Dear insansapinas,
Pagganito naman talaga kakulit ang bata, kahit ako, sasabunutan ko sarili ko.
Pinaysaamerika
Showing posts with label Pinay Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pinay Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Sumuko na kayo
Dear insansapinas,
Naalala ko pa noong kami ay maliliit na tsikiting gubat pa at hindi pa uso ang mga laruang mga AK47, machine gun at mga iba pang baril. May giyera-giyerahan, baril-barilan. Naalala ko ang mga babaeng naghihingutuhan sa hagdan. Muntik nang mahulog sa katatawa nang makitang bumabaril ang kuya ko at may hawak na siit lang ng puno ng kahoy. Ito ang version daw ng Bourne Again. Panoorin ninyo.
via Marc logan
Siyempre ako ang bida. Hawak ko yata ay kung hindi walis ay ang suklay kong may mahabang tangkay.
Pinaysaamerika
Naalala ko pa noong kami ay maliliit na tsikiting gubat pa at hindi pa uso ang mga laruang mga AK47, machine gun at mga iba pang baril. May giyera-giyerahan, baril-barilan. Naalala ko ang mga babaeng naghihingutuhan sa hagdan. Muntik nang mahulog sa katatawa nang makitang bumabaril ang kuya ko at may hawak na siit lang ng puno ng kahoy. Ito ang version daw ng Bourne Again. Panoorin ninyo.
via Marc logan
Siyempre ako ang bida. Hawak ko yata ay kung hindi walis ay ang suklay kong may mahabang tangkay.
Pinaysaamerika
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Red
Dear insansapinas,
Today, I went to my appointment. Without asking for my name, the medical receptionist asked me to sit down to wait for the call of the doctor. Normally in a doctor's office, the patient is made to sign a paper where it is indicated who is the doctor to see, what time is the appointment and time of arrival. Doubtful, whether my health records have been retrieved from the filing cabinet for reference by the doctor, I approached the receptionist. She told me that the doctor is going to call me in a few minutes. She mentioned my name. Wow, galing ng memory niya. That was the third visit only and she did not have ask for my name. Is it because, I am makulit? Is it because I have done something which reminded her of me. Then I took a look at my outerwear. RED and it was the same outerwear I have been wearing since I visited the clinic. Some patients do not use outerwear; just plain jacket or sweater.
So I am back to my childhood two-dresses-phase. That is the phase of development when you have a favorite clothes that you want to wear again and again. My mother used to scold me for asking her to wash that favorite clothes of mine so I could wear it again. Sabi niya, para raw wala na akong ibang damit. Tatantanan ko lang pagpatung-patong na ang sulsi.
Then I came to the phase when it took me hours and a lot of sweat to choose what to wear amid the bursting closet of clothes. Wala akong masuot. Wag ka, ayaw ko lang ulitin ang nasuot ko na.
Present time
I've got the following for my outerwears and jackets during winter and yet, I end up wearing a hooded red outerwear. Para akong si Little Red Riding Hood. mwhehehe,
1. leather jacket - Ang bigat. Parang pasan ko ang isang baka. Kulang na lang itong umunga,
2. Reversible outerwear - When I am wearing it with the tiger prints out, parang may tigreng nakayakap sa akin. Pag iyong itim naman ang nakalabas, para namang may black panther na nakasakay sa aking balikat. Pag suot ko yon, mukha akong model na napabayaan sa kusina. BURP..
3, Snakeskin Jacket- This is also a favorite of mine, Pag suot ko ito maraming bumabati, Ang problema, tinutusok ako at chinicheck kong totoo ngang balat ng ahas. Ano ako, nababaliw? Para naman akong nilulon ng sawa, Kaya lang hindi masyadong protection sa lamig,
Today, I went to my appointment. Without asking for my name, the medical receptionist asked me to sit down to wait for the call of the doctor. Normally in a doctor's office, the patient is made to sign a paper where it is indicated who is the doctor to see, what time is the appointment and time of arrival. Doubtful, whether my health records have been retrieved from the filing cabinet for reference by the doctor, I approached the receptionist. She told me that the doctor is going to call me in a few minutes. She mentioned my name. Wow, galing ng memory niya. That was the third visit only and she did not have ask for my name. Is it because, I am makulit? Is it because I have done something which reminded her of me. Then I took a look at my outerwear. RED and it was the same outerwear I have been wearing since I visited the clinic. Some patients do not use outerwear; just plain jacket or sweater.
So I am back to my childhood two-dresses-phase. That is the phase of development when you have a favorite clothes that you want to wear again and again. My mother used to scold me for asking her to wash that favorite clothes of mine so I could wear it again. Sabi niya, para raw wala na akong ibang damit. Tatantanan ko lang pagpatung-patong na ang sulsi.
Then I came to the phase when it took me hours and a lot of sweat to choose what to wear amid the bursting closet of clothes. Wala akong masuot. Wag ka, ayaw ko lang ulitin ang nasuot ko na.
Present time
I've got the following for my outerwears and jackets during winter and yet, I end up wearing a hooded red outerwear. Para akong si Little Red Riding Hood. mwhehehe,
1. leather jacket - Ang bigat. Parang pasan ko ang isang baka. Kulang na lang itong umunga,
2. Reversible outerwear - When I am wearing it with the tiger prints out, parang may tigreng nakayakap sa akin. Pag iyong itim naman ang nakalabas, para namang may black panther na nakasakay sa aking balikat. Pag suot ko yon, mukha akong model na napabayaan sa kusina. BURP..
3, Snakeskin Jacket- This is also a favorite of mine, Pag suot ko ito maraming bumabati, Ang problema, tinutusok ako at chinicheck kong totoo ngang balat ng ahas. Ano ako, nababaliw? Para naman akong nilulon ng sawa, Kaya lang hindi masyadong protection sa lamig,
Monday, December 12, 2011
Got Names ?
Dear insansapinas,
I am not aware that there are names for things, events and conditions that are hardly used at all.
source: buzzfeed
When I was young and feeling "holy" (that was the time I was thinking of entering a convent. hahaha and my eldest brother had the unbelieving look and said...magugulo ang mga madre), I used to go to church early in the morning. By the time the mass was over and I was walking home, I saw this CREPISCULAR RAYS. What's that again?
That is the name of the rays of sunlight coming from a certain point in the sky. Di ba awesome?
2. When I was still among those waking up early morning to go to work, there were times or almost every day especially during winter, I found it difficult to get up . Gusto ko pang matulog. Gusto kong magbalot sa comforter. Di sana naghihilik pa ako. Di sana, ang sarap pa ng tulog ko. The name of this state of finding it hard to get out of bed is DYSANIA.
3. My mother used to tell me that in order to know an elemental that assumed a human image, look at the part of the face between the noise and the mouth. If there is no groove, it means that it is not human. Ngiii.
Paano kung sinisipon? The name of the groove is...PHILTRUM.
4. When you sit too long or whatever you're doing without moving for a long time, there are times when it seems there are needles and pins that pricked your skin. A part of that body feels asleep. This is known as OBDORMITION. The needles and pins are called PARESTHESIA.
I am not aware that there are names for things, events and conditions that are hardly used at all.
source: buzzfeed
When I was young and feeling "holy" (that was the time I was thinking of entering a convent. hahaha and my eldest brother had the unbelieving look and said...magugulo ang mga madre), I used to go to church early in the morning. By the time the mass was over and I was walking home, I saw this CREPISCULAR RAYS. What's that again?
That is the name of the rays of sunlight coming from a certain point in the sky. Di ba awesome?
2. When I was still among those waking up early morning to go to work, there were times or almost every day especially during winter, I found it difficult to get up . Gusto ko pang matulog. Gusto kong magbalot sa comforter. Di sana naghihilik pa ako. Di sana, ang sarap pa ng tulog ko. The name of this state of finding it hard to get out of bed is DYSANIA.
3. My mother used to tell me that in order to know an elemental that assumed a human image, look at the part of the face between the noise and the mouth. If there is no groove, it means that it is not human. Ngiii.
Paano kung sinisipon? The name of the groove is...PHILTRUM.
4. When you sit too long or whatever you're doing without moving for a long time, there are times when it seems there are needles and pins that pricked your skin. A part of that body feels asleep. This is known as OBDORMITION. The needles and pins are called PARESTHESIA.
Friday, December 09, 2011
The Modern Noah's Ark
Dear insansapinas,
The film 2012 was a 2009 American diaster movie which referenced to Mayanism, Mesoamerican Long Cout and the 2012 phenomenon--the end of the world.
So the scientists prepared for the end by building arks to save humanity. At least some. Unlike Noah, the people behind the project were not ridiculed.
The original plan was to choose 400,000 people only but in the last minute (siyempre suspense) those who were outside the arks and were refused to board were accommodated. So what if the arks were over to its capacity. So what if the resources were not enough.
But wait, because I was watching the movie while talking to a friend over the phone, I did not notice if there were Filipinos on board.
They must have been refused. They may have brought with them balikbayan box. Hindi lang isa, baka dalawa.
At the end of the movie when the water receded, the people noted that they were in the South Africa the only continents that remained above sea level.
The film 2012 was a 2009 American diaster movie which referenced to Mayanism, Mesoamerican Long Cout and the 2012 phenomenon--the end of the world.
So the scientists prepared for the end by building arks to save humanity. At least some. Unlike Noah, the people behind the project were not ridiculed.
The original plan was to choose 400,000 people only but in the last minute (siyempre suspense) those who were outside the arks and were refused to board were accommodated. So what if the arks were over to its capacity. So what if the resources were not enough.
But wait, because I was watching the movie while talking to a friend over the phone, I did not notice if there were Filipinos on board.
They must have been refused. They may have brought with them balikbayan box. Hindi lang isa, baka dalawa.
At the end of the movie when the water receded, the people noted that they were in the South Africa the only continents that remained above sea level.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Great Ad
Dear insansapinas,
Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.
forwarded by brother.
Pinaysaamerika
Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.
forwarded by brother.
Pinaysaamerika
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Bangungot
Dear insansapinas,
Tom Cruise
Kagabi, binangungot ako. Napanaginipan ko, asawa ko raw si Tom Cruise. ahem. Bakit bangungot? Eh ako yong ibinitin niya doon sa paghack niya sa computer sa CIA. Must be because of the Dancing with the Stars contestants who used Mission Impossible music scoring para sa dance nila. Eliminated naman. Tan tan tan tan.
Babaeng nawawala sa sarili
Lumipad si KC Concepcion sa Europe para hanapin ang sarili. Siya ang babaeng nawawala sa sarili. Ako rin. Kasi naman directionally-challenged ako. Huwag kayong magtrust pag nagbigay ako ng direction. Tiyak wala kayo.
Pati naman GPS namin ganoon din. Madalas kasi mahulog mula sa dashboard. TOINKKK.
For Charity
Sa bagong series na Two Broke Girls, isa sa mga girl ay mayaman na naghirap dahil ang kaniyang ama ay nakulong sa paggamit ng ponzi scheme. Wala na siyang masuot na sapatos at damit kaya dinala siya ng karoommate niya sa Goodwill (thrift store for charity purpose). Doon nakita niya ang kaniyang stilleto shoes na worth 800 dollars na ipinagbibili na lang ng $ 8 dollars. Yon daw ay dinonate niya for charity.
Sa Pilipinas. Maraming nakitang gowns at mga stilleto shoes na dinonate ng mga celebrities sa biktima ng bagyo. Anong gusto nila magfashion show ang mga biktima? Ginawa pang trash bin ng kanilang outdated na mga damit ang mga taong sinalanta. TSEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Tom Cruise
Kagabi, binangungot ako. Napanaginipan ko, asawa ko raw si Tom Cruise. ahem. Bakit bangungot? Eh ako yong ibinitin niya doon sa paghack niya sa computer sa CIA. Must be because of the Dancing with the Stars contestants who used Mission Impossible music scoring para sa dance nila. Eliminated naman. Tan tan tan tan.
Babaeng nawawala sa sarili
Lumipad si KC Concepcion sa Europe para hanapin ang sarili. Siya ang babaeng nawawala sa sarili. Ako rin. Kasi naman directionally-challenged ako. Huwag kayong magtrust pag nagbigay ako ng direction. Tiyak wala kayo.
Pati naman GPS namin ganoon din. Madalas kasi mahulog mula sa dashboard. TOINKKK.
For Charity
Sa bagong series na Two Broke Girls, isa sa mga girl ay mayaman na naghirap dahil ang kaniyang ama ay nakulong sa paggamit ng ponzi scheme. Wala na siyang masuot na sapatos at damit kaya dinala siya ng karoommate niya sa Goodwill (thrift store for charity purpose). Doon nakita niya ang kaniyang stilleto shoes na worth 800 dollars na ipinagbibili na lang ng $ 8 dollars. Yon daw ay dinonate niya for charity.
Sa Pilipinas. Maraming nakitang gowns at mga stilleto shoes na dinonate ng mga celebrities sa biktima ng bagyo. Anong gusto nila magfashion show ang mga biktima? Ginawa pang trash bin ng kanilang outdated na mga damit ang mga taong sinalanta. TSEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Pinoy Humor
Dear insansapinas,
One of the reasons why Filipinos can weather bad weather, natural and man-made disasters and incompetent government leaders is because of our unique sense of humor. At slightest provocation, even the serious and formal discussions are interrupted by humorous statements. Many jokes are made into funny punchlines. These jokes are not meant to embarrass some people but merely to elicit laughter. Sometimes with a tinge of sarcasm.
Take for instance the photoshopped photos. The three officials have gone a long way. I reproduced only three pics. You can see more here.
Like the house at the background, they are also submerged in the water.
At the Rizal monument...
and at the parting of the sea...
It seems it is not only the suspended over-eager photographer who knows how to photoshop. There are other eager-beavers too.
I did this when I was masquerading as a cat. It was not photoshopped. I used a software that is simpler to use.
Pinaysaamerika
One of the reasons why Filipinos can weather bad weather, natural and man-made disasters and incompetent government leaders is because of our unique sense of humor. At slightest provocation, even the serious and formal discussions are interrupted by humorous statements. Many jokes are made into funny punchlines. These jokes are not meant to embarrass some people but merely to elicit laughter. Sometimes with a tinge of sarcasm.
Take for instance the photoshopped photos. The three officials have gone a long way. I reproduced only three pics. You can see more here.
Like the house at the background, they are also submerged in the water.
and at the parting of the sea...
I did this when I was masquerading as a cat. It was not photoshopped. I used a software that is simpler to use.
Pinaysaamerika
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Best and Funny Responses to the Q&A of Beauty Pageants
Dear insansapinas,
Did you ever wonder what were the responses of candidates to the beauty pageants?
I found this article that I would like to share with you.
Did you ever wonder what were the responses of candidates to the beauty pageants?
I found this article that I would like to share with you.
MARGIE MORAN was our 1973 Miss Universe. She was asked this question, "What’s the difference between being Miss Universe and being a Filipina?" Her reply: "Being Miss Universe is like having a birthstone, you may lose it. Being a Filipina is like having a birthmark, its forever."
CHARLENE GONZALES was asked during the 1994 Miss Universe Contest: "How many islands are there in the Philippines?" Her reply: "High tide or low tide?"
RUFFA GUTIERREZ at the1993 Miss World Contest: "How would you tell a girl who’s suffering from low self-esteem to feel better about herself? "Her reply: "I’ll tell her to believe in herself because it’s not only physical beauty that’s important but also inner beauty. Like what the Little Prince said, "What is essential is invisible to the naked eye." And I believe that character and personality are more important than physical beauty."
MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ at the Bb. Pilipinas Pageant was asked by one of the judges, Rita Gomez:
RITA: Here’s your question, hija: Are you still a virgin?
MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?
RITA: Good answer!
MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma’am, are you still a virgin?
RITA: Hija, I have 5 children with 5 different fathers, and what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???
Funny Answers that may be due to nervousness, stage fright or just plain stupidity:
MR. POGI CONTEST:
SHE’S GOT THE LOOK BEAUTY CONTEST:
SUPER SIREYNA CONTEST:
Pinaysaamerika: Paano kung ulila na yong kaaway. Kuko pwedeng patayin? Mamartilyo nga ang paa nito,
CALENDAR GIRL BEAUTY CONTEST:
Pinaysaamerika: Pakidala`nga ito sa Banaue. Pagdating doon pakitulak bigla. Phulease lang.
MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTEST :
LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST:
Pinaysaamerika:Yun na.
Funny Answers that may be due to nervousness, stage fright or just plain stupidity:
MR. POGI CONTEST:
Host: Ano sa mukha mo ang pinaka-asset mo?
Contestant: Sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali! Mabait kasi ako eh.Pinaysaamerika: HANUBAYAN. ANG ASSET KO SA MUKHA KO AY ANG AKING MOUTH. KASI DIYAN DUMADAAN ANG PAGKAIN PAPUNTA SA AKING STOMEK AT DIYAN LUMALALABAS ANG MGA !@#$%^ PAG AKO TINUTUPEK SA GANITONG MG SAGOT.
SHE’S GOT THE LOOK BEAUTY CONTEST:
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am (insert the name) I come from the beautiful city of Pangasinan City!SHE’S GOT THE LOOK BEAUTY CONTEST:
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am (insert the name here) , I come from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine!Pinaysaamerika: O eto and medicine cabinet, mamili ka na. Tseh.
SUPER SIREYNA CONTEST:
Host: anong masasabi mo sa death penalty?
Contestant: Ah, ano po yun di toot por toot, eye por eye. (Ah, it’s di toot por toot, eye por eye.) * [the proverb a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye]
Host: Paki-eksplika nga?
Contestant: Ganito po yun: kung pinatay mo ang nanay ko, dapat, patayin ko din ang nanay mo!
Pinaysaamerika: Paano kung ulila na yong kaaway. Kuko pwedeng patayin? Mamartilyo nga ang paa nito,
CALENDAR GIRL BEAUTY CONTEST:
Host: What place in the Philippines would you boast about?
Calendar girl contestant: Bocaue
Host: (Intrigued) What about Bocaue? What’s in it to boast about?
Calendar girl contestant: Why, the Bocaue rice terraces of course! (She meant the famous Banaue Rice Terraces, the "8th" Wonder of the World), and btw, I grew up in Bocaue when I was young.
Pinaysaamerika: Pakidala`nga ito sa Banaue. Pagdating doon pakitulak bigla. Phulease lang.
MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTEST :
"Magandang Tanghali po, ako po si (insert name here ) mula sa Camarines Sur, sumalangit na po ang inyong mga kaluluwa!"Pinaysaamerika:Ngiii
LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST:
Host: Anong gusto mo paglaki mo?
Contestant: Maging lalaki po.
Pinaysaamerika:Yun na.
MISS GAY TOURISM CONTEST:
Host: If a man from Mars landed on your backyard, what would you do to entertain him?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Day ako ay naging ISTATWA
Dear insansapinas,
Alas nuwebe y media ng umaga. Mainit ang araw. Nakatayo ako sa bus stop. May appointment ako sa doctor na nireschedule kaya lang hindi ko pwedeng reschedule ko ang aking ride. One day lang pagitan. So bus ako.
Alas nuwebe y media ng umaga. Mainit ang araw. Nakatayo ako sa bus stop. May appointment ako sa doctor na nireschedule kaya lang hindi ko pwedeng reschedule ko ang aking ride. One day lang pagitan. So bus ako.
Pero hindi ang appointment ko ang aking kuwento. Hindi rin ang bus. Kundi ang Araw na ako ay naging Istatwa,
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Communication
Dear insansapinas,
(reposted) Masakit ang aking daliri.Like I remember in a big hospital which has plenty of pinay nurses. on the 12th floor two American doctors got into the elevator, then on the 10th floor,three pinay nurses got in. standing infront of the
elevator, then the elevator opened on the 9th floor...then three pinay nurses standing outside the elevator asked the pinay nurses inside:BABABA BA? so the pinay inside the elevator replied
...BABABA. on the 7th floor the same thing happened..
the pinay nurses outside the elevator asked those inside..
BABABA BA? the same reply...BABABA. then on the 6th
floor all of the pinay nurses altogether walked out of the
elevator leaving the two American doctors inside. then
the two faced each other and one of them said:
GOD DAMM...THEY ALL TALKED LIKE SHEEPS AND
THEY UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER.
What these foreign doctors do not know is
that we do not have to emote or to make a lot of gestures
like they do in order to communicate...that a
one syllable- word can express a sentiment, an
affirmation or a rejection by merely repeating
it once or twice.
Here is a poem that Pinay composed to describe it.
Bababa ba ?
Thursday, June 23, 2011
At the end of the day
Dear insansapinas,
===============
Me: Hilew
Friend: Ano yan umiiyak ka? (Panay kasi ang shnghot ko).
Me: OO.
Friend: Bakit?
Me: Kasi namatay si Prentiss.
Friend: Kaibigan mo?
Me: Hindi.
Friend: Bakit ka umiiyak, sino ba siya?
Me: Hindi mo siya kilala? Siya yong isa sa mga behavior profiler sa Criminal Minds.
Friend: Ha? Suminghot din siya. Totoong patay o sa series lang.
Me: Sa Series lang. Finale kasi.
Friend: Padadalhan kita ng money order. Bumili ka ng kausap mo ha. Tseh.
TOINK TOINK TOINK
=========
War freak ang mga gobyerno ngayon. Noong isang Linggo, pinalutang nila ang relic na barko dahil sa issue ng Spratly.
Ngayon naman, nagdeklara sila ng giyera sa water hyacinths.
The gov't is going to indrease the oxygen level in the lakes to avoid fishkill. Don't be surprised if you see fish swimming with oxygen tanks. http://t.co/nlWIE6Y swish swish swish.
===============
Me: Hilew
Friend: Ano yan umiiyak ka? (Panay kasi ang shnghot ko).
Me: OO.
Friend: Bakit?
Me: Kasi namatay si Prentiss.
Friend: Kaibigan mo?
Me: Hindi.
Friend: Bakit ka umiiyak, sino ba siya?
Me: Hindi mo siya kilala? Siya yong isa sa mga behavior profiler sa Criminal Minds.
Friend: Ha? Suminghot din siya. Totoong patay o sa series lang.
Me: Sa Series lang. Finale kasi.
Friend: Padadalhan kita ng money order. Bumili ka ng kausap mo ha. Tseh.
TOINK TOINK TOINK
=========
War freak ang mga gobyerno ngayon. Noong isang Linggo, pinalutang nila ang relic na barko dahil sa issue ng Spratly.
Ngayon naman, nagdeklara sila ng giyera sa water hyacinths.
Aquino leads ‘war vs water hyacinths
Ano naman kaya ang palulutangin? O may mga nakalutang na. Ewww.
===========Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Kiko, Kiko, Kiko
Dear insansapinas,
Tawag namin dito Kiko. Pero ito, bang klaseng ventriloquism. Mapapaindak ka. Thank you bayi for the link. Enjoy.
Pinaysaamerika
Tawag namin dito Kiko. Pero ito, bang klaseng ventriloquism. Mapapaindak ka. Thank you bayi for the link. Enjoy.
Pinaysaamerika
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Yuck
Dear insansapinas,
Pagkatapos ng isang araw at isang gabing ayaw kong tumayo, nagising akong walang internet. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Tawag ako sa server namin. Malakas raw ang traffic sa lugar namin kaya walang internet access. Walang pulis? Hmmm if I know. Aga naman. Kasalukuyan pa lang pinapalabas sa TV ang pag-amin ni Weiner na hindi nahack ang kaniyang twitter account. Na nagsinungaling siya. Na siya ang nagpost ng retrato niyang hubad. Hindi pa naman siguro pinag-uusapan sa internet yon. Wala pang alas nuweve, so wala pa sa mga opisina.
Kung di ba naman sano, magpopost lang ng pic niya, nasa background pa yong retrato ng kaniyang pamilya at asawa. Arghhhh. Kongresista pa naman sa New York. Sana man lang sana Pogi. Buti na lang walang batang makakapakinig ng sinabi ko. Sheeeeeeet. Marami ba silang time para sa pakikipag IM sa mga babae?
Paborito kong expression ang S$%&*. Pakiramdam ko mas class kaysa Put#$%^&&&&& na paborito ng aking barkada noon. Nasa College na ako ng naging expression ko yon. Kung hindi pamumugin ako ng holy water ng mother ko at parerecitin ako ng Hail Mary habang nakaluhod sa munggo. Luto nga lang. Ewww.
Siyempre, nang magkatsikiting gubat ako ayaw ko rin silang magswear.
Isang taon ang tsikiting gubat kong babae ng pinapakain ko ng Gerber. Regalo ng ninong niya. Dalawang dosena. Tuwing susubuan ko siya ay napapikit ang kaniyang mata pero sige rin ang nguya ng kaniyang gilagid. Tinikman ko. Yuck. Bakit ko ba pinaparusahan ang aking TG kumain ng ganoon. Para rin daw yon sa kaniya. Tiningnan niya ako ng sinabi ko ang yuck. Sabi niya rin yuck. Tawa ako nang malakas. Ang aking TG, nadagdagan ang vocabulary.
Inabot ko ang mga diyaryo at in-between subo kay tiskiting, nagbabasa ako ng mga headlines. Tapos may nabasa akong balita. Syeeeet. sigaw ko. Ooops ubos na ang Gerber. Tumayo ako para kunin ang gatas sa ref habang binabasa ko ang balita. Syeet, syeet. syeeet.
Syeeet, Ooops, hindi ako nagsabi noon. Syeeet. Umulit ulit. Hinarap ko ang aking tsikiting gubat. Hinintay kong lumabas ang salita para malaman ko kung sa kaniya nga nanggaling. Syeeet. sigaw niya. Mas malakas. Hawak ko ang gatas. Hindi ko mailagay sa kaniyang bibig. Habang paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi ang Syeet ay para pa siyang kinikilig. ANONG GINAWA KO SA AKING TSIKITING GUBAT? TINURUAN KONG MAGMURA?
Pagkatapos ng isang araw at isang gabing ayaw kong tumayo, nagising akong walang internet. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Tawag ako sa server namin. Malakas raw ang traffic sa lugar namin kaya walang internet access. Walang pulis? Hmmm if I know. Aga naman. Kasalukuyan pa lang pinapalabas sa TV ang pag-amin ni Weiner na hindi nahack ang kaniyang twitter account. Na nagsinungaling siya. Na siya ang nagpost ng retrato niyang hubad. Hindi pa naman siguro pinag-uusapan sa internet yon. Wala pang alas nuweve, so wala pa sa mga opisina.
Kung di ba naman sano, magpopost lang ng pic niya, nasa background pa yong retrato ng kaniyang pamilya at asawa. Arghhhh. Kongresista pa naman sa New York. Sana man lang sana Pogi. Buti na lang walang batang makakapakinig ng sinabi ko. Sheeeeeeet. Marami ba silang time para sa pakikipag IM sa mga babae?
Paborito kong expression ang S$%&*. Pakiramdam ko mas class kaysa Put#$%^&&&&& na paborito ng aking barkada noon. Nasa College na ako ng naging expression ko yon. Kung hindi pamumugin ako ng holy water ng mother ko at parerecitin ako ng Hail Mary habang nakaluhod sa munggo. Luto nga lang. Ewww.
Siyempre, nang magkatsikiting gubat ako ayaw ko rin silang magswear.
Isang taon ang tsikiting gubat kong babae ng pinapakain ko ng Gerber. Regalo ng ninong niya. Dalawang dosena. Tuwing susubuan ko siya ay napapikit ang kaniyang mata pero sige rin ang nguya ng kaniyang gilagid. Tinikman ko. Yuck. Bakit ko ba pinaparusahan ang aking TG kumain ng ganoon. Para rin daw yon sa kaniya. Tiningnan niya ako ng sinabi ko ang yuck. Sabi niya rin yuck. Tawa ako nang malakas. Ang aking TG, nadagdagan ang vocabulary.
Inabot ko ang mga diyaryo at in-between subo kay tiskiting, nagbabasa ako ng mga headlines. Tapos may nabasa akong balita. Syeeeet. sigaw ko. Ooops ubos na ang Gerber. Tumayo ako para kunin ang gatas sa ref habang binabasa ko ang balita. Syeet, syeet. syeeet.
Syeeet, Ooops, hindi ako nagsabi noon. Syeeet. Umulit ulit. Hinarap ko ang aking tsikiting gubat. Hinintay kong lumabas ang salita para malaman ko kung sa kaniya nga nanggaling. Syeeet. sigaw niya. Mas malakas. Hawak ko ang gatas. Hindi ko mailagay sa kaniyang bibig. Habang paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi ang Syeet ay para pa siyang kinikilig. ANONG GINAWA KO SA AKING TSIKITING GUBAT? TINURUAN KONG MAGMURA?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Heartburn
Dear insansapinas,
There are many causes of heartburn or acid reflux. Some of these are Sour cream, milk shake, ice cream. orange juice, cranbeery juice, grapefruit juice and fatty foods too like ground beef, chicken with the skin (pahubarin ninyo), caffeine, etc. Even seafoods that have fats in them can aggravate heartburn symptoms.
Ako paborito ko ang crab saka shrimp. Pero para walang taba, pinageexercise ko muna sila. Ito.
Corny.
Pinaysaamerika
There are many causes of heartburn or acid reflux. Some of these are Sour cream, milk shake, ice cream. orange juice, cranbeery juice, grapefruit juice and fatty foods too like ground beef, chicken with the skin (pahubarin ninyo), caffeine, etc. Even seafoods that have fats in them can aggravate heartburn symptoms.
Ako paborito ko ang crab saka shrimp. Pero para walang taba, pinageexercise ko muna sila. Ito.
Corny.
Pinaysaamerika
Monday, May 23, 2011
My Life as a Cat
Dear insansapinas,
The inventions in Japan are truly amazing. These cat's ears work with the wearer's brain. The only bad news is that it can be used only if you have brain. Members of Congress and government executives who are already "palpak" and yet try to avoid responsibilities are not qualified to wear them. bwhahaha. (ito talaga ang purpose ng blog na ito, lalo na sa nagsasabi na ang living out of prison ng mgaVIP ay small matter.Tseh,)
*Nabulatlat ng kapatid ko sa web.
In my past life as a cat, the only thing I can do is wear this super costume (Super CAT, mas mukha ng sa daga yong ears. hehehe) so that I can save the world from the false prophets. (nagtago na si Camping). Hindi na siya Happy Camper. I can't even wiggle my whiskers. Toinkk.
Photoshopped picture courtesy of Paulding of My Pinoy Humor.
Nakita raw niya itong old pic ko sa kaniyang Commodore ( ooops) noong nagsisimula pa lang kaming magblog. Ngayon ilang na lang kaming active magblog. Ang iba nasa fezbuk na. Wala naman akong fez, kaya wala akong buk.
Balak kong regaluhan ang aking tsikiting gubat. Iniimbita na naman daw siyang magturo sa university. Sabi ko ituloy ang laban. Pag tinawag niya ang istudyent, yong tenga lang ang gagamitin niya. Opps, nakalimutan ko lang uminom ng gamot.
Pinaysaamerika
The inventions in Japan are truly amazing. These cat's ears work with the wearer's brain. The only bad news is that it can be used only if you have brain. Members of Congress and government executives who are already "palpak" and yet try to avoid responsibilities are not qualified to wear them. bwhahaha. (ito talaga ang purpose ng blog na ito, lalo na sa nagsasabi na ang living out of prison ng mgaVIP ay small matter.Tseh,)
*Nabulatlat ng kapatid ko sa web.
In my past life as a cat, the only thing I can do is wear this super costume (Super CAT, mas mukha ng sa daga yong ears. hehehe) so that I can save the world from the false prophets. (nagtago na si Camping). Hindi na siya Happy Camper. I can't even wiggle my whiskers. Toinkk.
Photoshopped picture courtesy of Paulding of My Pinoy Humor.
Nakita raw niya itong old pic ko sa kaniyang Commodore ( ooops) noong nagsisimula pa lang kaming magblog. Ngayon ilang na lang kaming active magblog. Ang iba nasa fezbuk na. Wala naman akong fez, kaya wala akong buk.
Balak kong regaluhan ang aking tsikiting gubat. Iniimbita na naman daw siyang magturo sa university. Sabi ko ituloy ang laban. Pag tinawag niya ang istudyent, yong tenga lang ang gagamitin niya. Opps, nakalimutan ko lang uminom ng gamot.
Pinaysaamerika
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ads, Book Shelves and Cats
Dear insansapinas,
I am overloaded with the news about showbiz and politics. So what if Prince William and HRH Catherine are going to their honeymoon. Sobra na sila. Tseh. I better find other stuff.
Web Stuff shared by my brother.
A for Ads
I hate that ad of a car where one of the car owners is a "living dead" who drops some of his body parts around. Eww. What is the message of the ad? Can't get it.
There were ads several decades ago which can be banned today because of the changing norms in the society.
In hospitals, there are posters which illustrate how a second hand smoke can harm the non-smokers.
This ad was promoting it then.
Try posting the ad below and wait for the feminist movements to declare war to make it disappear.
See more creative ads that are no longer acceptable in the modern times here.
http://www.wildfiremarketinggroup.com/40-vintage-ads-that-would-be-banned-today/
B for Book Shelves
We got book shelves. The ones that are assemble-it-yourself- type bought from IKEA and mail order catalogues.
Naah, Virginia, the shelf is not broken. It is an insane design. Just don't invite a person with OCD in your house. He will try to fix it up.
Another creative design is the shelf below.
It is ideal for those who are lazy to stand up to get the book from the shelves. I wonder, what holds the books from falling.
You can see more book shelves here.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/melismashable/20-insanely-creative-bookshelves
C for Cats
It was in the news that a dog was used in the covert operation that killed Bin Laden. How come, they don't use cats? The following are just photo illustrations:
Why not? . They can climb trees (but they need firefighters to bring them down) to serve as "eyes" for the troops. They can leap across buildings and gather intelligence as long as there are no mice no distract their attention.
I am overloaded with the news about showbiz and politics. So what if Prince William and HRH Catherine are going to their honeymoon. Sobra na sila. Tseh. I better find other stuff.
Web Stuff shared by my brother.
A for Ads
I hate that ad of a car where one of the car owners is a "living dead" who drops some of his body parts around. Eww. What is the message of the ad? Can't get it.
There were ads several decades ago which can be banned today because of the changing norms in the society.
In hospitals, there are posters which illustrate how a second hand smoke can harm the non-smokers.
This ad was promoting it then.
Try posting the ad below and wait for the feminist movements to declare war to make it disappear.
http://www.wildfiremarketinggroup.com/40-vintage-ads-that-would-be-banned-today/
B for Book Shelves
We got book shelves. The ones that are assemble-it-yourself- type bought from IKEA and mail order catalogues.
Naah, Virginia, the shelf is not broken. It is an insane design. Just don't invite a person with OCD in your house. He will try to fix it up.
Another creative design is the shelf below.
It is ideal for those who are lazy to stand up to get the book from the shelves. I wonder, what holds the books from falling.
You can see more book shelves here.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/melismashable/20-insanely-creative-bookshelves
C for Cats
It was in the news that a dog was used in the covert operation that killed Bin Laden. How come, they don't use cats? The following are just photo illustrations:
Monday, April 04, 2011
Why do we say it is raining cats and dogs?
Dear insansapinas,
I was meaning to post something about victimology but I just had trimmed my bangs. Until they grow again, I have to bear with my diminished IQ. Toink.
My brother was convincing me to visit the historical places in Virginia. He said we could also go to Pentagon and Quantico, the places which I hear mostly in the TV series I watch.
But I tire easily. The last place I visited was the Washington Mansion.
When I visited Washington Mansion at Mt. Vernon, Virginia, one thing I noticed is the absence of bathroom in the old mansion or I just did not see them since we just looked from outside the rooms.
There is an outhouse which used to be the depository of human wastes collected inside the house.
The wastes were converted to fertilizer. So the note says in that structure.
Below is the miniature replica of the sitting room in the mansion. Cameras are not allowed inside so the guests can only take pictures of this scaled model of the house.
For more pictures, please go to Travel Tips and Trips.
After touring the mansion, I remember an e-mail forwarded by a reader about bathing and cooking practices of people beforemodern conveniences were introduced to humanity.
READ AND SQUIRM
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
1. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
UGH.
2. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Para bang natabunan na ng libag. Hence the saying," Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water." DOUBLE UGH.
3. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying , It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
4. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
TRIPLE UGH AND I LIKE CANOPY BEDS.
Feeling ko prinsesa ako na may kulambo. hehehe
I was meaning to post something about victimology but I just had trimmed my bangs. Until they grow again, I have to bear with my diminished IQ. Toink.
My brother was convincing me to visit the historical places in Virginia. He said we could also go to Pentagon and Quantico, the places which I hear mostly in the TV series I watch.
But I tire easily. The last place I visited was the Washington Mansion.
When I visited Washington Mansion at Mt. Vernon, Virginia, one thing I noticed is the absence of bathroom in the old mansion or I just did not see them since we just looked from outside the rooms.
There is an outhouse which used to be the depository of human wastes collected inside the house.
The wastes were converted to fertilizer. So the note says in that structure.
Below is the miniature replica of the sitting room in the mansion. Cameras are not allowed inside so the guests can only take pictures of this scaled model of the house.
For more pictures, please go to Travel Tips and Trips.
After touring the mansion, I remember an e-mail forwarded by a reader about bathing and cooking practices of people beforemodern conveniences were introduced to humanity.
READ AND SQUIRM
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
1. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
UGH.
2. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Para bang natabunan na ng libag. Hence the saying," Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water." DOUBLE UGH.
3. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying , It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
4. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
TRIPLE UGH AND I LIKE CANOPY BEDS.
 |
| my bedroom in San Francisco |
Sunday, April 03, 2011
The Diary of a Filipina Wife (Culture Shock)
Dear insansapinas,
This is one diary that I would love to read-- a diary of a Filipina is who married to a Caucasian.
MONDAY
Unang attempt kong magluto.Gusto raw niya ng cake. Nakita ko yong recipe para sa angel cake. Sabi ng recipe beat 12 eggs separately. Apat lang ang bowls ko kaya nanghiram ako sa kapitbahay ng
walo pa.
TUESDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko gusto niya ng fruit salad. Inulit pa niya na "serve without dressing". Uhhm pilyo talaga ang asawa ko. Kaya kahit maginaw naghubad ako bago siya dumating. Tinamaan ng kulog, kasama pala niya ang boss niya.
WEDNESDAY
Namimiss ko ang bigas kaya nagluto ako. Sabi ng instruction sa balutan ay " wash thoroughly before steaming the rice". Kaya naghugas ako ng ilang beses kahit naligo na ako ng magang-maga. Sobra namang linis nila dito.
THURSDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko salad na naman daw.Naghanap ako ng bagong recipe.Sabi ng recipe, " prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving."Nagtaka tuloy ang asawa ko bakit may gulay sa kama.
FRIDAY
Nakakuha ako ng recipe para sa cookies.Sabi eh, " put the ingredients in bowl and beat it." Matutuwa ang asawa ko nito, natandaan ko yong sinabi niya doon sa kaniyang pinsang makulit, beat it man. Takbo yong pinsan. Kaya tumakbo rin ako.Walang nangyari doon sa ingredients. Siguro isa pang takbo. Baka pagbalik maayos na yong recipe.
SATURDAY
Dumating ang mga biyenan ko at may dalang manok. Sabi ng aking asawa " dress it for Sunday ". Pusa magandang damitan, pero manok ???? ahmmm
SUNDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko gusto raw niya ay roast para sa hapunan. Wala naman akong makitang may markang roast doon sa refrigerator.Pero may nakita akong Roast doon sa oven. Ahaa. Kumuha ako ng isda at inilagay ko sa oven. Pinihit ko yong oven sa Roast. Bakit ayaw nila ng inihaw na isda?
Ayaw kasi ng leching manok eh. Tseh.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. Bukas ay pinabibili ko ang asawa ko ng mas malaking oven. Gusto
niya kasi ng Chocolate MOOSE.
Pinaysaamerika
This is one diary that I would love to read-- a diary of a Filipina is who married to a Caucasian.
MONDAY
Unang attempt kong magluto.Gusto raw niya ng cake. Nakita ko yong recipe para sa angel cake. Sabi ng recipe beat 12 eggs separately. Apat lang ang bowls ko kaya nanghiram ako sa kapitbahay ng
walo pa.
TUESDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko gusto niya ng fruit salad. Inulit pa niya na "serve without dressing". Uhhm pilyo talaga ang asawa ko. Kaya kahit maginaw naghubad ako bago siya dumating. Tinamaan ng kulog, kasama pala niya ang boss niya.
WEDNESDAY
Namimiss ko ang bigas kaya nagluto ako. Sabi ng instruction sa balutan ay " wash thoroughly before steaming the rice". Kaya naghugas ako ng ilang beses kahit naligo na ako ng magang-maga. Sobra namang linis nila dito.
THURSDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko salad na naman daw.Naghanap ako ng bagong recipe.Sabi ng recipe, " prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving."Nagtaka tuloy ang asawa ko bakit may gulay sa kama.
FRIDAY
Nakakuha ako ng recipe para sa cookies.Sabi eh, " put the ingredients in bowl and beat it." Matutuwa ang asawa ko nito, natandaan ko yong sinabi niya doon sa kaniyang pinsang makulit, beat it man. Takbo yong pinsan. Kaya tumakbo rin ako.Walang nangyari doon sa ingredients. Siguro isa pang takbo. Baka pagbalik maayos na yong recipe.
SATURDAY
Dumating ang mga biyenan ko at may dalang manok. Sabi ng aking asawa " dress it for Sunday ". Pusa magandang damitan, pero manok ???? ahmmm
SUNDAY
Sabi ng asawa ko gusto raw niya ay roast para sa hapunan. Wala naman akong makitang may markang roast doon sa refrigerator.Pero may nakita akong Roast doon sa oven. Ahaa. Kumuha ako ng isda at inilagay ko sa oven. Pinihit ko yong oven sa Roast. Bakit ayaw nila ng inihaw na isda?
Ayaw kasi ng leching manok eh. Tseh.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. Bukas ay pinabibili ko ang asawa ko ng mas malaking oven. Gusto
niya kasi ng Chocolate MOOSE.
Pinaysaamerika
Reloaded from my old website.
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