Meron kaming "barangay chairman" sa bawa't floor na siyang nagcocordinate sa "Bakwet". 

Pagnarinig mo na yong sound na "THIS IS A ...

DRILL, iwan mo na kahit na anong hawak mo at takbo ka na doon sa lugar kung saan ang "mayor" ay i-aaccount sa mga department heads ang kanilang mga tao. Pagkatapos, balikan na sa opit.

Meron kaming isang empleyadang pagkatapos palang magsabi ng " present" biglang nawawala at pumupunta sa Macy's .Dalang bloke lang naman kasi ang layo sa amin. Hindi niya alam naespiyahan siya. Tanggal.

Meron pang isang empleyada na madalas umeskapo pag fire at earhquake drills, ganoon din ang gawi. Hindi lang sa Macy's kung hindi sa iba ring departmen store.Ang Macy's nga hindi mababankrupt dahil sa mga empleyadong dumadaan doon.  Minsan nakita niya ako sa Macy's din. Hehejeje. Hindi ako naglalakwatsa. Bumibili ako ng regalo para sa Big Boss. Siyempre, gusto nila ang taste ko kaya ako ang nautusang bumili.(Binola pa ako ng mga diyaske).

Disorder in the Court

Dear insansapinas,

Nanonood ako ng Disorder in the Court (ngayon ko lang napanood ito) nang may makita akong pamilyar sa akin. Ang show na ito ay compilation ng mga behind the scenes sa court or out of court na nakakatawa, nakakainis, nakakaloka at nakakatakot na mga eksena sa buhay ng mga judges, lawyers, jurors at deputy officers sa court sa US. Pero may mga ipinakikita silang mga nangyari sa ibang bansa kagaya nitong nakita ko pagkatapos kung magpatak ng eye drop sa aking mata.


Eksena ay bus. Mga pulis na tumatakbo. Isang lalaki ang tumakbo para tumakas. Ang driver. Ito ang eksena ng tourist bus hostage sa Luneta noong isang taon. Sa mga insidente, merong lawyers, police o ibang authorities na nagbibigay ng opinion. Ang nabanggit lang at naging focus ay ang disorderly manner ng pagrescue sa mga turista. 


Nakakatawa 1


Isang babae ang binabasahan ng kaniyang kaso ng matandang judge na sa katandaan siguro ay di na makarinig o makakitang mabuti. Habang nakatayo ang babaing akusado at naghihintay kung magkano ang piyansang ibabayad niya, sa likod niya ay may babaing tumayo. Akala ng mga nandoon ay siya ang susunod. Biglang naghubad ng damit ang babae na palagay ng authorities ay premeditated dahil isang alisan lang at walang suot na panloob. Habang nagkakandarapa ang mga police para takpan ang babae at ilabas a ginawa niyang paghuhubad (protest pala yon sa kaniyang 5,000 na piyansa) ang judge ay tuloy-tuloy ang pagbabasa na para bang walang nangyari. Nang matapos siya ay nailabas na ang babae at parang wala siyang kaalam-alam kung anong nangyari sa harapan niya. hehehe


Nakakatawa 2


Bago hatulan ang akusado na napatunayang pumatay at nahaharap sa death sentence, hiningi muna siyang magsalita. Inaasahan ng korte na hihingi ito ng apology sa pamilya ng biktima. Tumayo ang naasakdal at biglang bumira ng kanta. WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? with feelings.


Imbes na death sentence, binigyan siya ng judge ng two life terms. 


Nakakainis


Nang nililitis ang kaso ni Nicole Smith ang blonde na ay napangasawa ang siang mayamang bilyonaryo at namatay sa atake a puso sanhi ng gamot, ang judge ay nagkuwnto tungkol sa kaniyang tennis at golf sports. Tapos nang sinimulan na niya ang paglilitis, bumira siya ng iyak nang makita ang retrato ni Nicole Smith. Covered ng media ang kasong yon dahil celebrity si Nicole. Nag-aaudition?


Nakakainis


Isang a criminal ang pinagsalita ng judge bago ibigay ang kaniyang hatol. Imbes na humingi siya ng paumanhin, sinabihan niya ang pamilya ng biktima na nangyari na yon. Patay na ang biktima at wala na siyang magagawa. Ang sabi ng abugado, dapat pinigil ng judge ang mga ganong remarks dahil lalong nakakapasidhi ng galit ang ganong mga salita.


Nakakatakot


May mga biktima na pati ang abugadong ibinigay sa kanila ay kanilang sinasaktan kagaya ng isang lalaking may kasong aggravated robbery na tuwing makikita ang abogadong naka-assign sa kaniya ay sinasaktan niya kahit na nga may posas siya. Kung hindi niya masaktan ay dinuduraan niya. Kaya nang huling dala sa kaniya a korte at nakawheelchair siya kung saan siya ay nakastrap at may takip din ang kaniyang bunganga para hindi siya makapang dura.


Nakakaloka
Sa Australia ay may mga grupo ng kabataan na nagkita sa subway. Ang isang grupo ay binugbog ang kabilang grupo at naghahalakhakan pa sila matapos ang insidente. Nakalimutan nila na may surveillance camera sa subway at kitang-kita ang ginawa nila na malinaw ang kanilang mga mukha.

Simple Joy

Dear insansapinas,
Just simply watching this "race" between a little boy and otter makes you realize that despite the calamities, the warring nations, the politics and the pure evil brought by drugs and human trafficking,  there is still simple joy to cherish. The world is not hopeless after all.



"Feeling good kind of post to give a balance.

Pinaysaamerika

My Angel for the Day, Planner, Post-it Notes

Dear insansapinas,

Early morning, sabi ng aking brother may package daw ako na iniwan sa office ng Building Administration ng UPS. May hinala na ako na galing sa mga tsikiting gubat ko para sa Mother's Day. Pero balak ko kunin bukas on my way to the hospital.


Pero hindi naalis ang kati at hapdi ng mata ko kaya nagdecide akong pumunta sa malapit ng pharmacy. 
Hirap akong maglakad kaya dahan-dahan lang ang aking paghakbang. Parang one minute per step. bwahaha. Mauuna pa ang pagong sa akin at nakatulog na siya bago ako makarating sa finish line. Papunta sa pharmacy, dadaanan ang paborito kong bookstore. Bigla akong lumakas. Pero hinawakan ko ang aking bulsa. Tiyak paglabas ko may bitbit na naman akong libro. Hindi ko namalayan matagal din pala ako sa loob. Wow, may bagong novel si James Patterson. 10 ang title. Kababasa ko lang ng 9. Walang paperback. Kaya ang bigat ng clothbound, mabigat din ang presyo. Hinawakan ko ulit ang aking pitaka. Sabi ko huwag siyang bubukas. Naku, may bago ring nobela sa David Balducci (author ng Absolute Power). At meron ding nobela si Stuart Woods, ang paborito kong lawyer. Kumakawala ang aking pitaka. *heh*


Paglabas ko, may dala akong dalawang items lang. Haaa, hinga. May babayaran pa kasi ako sa latest procedure na ginawa sa akin. Yan nga ba ang sinasabi na pag bata ka pa nagtatrabaho ka para pagtanda mo may gagastusin ka sa pagpapagamot. Saklap ng buhay.


Bumili ako ng isang planner. Mayo na ngayon lang ako nagplanner. Baligtad kasi ako, sinusulat ko pag tapos na ang aking mga schedules. In the meantime, nasa post-its ko ang mga appointments ko. 


Naalala ko kailangan ko pala ng photo para sa pass sa aming swimming pool. Pero hindi naman ako naliligo sa pool. Takot ko lang. So scratch.


Uwi na ako. Daan ako sa Office . Kinuha ko ang package. Uhmm bulaklak. Saka na ang picture. Magaan nga pero mahaba naman. May dala pa akong libro. Malayo pa ang bahay. Pagod na ako. Parang hindi na ako makalakad.


Biglang apir ang isang bata pang lalaki. Palagay ko sa maintenance siya. Nag-oofer siyang tulungan ako. Mukha naman siyang mabait kaya nagpatulong na ako sa kaniya. Kung loloko-loko siya, bigla kong isusubo ang bato ni Darna. Toinkkk.

My First and Only Visita Iglesia in San Francisco

Dear insansapinas,
I came to the United States, three weeks before Lent. I knew only one church, St. Patrick's Cathedral, a church near the parking garage and several blocks away from our office in Union Square. Dumadaan ba, parang Quiapo.


I do not even know where St. Paul's Catholic Church is located. It was the  church in which Whoopi Goldberg sought refuge in the movie Sister Act. 

When I checked, the parish is located in the city of San Francisco, California, at Church and Valley Street in the city's Noe Valley neighborhood.


And I was surprised that San Francisco has so many Catholic churches for such a small city and county.


I said first and last. When my kumpadre learned that I landed in SFO, it took him only hours to find me. Working as a journalist in the Bay Area, (he used to be a radio personality in the Philippines before he decided to migrate to the US)he had a network of friends and informers (in short, tsismosos y tsismosas) to track someone's whereabouts.


As a welcome, he brought me to Chinatown and treated me with a big plate of chow mien. Since that was Lenten week, he invited me to make visita Iglesia. Excited, I asked my boss to allow me a few hour break to visit the churches. Talagang kalbaryo mga tita. San Francisco is dotted by hilly and steep streets. Think of roller coaster and a nightmare of a manual transmission car. Besides, you can not use your car to move from one church to another. Hello, parking meters. So the only way really was to sweat it out (although, it is no sweat because of the of the balmy weather) by walking and riding the bus. 


That was the  last visita Iglesia I made because my friend got busy with his jealous girl friend and some projects. 
Besides, the churches here are close when there are no services. There are homeless people who might
make the church their refuge. When I say homeless, I am not talking about one or a few; it could be a big group who might want an environment different from the temporary shelter provided by some churches in their basements during worse weather.


Here are the churches that we visited. 


1. St. Mary's Cathedral

-It is one of the most beautiful churches, I visited. It is located in 1111 Gough Street, San Francisco. I used to work at Geary Street so whenever I had the chance, I went to their Room of Adoration to meditate. A friend told me that every thing that he wished for was granted in that Meditation Room. So was mine.


2.Old Saint Mary's Cathedral

Located at 660 California Street, this is the old  Cathedral of Saint Mary of the Immaculate Conception is a proto-cathedral. The cathedral is located on the corner of Grant Avenue and California Street. The church is named for Mary, the Mother of Jesus, under the title of the Immaculate Conception
3.St Patricks Church

Located at 756 Mission Street, I consider this as Quiapo Church of San Francisco because of the so many Filipinos going to this church. It is a walking distance from homes of retired and old Filipinos who often congregate in Powell and Market Street. So far, this is the only church in San Francisco that has a Tagalog mass during Sundays. I do not know if they still serve free breakfast.

Betrayal

 Dear insansapinas,
Today is Holy Week. We commemorate the Passion of Jesus Christ and remember His betrayal by a friend, an apostle and a follower. Let me repost this:

She is beautiful and smart. Except for occasional blurts due to clients' unreasonable demand for attention in that small law office, she appeared to be normal. The pay was not that high  but she was given other amenities such as lodging accommodation and flexible hours. She wanted to augment her income so she enrolled and finished her two- month course in caregiving.


Soon, she was working part time as caregiver during the evening and as a secretary during the day.
It was in the facility for old people when her disorder was observed. She would talk to herself  relentlessly .
It worsened when she had a spat with a fellow worker. Her eyes were full of hate as she screamed when the guards tried to pacify her. No one could touch her. She was transformed into an animal fighting her predators.


Her employers, a kind couple committed her to a hospital for proper medication. She recovered and went back to her daily routine as a secretary after a few months.  No more extra work for her. Less stress.


It did not end there. She went home to the Philippines to visit the ailing father. Then she learned the truth. A dying man would not bring the secret to his grave. She was not their daughter. She was their granddaughter. Her mother is her ?sister? who begot her when she was fifteen. All those years, they bonded as sisters but when she got married, the illegitimate daughter was left alone with the uncanny feeling that somehow, something is wrong with her life, with their lives, with her family. She became a rebel and at a tender age, she too was involved with a married man. They planned to make their relationship legal.  He has to get a divorce that was not allowed in the Philippines. So off they went to the United States. He got a divorce but could not marry her if they wished to legitimize their residence. He married a US citizen. She too should get married. Then they are going to divorce their respective spouses once they got the greencards. That was the plan.


Then the unexpected thing happened. The man decided to stick to the Citizen wife. The woman married a good for nothing bum who abused her whenever he got a chance. Aside from physical abuse, she was constantly threatened to be deported. He claimed he could easily tell the authority that the marriage was a fraud.


The toll of years' abuse did not manifest until she had the guts to leave him when she became a permanent resident. She relocated to a state where the husband cannot  reach her. But her boy was left under the care of her in-laws. Her separation  from her boy did a lot more harm to her emotionally.


Upon her return to the Philippines, the tell tale signs that she was back to her old self became more evident.
No amount of medication can save her. Now she lives in a world that she made up for her own. May be it is a lot saner than the insane real world that she came to know since she reached the age of reason.

The Stress and the Dishwashing

Dear insansapinas,

How many of us can live out parts of our personality and what parts are we suppressing ?


The crucial shift in the  inner part which consists of our values, goals and aspirations can throw us off balance signaling the need to change and move on to the next stage of life.


The life of an adult is not easy as it undergoes the stages of development. With each stage, some magic must be given up, some cherished illusions must be cast off  for what is right in one stage may be restrictive for growth in the next.


There is no one right chair. As we outgrow one, we should be willing to change that is more compatible to us. In between changes, an individual has to stand up. Some manage to stand straight without wobbling. Some wobble but manage to stand straight again. It is these disruptions or crisis that make individuals
Grow and Develop.


You may be wondering where pinay is as if you care. (drama pa)


She is stressed for being sleepless because she stopped using the painkillers which make her stay in bed the whole day (almost). 

Chicken Sitting, No Kidding

Dear insansapinas,

Having pets at home is a problem especially if you are a single, hard working guy or gal who may not have enough time for the care, grooming and feeding of the animals but needs the company of an animal when you get home. As if working in an office with gorillas, crocs and snakes are not enough. So a job was born out of necessity-dog walking, cat feeding-brushing the animals
 teeth and now TADA TADA.  Chicken sitting. No S#it. Dog walking in most cities and towns across the country, became in demand that it is not difficult to find someone who will, for a certain price, walk your dog, brush your cat, feed your fish, and pet your rabbit while you're away at work or on vacation.


For chicken sitting, starting at $20 a day, a pet sitter will do these menu of services: clean coops, put out food and water, and collect eggs.

Profiler

Dear insansapinas,

CSI is no longer my favorite. It is now Criminal Minds. I want to become a profiler or an expert behavior analyst when I grow up. Kasi 5'2" lang po akoh.


My PTS yesterday was finished more than an hour earlier so I sat outside  the hospital's patient entrance to wait for my ride.


While waiting, I was also reading the novel Coffin Dancer where Lincoln Rhymes, the criminalist was reviewing the profile of the assassin. I decided to put myself in the shoes of Rhymes. Oops, I forgot, Rhymes is supposed to be quadriplegic.  I thought it was fun to profile the people who were coming and going the hospital.


First Unsub (Unknown Subject)-Old Sick Man
Male, Caucasian, age may be late 70's; was sitting in a wheelchair; hunched from the shoulders that the chin almost touched the chest; sick; weak and must be convalescing; checking out.


A man driving the old man's car got off from the driver's seat. Pushed the wheelchair to the left side of the car. The man must be a relative or a friend of the old man driving for him. He helped the old man
stand up. Someone got by and shielded the view from where I sat. The wheelchair was wheeled back by the man who drove the car. Where was the old man? Could not find him. 


The car started to move. The man I profiled to be sick and old was driving the car. 


Toinkkk. Ay mali. FAIL.


Second unsub- Daughter ?
Female, Caucasian, must be late 20's; wearing blue jeans and tight fitting blouse top and cashmere jacket.
Pushing the wheelchair of a man who's going to Cancer Center. Wife leading the two. The young lady failed to put the feet of the old man to the footrests of the wheelchair. When they stopped, she did not lock the wheelchair so it would not roll. Must be naive of the caregiver's practices of assisting patients on wheelchair.
Must be the daughter who was assisting the father and was emotionally affected by the father's condition.

The Mystery of Afterlife

Dear insansapinas,

I decided to watch Criminal Minds instead of the Oscars. Anyway I know who's going to win and I just am bored listening to their thank you speeches. Kulang na lang pasalamatan pati aso nila. But even before both
shows were finished, I was already in the Lalaland dreaming about school. Then I woke up, went to the bathroom with eyes half-open; returned to bed and continued dreaming about school. Weird. Did I wake up at all? Will it be my unfinished business? This has been my recurring dream for months now.


In the recent CSI episode, a man who was pronounced dead and was about to have the "Y" incision walked out of the morgue. He was found dead again in the decompression chamber. A blatant force and drowning sent him back to the land of the dead--for good. Obviously he was murdered. Investigations turned out that  three students of a professor who was expelled because of the theory he was working on were experimenting on temporary dying to know what is there in the afterlife. With the use of some chemicals, their bodies died, their souls departed but they had to come back before the bodies become corrupted. In short they turned into zombies. The female in the group claimed that she was successful to get "there" and come back. She saw her dead mother.  Methinks, there is no need for all those states- altering just to see a ghost. Huh.


The mystery they want to solve is afterlife. Is it a pit of fire for sinners like the murderers? If there is no hell what happens to those evil tyrants who murdered thousands if not millions of people ? What about the serial killers, the rapists ?  What about the corrupt? What about the politicians? ooooopsss. 

Stress

Dear insansapinas,

Cancer feeds on stress.  Making choices or making decisions causes a lot of stress.  I am under stress right now. Tell me what to do. Shall I watch the Oscars or Criminal Minds? Babaw ko. toinkkk


Pinaysaamerika

Rain, rain go away

Dear insansapinas,

I learn a lot from Criminal Minds about analysing human behavior, mine included. Sometimes we adopt a habit because of an experience that was traumatic or embarrasing which were beyond our control.
Let me esssplain.


It was raining yesterday. I was looking down at the wet green grass and the cascading water at the walkway when I remembered the answer to my brother's question. "Why do you bring so much cash?" OO nga naman.  Here, where plastic is the medium of exchange, it is rare that you will find somebody with so much green bucks in his/her wallet. Kasalukuyan kasi akong iniinventory ng admitting nurse kung anong dala ko at may bundles of cash akong dala. Buti nga di ko pa dala ang aking cash box. toinkk. 


Yes, Virginia, OC as I am, I have folded currency in different denominations in my pocket, aside from the loose changes of singles and fives tucked in between receipts.


So what has rain to do with this habit of mine?


It was rainy day in San Francisco then. I always brought with me a pair of walking shoes (you would if you're working in the downtown area where you got to walk several blocks everyday. My walking shoes was not the cheap type, in fact I bought them from a high end store in the Union Square. Sale nga lang.
mwehehe


That day, it was raining, kittens and puppies and I had to go to the bank. Hindi naman bumabaha sa San Fran pero minsan clogged din ang drainage kaya nag-aaccumalate ang tubig sa gutter at sidewalk.
Yes, Virginia, kulang na lang kumanta ako ng Singing in the Rain kaya lang di ko alam habang pinalalangoy ko ang aking sapatos sa baha. Ewww. 


Malapit na ako sa bangko nang maramdaman kong, para yatang naglalakad ako ng barefoot sa aking kanang  paa.  Huh huh huh (hyperventilate) yong aking takong natanggal. Hanap ako ng pinakamalapit na shoe store. Meron naman. Balak kong bumili ng kahit pinakamurang sapatos. Pili-pili. Nakakuha ako. Pagdukot ko sa aking bulsa, huh huh huh (hyperventilate) nagpalit pala ako ng outer jacket kasi hindi water proof yong isa. Wala yong aking credit card, wala yong aking pitaka. Ang mga naroon lang ay yong mga loose changes. Nang binilang ko, short ako ng 3 dollars. Wuah. Sabi ko doon sa sales associate, utang, ibabalik ko. Ayaw, kasi MO na pala yon doon. Sus. Napaghinalaan pa akong scammer.

Mga Kuwentong Bus

Dear insansapinas,

Sensiya na kayo di ako makatulog. Napanood ko na ang Jeopardy. Siyempre panalo si Watson. Nakikikumpetensiya rin ako kaya lang wala akong buzzer. Toot toooot toooot. 


Napanood ko na rin ang Criminal Minds, at isa pang version Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior. Bakit pinaghati pa eh pareho lang naman. Eniwey. Naalala ko ang mga kuwento na naganap sa bus diyan sa Pinas at dito sa USA.

Bus dito sa USA

Bagong salta lang ako. Sumakay ako ng bus doon sa sinabing bus stop. Ito namang nagsabi sa akin, hindi sinabi na kailangan kong lumipat. So hinto ang bus, sakay ako. Mga ilang minuto, pumarada ito sa may park. Bumaba ang driver. Sa isip ko baka, may memay-i-go out. Tagal.
Baka sira tiyan. May dumating na isa pang bus. Ganoon din ang ginawa. 


Umakyat ang driver. Tinanong ako kung saan ako pupunta. Susme, nakalimutan ba niyang sakay niya ako. Sabi niya sa akin. This is the bus depot lady. Where you're going? Yon pala ang nasakyan ko ay yong gagarahe muna tapos iikot na naman. Tiningnan ko ang mukha ko sa salamin. Mukha ngang tanga.

Bus pa rin sa USA

Dito sa US, maraming mga bus transfer kaya nga sa San Fran, huwag mong iwawala ang bus ticket (baka maraffle , hehehe) kasi may apat na oras kang pwedeng gamitin iyon sa iba ibang bus. Sa San Fran lang naman. Sa ibang cities na nakapaligid ay walang ganoong privilege.


Kaya kailangan planado ang iyong pagsakay para hindi mo mamiss ang bus connection. Bagong salta pa rin ako sa US. Kalilipat ko lang ng tinitirhan. Minap ko ang travel ko papuntang trabaho. Kailangang bumaba ako sa isang lugar at kunin naman doon ang isa pang bus.


Hige.


Baba ako sa unang bus. Kailangan pala tumawid ako para sumakay sa susunod na bus. Ang haba ng kalsada. May island pero makitid. 


Tamang tama nakita ko yong bus. Red light sila. Huminto ang bus. Tumakbo ako sa island muna. Alam ninyo may number of minutes dito pag maggreen light na. 10, 9, 8. Nag-isip ako kung tatawid na ako kung hihintayin ko ang susunod na red light. Pero mamimiss ko ang bus. So para akong nakikicompete sa running event, takbo ako. Syempre, pandak ako di, maiiksi rin ang aking legs. Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng road ng biglang magred light.  Biglang haribasan ang mga sasakyan.Ah ah ah, masasagasaan ako. Gahibla ng buhok ang abot noong kotse sa akin na nagbigay sa akin ng dirty finger. hahaha.


Tiningnan ko ang bus. Nakasara na ang pinto. Pag nakasara na, hindi ka na puwedeng kumatok. Toinkk.
Sabi ng kaibigan ko, nagmamadali nga ako, mamamatay naman ako. Tseh.


Pero alam ninyo bang hindi ako na late kahit minsan sa trabaho ko. Kaya isang araw na nasira ang sinakyan ko, at wala pa ako sa trabaho, nag-alala sila. 


Bus PaBicol
Every weekend noon ay umuwi ako sa Bicol para sa isang project.
Direct from the office o school, sumasakay ako ng airconditioned bus papuntang Daet ng mga alas diyes ng gabi. Makakarating ako madaling araw. Natutulog ako sa bus dahil sa pagod ko. May kasama naman akong isa. Hindi kami magkatabi dahil lalaki. Sa may pintuan siya naupo. Isa pa masamang ugali noon. Kakain sa mga stopover, ni hindi ka man lang alukin kong magpapabili. Parang wala siyang kasama. 


Pagising-gising ako pero bandang Quezon ay nakatulog ako. Nagising ako na nagtataka bakit yata ang haba ng biyahe namin. Tinanong ko ang conductor. Susme, nakalampas na pala kami sa Daet, huminto pa nga sa bus station, tapos papunta na kaming Naga. 
Ang kasama ko hindi man lang ako ginising. Lagot siya sa akin. Pagdating sa sunod na istasyon, naghintay ako napabalik sa Daet.
 Muntik nang malumpo yong kasama ko sa pagbubugbog ko. (Fantasia ko lang).


Kadena sa pitaka
Lolo noong aking kaibigan Nadukutan sa Cubao sa loob ng bus. Bababa na sana yong pickpocket nang maramdaman niyang may humila sa pitaka. May kadena palang maliit yong pitaka ng matanda. Totoo po yan. Kahit lumubog kayo sa inyong upuan.Whoops.Huwag mong isnabin, milyonaryo yon. May-ari ng dalawang iskuwela sa Bicol at malaking lupain.

MRI - There is a man in my closet

Dear insansapinas,
Personal:

photocredit: http://www.ecrc-pt.com/?sec=news&id=24

Anyone who has had an MRI knows the tight feeling of the tube and the sound of the magnet can create a unique, and often disturbing experience. People who are not typically claustrophobic have difficulty completing the test [one recommendation is to ALWAYS keep your eyes closed]. Each scan can cost thousands of dollars.

One reason the MRI tube is so narrow is that the radio frequency coils that produce the magnetic waves for the scan must be very close to the person being scanned.

Appointment ko sa ospital para sa aking MRI. Maaga akong dumating pero nakalimutan pala noong isang ospital na ipadala ang specific instruction kung ano ang hahanapin sa aking lamang loob. Kahit na alam nilang may mga impaktita at impaktitong nakikitira sa aking liver, kailangan pa rin for documentation  purposes kung saan ifofocus ang imaging.


Malapit ko nang makita yong bahay na Steve Wynn (yong Vegas casino mogul) sa binabasa kong Architectural Digest nang tawagin na ako para pumunta sa Nuclear Department. Parang gusto kong sumakay ng spaceship. Toinkkk.


Idineretsa ako ng radiology tech sa closet kung saan, huhubarin ko ang aking mga suot-suot, pati salamin, susi at iba pa at itatago ko sa closet na may susi. Pinabitbit sa akin ang susi. Pasok na kami sa Nuclear area. May mga ilaw sa pinto na para bang decoration ; huwag ka laser yon. Iingay yon pag may dalang metal at iba pang hindi allowed sa areang yon.


Tapos tinusok na naman ako para lagyan ng contrast. Ikinabit sa isang IV pole, tinakpan  ang ibang bahagi ng kaawan at nilagyan ng earphone na feeling ko ako ay nagrerecording. Doon ako binibigyan ng instruction. Do Not Breathe. Breathe, tapos mararamdaman mo na parang minamachine-gun ng maliliit na dwende ang isang parte ng katawan mo. Hindi kagaya noong una, binigyan ako ng break noong radiology tech para makapahinga. Ito, tuloy-tuloy. Panay pa ang instructions. Hindi ako makagalaw dahil aside from tinali ang aking kamay, ang sikip pa ng MRI. Tapos may lull. Parang walang sound. Hello, Anybody home? Naalala ko tuloy yong balita noon na yong babae naiwanan sa MRI noong radio tech. Kasi noon pwede ka pang matulog. Kaya buti rin itong radio tech ko panay bulong sa earphone, hindi tuloy ako makatulog.
Pero wala ng tunog. Wala na yong background music sa earphone pag hindi nagsasalita yong babae.


Gusto ko nang umihi. (kaya pala hindi ka paiinumin 4 hours before) pero alam ko walang lalabas. Gusto ko ring mag fart (Alam ninyo na yong Farting is a sweet sorrow ,,,yada....yada. Pero, pinigil ko. Baka ako masuffocate at baka sabihin ng babae na what's that smell pag inilabas na niya ako sa "oven". Hay salamat, natapos din.


Habang hihintayin ko ag disc, dinala niya ulit ako sa closet para magbihis. Pero talagang gusto ko nang pumasok sa restroom so nilampasan ko ang closet at pasok ako sa restroom. Haaaaa , what a relief.

Ghost

Dear insansapinas,

I want to watch the latest movie of Matt Damon, Hereafter. He portrayed the character of a reluctant person with gift of communicating with the spirit. Ahem.


These days, my world is upside down. I am awake almost the whole night (thus I can read novels again) and sleepy the whole day.


Last night, I fell asleep while reading, just for 45 minutes. I dreamed of my friend who died of prostate cancer. He was the one I had a pact with that if any one of us dies, the deceased will visit the living one. That was after we watched the movie GHOST starring Whoopee Goldberg, the late Patrick Swayze who died of cancer in 2009 and Demi Moore.


He made good his promise which I blogged under paranormal stories. In my dream last night, he visited me. He was eating and he asked for more. I gave him fish.


This morning, I chanced to click a channel where the movie GHOST was being shown. I fell sleepy while watching. Before I can snooze, I felt the chest pain. Should I call 911? Naah. Kung mamatay, mamatay.