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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Driver

Dear insansapinas,

I  was too tired yesterday that I went to bed after dinner. I had a doctor's appointment and I arranged for a ride a week ahead. Gusto ko sana magic carpet. Malayo kasi at out of the way ang medical center. Pero cheneck ko na nakainom na ako ng gamot sa puso. Alam ko maaagitate na naman ako paghintay. Hindi dahil late sila kung hindi dahil pare-pareho na lang ang reason--na nawala sila.


Ten minutes na ang nakaraan sa appointed time for pick-up, wala pa. Tapos dumating. Reklamo. Sabi niya pinuntahan daw niya ako sa X street. Sabi ko that's not the street, that is just a cross street. Roll eyes. Oops nakilala ko ang driver. Siya yong babae na iniligaw din ako two years ago. Tapos bago ako binalikan pauwi, nagshopping muna sa SEARS. Buti na lang, hindi lang meds sa puso ang gamit ko pati sa high blood. 150/80. Anyway, hindi ako mahilig makipagespadahan ng dila sa isang tao na ang utak ay nasa paa, na nang ipinagpag ay nahulog. Hindi ako nantutuya ha. Hindi ko ugali yan. Hobby ko lang. ehek


Nagdrive na siya. Ibang direksiyon. Sabi ko, this is not going to my doctor. Sabi niya, meron daw siyang pasyenteng pipick-upin na papunta rin doon. Nakalimutan lang niya. O anong sinabi ko sainyo? So libot kami. Dumaan kami sa Wendy's, sa KFC, sa Chili's at sa Burger King. Lahat fastfood. Niloloko ba ako nito o gutom lang? Kasi ang pasyente, pinipick-up lang sa bahay at inihahatid din sa bahay. Twenty minutes bago appointment ko, Malelate ako nito. Dito pa naman may mga doctor na kakanselahin ang appointment mo pag huli ka. Sus.

When economists use crystal ball

Dear insansapinas,
Fearless forecast is not the same as the actual economic growth. Kaya nga forecast eh. So my eyes rolled when I read this article of an economist.columnist and a former NEDA Director.

I thought of waiting till next week to write this piece on the general state of the Philippine economy. After all, the National Statistical Coordination Board will only announce the official economic growth data for the second quarter tomorrow. Even so, the National Economic and Development Authority has already come out with a “fearless forecast” growth of around 5 percent for the second quarter (that is, from April to June) of this year. If correct, then the growth in the first quarter would have been sustained or even slightly improved upon.
And even if the economy grew by 5 percent, it cannot indicate growth not until it is compared with the past growth rates.  Para bang, o ayan tumaas ang GDP ng 5 per cent, lumago ang economy na kung titingnan mo yong nakaraan ay 8 per cent pala ang taas. Growth rate  ba yon?


Eh lumabas na nga ang actual growth rate na nirelease ng NSCB. Mas mababa pa sa 5 per cent. Anong ginamit niya crystal ball?

He has the pitik test. Siguro yong pitik-bulag. Read on.
My regular readers would know that three vital yardsticks make up my reliable “pitik” test for the economy: presyo (prices), trabaho (jobs), and kita (income)—hence the PTK mnemonic. And surveys tend to show that ordinary people consider these three indicators as most important, in that order.
Let’s start with prices, then. Prices generally go up through time; in fact, one should worry when they generally go down as this reflects a weakening economy. This had been the case in Japan for well over a decade. The relevant question is, how fast are prices moving up? The latest reported annual inflation rate is 4.3 percent, slightly higher than the 3.9 percent last year, but actually slower than in some of our more dynamic neighbors of late. The good news is that food price increases have been slower than overall, suggesting that inflation is not hitting the poor (for whom food is the dominant part of their budget) as hard as the rest. Economists also make a distinction between “headline” inflation and “core” inflation, where the latter excludes prices of price-volatile items like energy and food, thereby being a better measure of fundamental price stability. There is good news here as well: core inflation is actually much lower (3.6 percent), and actually lower than last year (3.9 percent). After all, price rises in the past months have come mainly from oil price increases, which are global in nature and largely beyond our control.
Siya lang yata ang hindi nababahala sa inflation aka increase in prices kasi raw hindi pa lumampas sa target rate.
Why does BSP require an increase in the reserve requirements in the banks, then ?


Ginagawa lang ito para macontrol ang pera na nasa circulation to check inflaion.


Sabi nga sa balita:
The central bank said last month that the growth prospects for the economy remains bright, while admitting that inflation is a major risk.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Earthquake and Fire Drills

 Dear insansapinas,

 Uber prepared ang East Coast sa Hurricane Irene. Sabi nila hype kasi walang masyadong victims. Damn if you do, don't if you damn. (Learned ako eh kagaya ni James Soriano) Nilimas pa ng mga consumers ang mga shelves sa groceries ng tubig at mga delata. Sa amin ang naging biktima lang ay ang Magnolia mango flavored ice cream. Natunaw kasi walang power. BURP.

Pero pagdating sa earthquake, ito ang headline. Quake a disaster 'drill' D.C. flunked 

Kasi siguro hindi sanay ang mga tao dito sa earthquake. Sa California, mayroon kaming once or twice a month drill for fire and earthquake. Meron kaming "barangay chairman" sa bawa't floor na siyang nagcocordinate sa "Bakwet". 

Pagnarinig mo na yong sound na "THIS IS A ...

DRILL, iwan mo na kahit na anong hawak mo at takbo ka na doon sa lugar kung saan ang "mayor" ay i-aaccount sa mga department heads ang kanilang mga tao. Pagkatapos, balikan na sa opit.

Meron kaming isang empleyadang pagkatapos palang magsabi ng " present" biglang nawawala at pumupunta sa Macy's .Dalang bloke lang naman kasi ang layo sa amin. Hindi niya alam naespiyahan siya. Tanggal.

Meron pang isang empleyada na madalas umeskapo pag fire at earhquake drills, ganoon din ang gawi. Hindi lang sa Macy's kung hindi sa iba ring departmen store.Ang Macy's nga hindi mababankrupt dahil sa mga empleyadong dumadaan doon.  Minsan nakita niya ako sa Macy's din. Hehejeje. Hindi ako naglalakwatsa. Bumibili ako ng regalo para sa Big Boss. Siyempre, gusto nila ang taste ko kaya ako ang nautusang bumili.(Binola pa ako ng mga diyaske).

Schedule of Father Fernando Suarez for the month of September


Dear insansapinas,
For those inquiring on the schedule of Father Fernando Suarez, here is a partial schedule for the month of September.

SEPTEMPBER 1
THURSDAY
7:30 P.M.
Eucharistic Celebration followed by a Healing Service
Saint Mary Magdalen Parish
2400 N. Providence Road,
Media, PA 19063
USA

Contact:
Mary Lou,: 610-566-8821 ext 109
email: marylousmm@verizon.net

SEPTEMBER 2
FRIDAY
6:30 PM
Eucharistic Celebration followed by a Healing Service
The Church of St. Valentine
125 North Spring Street Bloomfield,
New Jersey, USA

Contacts:
Saint Valentine Prayer Group:
1. Genia & Jimmy Virtucio,
973-572-8000 or 973-987-7000 GeniaYV@aol.com
2. Dick & Cita Tibay, 973-477-7539
3. Andy & Charie, 973-773-0719


SEPREMBER 3
SATURDAY
10:00 A.M.
Eucharistic Celebration followed by a Healing Service
The Church of Epiphany
615 Thiele Road,
Brick, New Jersey 08724
USA

Due to the limited capacity of the church,
tickets will be issued for the mass.

Contacts:
Parish Office: 732-458-0220 or
Deacon Lou: 732-840-5357,
email: commisso11@comcast.net

SEPTEMBER 4
SUNDAY
6:00 PM
Healing Grace with Fr. Fernando
Radio program with Fr. Javey
Radio Station : Veritas 846 (846Khz-AM)
Listen to online video streaming
http://www.veritas846.ph

SEPTEMBER 11
SUNDAY
6:00 AM
Healing Grace Mass
TV Mass, TV5


6:00 PM
Healing Grace with Fr. Fernando
Radio program with Fr. Javey
Radio Station : Veritas 846 (846Khz-AM)
Listen to online video streaming
http://www.veritas846.ph

SEPTEMBER 17
SATURDAY
5:00 PM
Eucharistic Celebration followed by a Healing Service
(Organized by Landmark)
Glorietta Acitvity Center
Ayala Center, Makati City

Registration:
Landmark Trinoma QC, Ground Floor, Dept. Store -922-9990
Landmark Makati Ground Floor, Main Lobby - 810-9990

SEPTEMBER 18
SUNDAY
6:00AM
The Healing Eucharist
TV Mass, ABS CBN

10:00 AM
Eucharistic Celebration followed by a Healing Service
MonteMaria
Brgy. Amuyong, Alfonso Cavite
Contact person:
Liezel Alcazar - (046)519-5327 / 0917-842-3774


SEPTEMBER 25
SUNDAY
6:00 AM
Healing Grace Mass
TV Mass, TV 5


6:00 PM
Healing Grace with Fr. Fernando
Radio program with Fr. Javey
Radio Station : Veritas 846 (846Khz-AM)
Listen to online video streaming
http://www.veritas846.ph

Pinaysaamerika

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hurricane Irene

Dear insansapinas,
Yeheeey mayroon ng ilaw. O di va ganiyan ang mga bata palakpakan pa eh pag nagkaroon na nag kuryente pagkatapos ng mahabang brown-out. Tapos unahan sa TV.
Magdamag  at maghapon kaming walang ilaw. Walang Phone kasi kabit din sa kuryente. Walang internet. Wala lahat. ARGHHHHHHHH.
photocredit

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Who heals the healers?


 Dear insansapinas,
In 2007, I was diagnosed wih metastasized cancer. I prayed thru the intercession of Father Suarez. It was gone. I know, I did not keep my promise... that is to forgive.


There are three well-known priest-healers in the country, namely, Father Fernando Suarez;


Father Corsi Legaspi; and
photocredits: Philstar
 Father Joey Faller




Several sick people were reported to have been healed thru their intercessions. Did you ever wonder  who heals the healers when they get sick?


The following is an article written by Ricky Lo of Philstar.




When Fr. Fernando Suarez said a healing Mass followed by a healing session in Catarman, Northern Samar, two of my townmates from Las Navas claimed that they were healed. One was suffering from prostate cancer and the other myoma. Magic? They believed it was a miracle.


My doctor-friend was downhearted when his wife was diagnosed with cancer of the ovary. In addition to the medical treatment, he sought out Fr. Joey Faller to pray over his wife. Soon, the cancer was gone. Magic? The couple believed it was a miracle.


Somebody I know was into tube-feeding after suffering from a stroke. His relative requested Fr. Corsie Legaspi to pray over him over the phone. In an instant, the patient could swallow solid food and did away with the tube.


On a recent working trip to Bangkok to interview Thai pop star Mario Maurer, my friend Raoul Tidalgo and I paid Fr. Corsie a visit at a room where he conducts healing sessions once a month. Fr. Corsie looked at Raoul’s arms and said, “Raise them.” The left arm was five inches shorter than the right. Whereupon, Fr. Corsie prayed over Raoul’s arms and then asked him again to raise them. The two arms were equal in length.


Magic? It could be a miracle.


There are non-believers and then again there are hundreds who believe and so they flock to the healing Masses/sessions of these three healing priests, who are among the most popular in the country. That’s the key word — believe. Faith can move mountains, can’t it?


I’ve been wondering if a healer can heal himself, so I asked Fr. Suarez and Fr. Faller (Fr. Corsie couldn’t text or e-mail his answers from Bangkok) about it. Here’s what they said:


Do you feel the symptoms of the sick after a healing session?


Fr. Suarez: I’m just a plain conduit, so it’s one way. The power comes from God and is coursed through me to the people, so walang bumabalik sa akin. After a healing session, I don’t get tired, I don’t feel drained, siguro nangangalay lang ang paa ko which is normal kasi most of the time I am on my feet.


Fr. Faller: Every time I touch people I can feel their sickness in the form of heaviness in my heart… and pain in my head if the sickness is great. In a way, I absorb negative energy.


Can a healer heal himself?


Fr. Suarez: No. This gift is not for me; it is for the people. Siguro other healers can heal themselves. 

Friday, August 26, 2011

Ang Hindi Magmahal sa Sariling Wika ay Isdang Nawala sa Aquarium

Dear insansapinas, 


Last week, I have just read an article where one blogger claimed that English was her first language when she was young. Pinay naman. Ano kayang English yon? Yong o dat's dirty, dirty, you take a bath na or your mom will make palo you?


Another blogger has been writing that she can not understand and talk in Tagalog because she is from the south. But Virginia, she has been living in the Metro for than thirty years. Ibig bang sabihin, she talks with her neighbors in English?


What is this mentality that if you speak and write in English, you're intellectual or intelligent?  Sabi ko nga noon, pumunta sila dito ang magsalita sila sa English, baka sabihin ng Puti pag narinig silang nagsalita, lalo pag accented .  What? 


Gloria Diaz declared to the world when she won the Miss Universe title that she did not speak Tagalog because it is for the atsay only. After relinquishing her crown, she became a movie star and guess what language catapulted her to popularity? Tagalog or Filipino.


But of course, iba ang conversational Filipino just like the conversational English that one should learn to be understood by the majority. You are not expected naman to say AKO AY YAYAO na para sabihing ikaw ay aalis na. Kung hindi multo ka na pagbalik. tseh.


Bakit Filipino ang topic ko? Hindi dahil matatapos na ang Agosto ang buwan ng Wika kung hindi dahil sa article na ito. (italicized, mine)
via professional heckler (hindi na maaccess yong article sa manila bulletin.

Language, learning, identity, privilege 
Ithink
By JAMES SORIANO
August 24, 2011, 4:06am
Manila Bulletin
MANILA, Philippines — English is the language of learning. I’ve known this since before I could go to school. As a toddler, my first study materials were a set of flash cards that my mother used to teach me the English alphabet.
My mother made home conducive to learning English: all my storybooks and coloring books were in English, and so were the cartoons (bakit may Tagalog bang cartoon noon?) I watched and the music I listened to. She required me to speak English at home. She even hired tutors to help me learn to read and write in English.
In school I learned to think in English. We used English to learn about numbers, equations and variables.(Well, because our textbooks were written in English, especially noong kapanahunan niya)  With it we learned about observation and inference, the moon and the stars, monsoons and photosynthesis. With it we learned about shapes and colors, about meter and rhythm. I learned about God in English, and I prayed to Him in English.(paano kaya kung sinagot siya in Hebrew or Latin). 
Filipino, on the other hand, was always the ‘other’ subject — almost a special subject like PE or Home Economics, except that it was graded the same way as Science, Math, Religion, and English. My classmates and I used to complain about Filipino all the time. Filipino was a chore, like washing the dishes; it was not the language of learning. It was the language we used to speak to the people who washed our dishes.(I should speak to my dishwashing machine in Filipino pala if it malfunctions).
We used to think learning Filipino was important because it was practical: Filipino was the language of the world outside the classroom. It was the language of the streets: it was how you spoke to the tindera when you went to the tindahan, (may katulong sila, bakit siya pumupunta sa tindahan. May tindahan ba sa village nilawhat you used to tell your katulong that you had an utos, and how you texted manong when you needed “sundo na.”
These skills were required to survive in the outside world, because we are forced to relate with the tinderas and the manongs and the katulongs of this world. If we wanted to communicate to these people — or otherwise avoid being mugged on the jeepney — we needed to learn Filipino.
(You go to Divisoria and you haggle with Chinese who can't speak a single Filipino word).
(You are not mugged in a jeepney if you tell the driver, stop, I am getting off.(Sa Pilipinas, the word is alight).  Ilalampas ka lang ng ilang kanto. Sabihin mo na lang PARA MAMA, I will make baba sa kanto. Pero pwede lang yon kung colehiyala ka who invented Taglish to make them unique from other Tagalog speakers.) 


That being said though I was proud of my proficiency with the language. Filipino was the language I used to speak with my cousins and uncles and grandparents in the province, so I never had much trouble reciting.
It was the reading and writing that was tedious and difficult. I spoke Filipino, but only when I was in a different world like the streets or the province; it did not come naturally to me. English was more natural; I read, wrote and thought in English.( like I got to pee when he feels urinating? ows)  And so, in much of the same way that I learned German later on, I learned Filipino in terms of English. In this way I survived Filipino in high school, albeit with too many sentences that had the preposition ‘ay.’
It was really only in university that I began to grasp Filipino in terms of language and not just dialect. Filipino was not merely a peculiar variety of language, derived and continuously borrowing from the English and Spanish alphabets; it was its own system, with its own grammar, semantics, sounds, even symbols.
But more significantly, it was its own way of reading, writing, and thinking. There are ideas and concepts unique to Filipino that can never be translated into another. Try translating bayanihan, tagay, kilig or diskarte.( cooperative endeavour for bayanihan; shot for tagay, giddy for kilig and huwag kang maarte (ooops ) in diskarte).
Only recently have I begun to grasp Filipino as the language of identity: the language of emotion, experience, and even of learning. And with this comes the realization that I do, in fact, smell worse than a malansang isda. My own language is foreign to me: I speak, think, read and write primarily in English. To borrow the terminology of Fr. Bulatao, I am a split-level Filipino.
But perhaps this is not so bad in a society of rotten beef and stinking fish. For while Filipino may be the language of identity, it is the language of the streets. It might have the capacity to be the language of learning, but it is not the language of the learned.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Mga Balitang nakakalurkey


Dear insansapinas, 



Mga balitang nakakalurkey.

1. Bakit hindi pareho ang amount ng bounty para kay Khadafy? Saan napunta ang kulang?


a. Rebels offer $ 2 million bountry for Khadafy's captures 


b. $1.7-M sa ulo ni Gadhafi 

Idineklara nang wan­ted si Libyan President Moammar Gadhafi ma­tapos na magpataw ng halagang $1.7 mil­yong reward o pabuya sa si­ numang makakapagturo o makakadakip sa kanya buhay man o patay.
2.Dr. Hayden Kho Jr. pa rin?
BOOM : Hiling ni Dr. Vicki Belo, tawagin pa ring doktor si Hayden Kho, Jr.kahit tuluyan na itong tinanggalan ng lisensiya ng Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) dahil nandiyan pa rin naman ang medical degree ng kasintahan. Sobrang apektado si Hayden sa ibinabang desisyon ng PRC kaya umalis na lang sila ng doktora pa-Amerika para hindi na sila makunan pa ng statement kaugnay dito.


Buti nga siya pag naiinis, pupunta lang sa  US. Kaswerte naman.


3. Adoption of a puppy


http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/23/prince-charles-and-camilla-adopt-a-puppy/


Why is the adoption of a puppy by Prince Charles and Camilla under Entertainment. Why is it a headline news anyway?


4. Saksi: Ex-LTA bookkeeper, muling ginisa ng mga senador


Sa English ito ang balita:

Senate grills anew Arroyo firm ex-bookkeeper on 'choppers mess'


Di ba dapat stir fried or sauteed pa ginisa?


Babaw ko. 


Pinaysaamerika  

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What was that?

Dear insansapinas,

Washington Monument
Sorry for the blurred image, I was inside the vehicle when I took the photo.

You can not blame the" East Coasters" to panic yesterday. I did panic too because I knew it was an earthquake. The people here are not accustomed to having an earthquake. The last strongest (almost as strong as yesterday) was in 1944 yet. So many people especially  in DC and Virginia must have  thought that it was another man-made disaster (  terrorism)  With  Sept. 11 only a few weeks away, you can not fault them if they asked what the hell was that.


Some people in our area sat in the grassy frontyard. Akala ko nagpipicnic. Yon pala takot bumalik sa bahay.




The employees were sent home so that buildings could be checked for cracks. Wala yong hintayin mo na ang big boss bago umuwi. Sa Pilipinas, usually ang big boss wala sa opit. Nasa labas, sa ganoong oras. almost two in the afternoon., Nanginginain ng extended lunch.


At 5 o clock, our phone  started ringing. Nahh Virginia, not friends who would like to ask how we are or relatives checking on us. They're telemarketers, solicitors, scammers who thought that because the people were dismissed early, they will be at home to answer the phone. MGA MAUTAK talaga. But that is for people without caller id. For us whose number calling appears in our TV screen, pahinog kayo,


The land marks were checked for damages. One such land mark is the Washington Monument. (see picture above)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

EARTHQUAKE

Dear insansapinas,
San Andreas faujlt in California
photocredit 


I dozed off while reading and the first word that hit me when  I woke up  is earthquake. Indeed, a few seconds, the bed shook, the bookshelves rattled so much so that the books fell to the carpet. Even the magazines in the couch slid down the floor.

Travel Tips

Dear insansapinas,

I did not intend to write about travel tips because I expect people especially those whose digital toys seemed to be additional appendages in their bodies would simply GOOGLE things about places where they would like to go, airline rules and weather/climate of their destinations.

Sorry but when I read that someone  who claims she's smart but asks webnetizens about airline baggage requirements, I like to roll my eyes like a watch being wound.
1. Know the maximum number and weights allowed by the airline and the carry-on bag that you can put in the overhead compartment. You can find these information in their website.  There are airlines which allow a passenger one laptop, a camera and a jacket aside from the carry-on luggage.

When I was going to San Francisco, a ground personnel was charging me additional for my jacket. Ano siya baliw? Sabi niya kasi mainit naman daw sa Pinas so hindi ko raw kailangang bitbitin. Oo nga mainit sa Pinas pero kako paglanding ko sa San Francisco, malamig. Gusto niya bulatlatin ko pa ang aking check-in baggage for the jacket. Paano kung namisplaced ang aking luggage.

Hindi naman leather jacket yon na suot ng kagaya ni Nora Aunor kahit mainit sa Pinas. I don't bring my leather jacket sa Pinas. Ang INIT anoh. Kagaya noong kasabay kong kaibigan, nakajacket ng leather, nakaboots ng knee-high at nakaaviator glasses. SUS. Pag labas namin sa NAIA, sinampal kami ng init na hangin. Hindi lang patak ng pawis ang inabot niya, kung hindi, balde balde. Tseh.

2. Know the weather/climate of your destination. Alam naman siguro ng marami na 4 seasons dito sa States, hindi kagaya diyan sa Pinas, na dalawa. MAULAN at MAULAN seasons. PERO sa laki ng sakop ng US, you do not expect na pare-pareho ang weather. Na pag sinabing summer, yon ay mainit na sa buong Estados Unidos.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Man Goes for Circumcision Goes out without penis

 Dear insansapinas,

Ooops, bago ninyo ako batuhin sa aking taytol, talagang sinadya kong kopyahin en toto yan para makuha yong intention na maattract ang readers. Pero hindi yan bastos na balita kung hindi para sa opinion ni Biyay na ating resident lawyer (bakit may retainer bang binabayad sa kaniya? Gratis hehehe). Pero bago ang balita, isa munang patalastas,


Ang aking mga pinsan, kapatid at mga kaptbahay ay di na kailangang pumunta sa doctor para sa TULE. Kay Mang Selo lang sila sa ilalim ng puno sa aming bakuran sa probins puwede na lalo pag summer o bakasyon sa iskwela. May kagat na tangkay ng bayabas at matapos silang sumigaw ng AHHHHHHH, makita mo sila ay nakapalda na.


Seryoso. Noong ako ay operahan sa colon noong 2007 base sa nakita nila sa CATSCAN na dalawang bukol, sabi ng aking gastroenterologist bago ako operahan, di niya alam ang ineexpect niyang makita. Pag nakita niyang hindi na pwedeng operahan, hindi niya na ito gagalawin.


Sa aking mga check up para sa cancer, maraming tests ang ginagawa, Nandiyan ang sa dugo kung saan may blood count na ginagawa  na pag mababa o masyadong mataas ay nagpapahiwatig ng cancer. Nandiyan ang MRI, ang CT Scan at ultasound.  Hindi lang isang doctor ang kinukunsulta kung hindi may isa pa for second opinion. Bago ang procedure na ilalapat, nakikipagmeet ang mga surgeon sa pamilya para eexplain ang gagawin, ano ang expectation at ano ang mga side effects.


Ang circumcision ay hindi nangangailangan ng major major anesthesia, baka sergeant lang kung hindi corporal. 

PNoy might have his own talk show

Dear insansapinas,




As if the three headed- Communications hydra and the ever vigilant spokesperson Valte are not enough to inform the public of what's going on in Malacanan and the government bureaucracy, the Palace is planning to have a show for Pnoy. No need for commercials; no need for rating; it is the government network, Virginia.


Meron bang explosibo, exclusivo at blind items segments? ahahay. Tseh.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Crystal Ball, Fortune Telling, Midlife Crisis and Scam


Dear insansapinas,

Kung pinagpatuloy ko pala ang aking ala Rene Mariano na profession, magiging milyonaryo rin ako. Ohohoy. Pero hindi ako naniningil at ginawa ko lang hobby na inihinto ko kasi naabala ako sa aking bread and mantekilya na may asukal (kaya naging diabetic eh). Bago tayo pumunta mismo sa balita, let me tell you a story na hindi lang Pinoy ang nahohooked sa fortune tellers. Pati mga Puti rin, Marami ngang naloloko. Ang kaibahan lang sa atin, ginagawa nating SHRINK ang manghuhula pag may problema tayo. Hingahan ng sama ng loob, tanong sa pagtataksil at tanong para sa kinabukasan, Mura pa. Sa Quiapo. Huwag lang doon sa mga self-styled psychic of the stars and celebrities.
Dito sa Stares, merong pumunta sa aking mag-asawa; pinay ang babae at puti ang lalaki. Nakulam daw si Mister, sabi ng isang psychic na gypsy. Parang second opinion sa akin. Nanonood pa naman ako ng rerun ng BEWITCHED. Hinihingan sila ng maraming pera para gumaling.
Ang alam ko meron talagang phase sa buhay ng lalaki, lalo na yong tumatanda na na dumadaan doon. Dalawang kaibigan ko na ang asawa ay parehong Puti ang ganoon din ang experience. Payo ko maghintay siya, lilipas din.

Meron namang babae na over 50 na pero talaga namang kuntodo pagpapaganda. Anong sakit doon? Yon ang extended midlife crisis ng babae. Yong maglalagay ng ribbon, magsusuot ng mga out-of this world na damit para batang tingnan. Ang problema iniisip niyang buntis siya eh wala na naman siyang buwanang dalaw. Nagpapahormone therapy daw siya para lalong magmukha siyang bata. Binigyan ko ng dollar at pinabili ko ng TWix chocolate. Gutom lang yan. Kulang sa sugar. ILUSYONADA.
Pero meron ding mga scamero diyan sa Pinas na mga manghuhula. Kung anu-ano ang hihingin saiyo. Kagaya ng pamilya ng aking kaklase noon. Mga pagkaing ihahanda raw sa mga spirits sa bahay nila para di sila guluhin. Dasal lang ang kailangan doon.
Kaibigan ko naman hiningan ng pansabong na Texas, Yong psychic ang bibili,susunugin niya at ibibigay niya sa kaibigan ko yong abo. Malay mo kung Texas yon, Hmmm.

Ako noong kukuha ng Board Exam, nagpahula din. Doon ba sa napakaganda ang opisina, airconditioned pa at ang mahal ng singil. Sabi niya, kalahati lang daw ang chance kong pumasa. Kung babayaran ko raw siya mg ten pesos a day o 300 pesos a month mula sa pagrereview ko at lumabas ang resulta, tiyak daw akong papasa. ANO BALIW?
Mas bilib pa ako doon sa manghuhula ko na nakatira sa isang squatter area. Six pesos lang ang singil noon pero 90 per cent naman correct. Wala siyang pinag-aralan kaya kung minsan wala siyang tact pero okay naman. 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Illegal Aliens or Tago ng Tago for deportation may be given work permit

Dear insansapinas, 
Hindi ko alam kung for deportation na ang kakilala ko. Kasunod ko lang siyang dumating dito sa Estet at gumastos siya ng perang pwede na niyang ibili ng BMWpero denied pa rin siyang maging green card.
Yong isa namang kakilala ng aking kaibigan ay nagpakasal sa isang US citizen na Pinoy, hindi nakapasa sa interview ng immigration. Buking tuloy na convenience marriage lang.
Ganito kasi ang mga interview diyan (hindi lahat) titingnan nila kung kaya ka nilang intimidate, Saka alam nila kung nagsisinungaling ka thru your reactions.

Tinanong daw siya kung sino nauunang gumising, (Hindi sila nagsasama). Hiwalay pa ang mag-asawa sa pagtatanong. Ito naman ay kung may hinala lang silang fraud o may naninirang magrereport anonymously. Evil.Titingnan nila kung magtutugma ang inyong sagot. Sa tanong ay kung sino ang nauuna sa kanilang gumising ,  sabi yata ni lalaki, siya: sabi ni babae, siya, At least napetition na ng US cit yong anak na babae noong asawa niya.  Tinanong ang ina kung saan natutulog. Sabi ng ina, sa sala. Sabi naman ng anak, sa auntie nita. Tinawagan pa sa tinatrabahuhan niya, Ganiyan sila ka eager malaman ang katotohanan. May isang retrato ng pinsan ng lalaki sa kaniyang photo album (OO Maryland, papakita mo ang retrato ng iyong kasal para maniwala sila).Pag quickie marriage sa Vegas, tumataas ang kanilang kilay. Tanong noong ahente, kailang kayo nagkasama ng pinsan niya. Sabi noong lalaki, matagal na: sabi ng babae, kahapon lamang. Tinawagan ang pinsan wagi ang lalaki.Pati ba naman kung ilang basurahan sa bahay tinatanong. Pati salamin at anong kinain nila ng hapunan. Kung nagsasama talaga kayo kasi, alam mo ang kinain ninyo, pabali-baliktarin man ang tanong. Noon ang bayaran sa convenience marriage ay 12,000 yata.


Balik tayo sa istorya. Bagsak sila sa ikalawa nilang interview. Pagkatapos niyan may order na nang pagdampot for deportation. Nakatakas siya. Nakapagtrabaho pa. Pero nang humigpit sa SSS verification, nawalan siya ng trabaho, Yong asawa niya napetition ng anak niya, Ewan ko naman kung nagtatrabaho.


Ang mga ganito na wala namang criminal records ang tinatarget ng immigration para mapanatili sa bansa. Kahit na ba pulitika yan, Hindi naman makakaboto kung hindi ka US cit. pero siyempre grateful ang mga kamag-anak,


Ito ang balita:


- In a move that could shake up the U.S. immigration system, the Department of Homeland Security is going to begin reviewing all 300,000 pending deportation cases in federal immigration courts

Sortage of Cancer and Other Drugs in Hospital Setting

Dear insansapinas,

photocredit
There is another crisis going on in the US. This is the shortage of drugs particulalry those used for chemotherapy, antibiotics for infections, steroids and other drugs for critically ill patients. Kaya nga ang advice ngayon, huwag kayong magkakasakit. Ayyy. Ito totoo, bago pumunta sa ospital para magpaconfine, tanungin muna kug may available na drugs. Baka magstay sa ospital at maghintay na magkaroon ng drugs o kaya, napakalaking babayaran sa gamot.



Here is the news:
The Food and Drug Administration says hospitals are running out of many important drugs, including popular chemotherapy medications such as Doxil.
That, officials say, has created a huge gray market in which some medications are marked up more than 600 percent.

Tatlo ang binigay na dahilan ng shortage:
One of them is low capacity with the manufacturing process. A lot of these companies, a lot of these drugs are made in companies or factories that just don't have the capacity to make more. A large percentage of these problems come when the inspectors, either the companies or the governments inspecting the production process, find contamination in these medications. They are more complicated to make. A lot of them come from ingredients we have to import from other countries, and contamination is a problem. And some of them are generic, (and have a) very low profit margin, and there is no financial incentive for some of these companies to keep manufacturing these drugs, because now they are so inexpensive."
Totoong dahilan diyan ay ang huli. Oras naging generic ang drugs, ibig sabihin ang patents nito ay nagexpire na, wala nang kumpaniyang gustong magmanufacture kasi maliit ang tubo. Pwede na sanang imanufacture ng iba yan pero pinagbabawalan ng malalaking pharmaceutical companies. Kumpeteinsiya ng bagong drugs nila na hindi generic kaya minsan available ito sa ibang bansa.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Blind Item na may pangalam


Dear insansapinas,

Habang nagwewelcome sa B actress-heiress na si Paris Hilton may bangayan pala sa barangay. 
Here is the article:
Paris Hilton eruption

Pinaysaamerika
GUESTS and customers at the Pen lobby were treated to a verbal fireworks Wednesday night between actress Annabelle Rama and Century Properties managing director Robbie Antonio that even the orchestra had to stop playing as the two duked it out in front of startled diners.
Century Properties, for those born yesterday, is the property development group that brought reality TV star Paris Hilton to Manila to help create marketing buzz for its Sucat project.
According to an eyewitness, Rama apparently took offense at how Antonio and his staff had handled her actress daughter Ruffa Gutierrez and other local stars at a just-concluded Paris Hilton event that the mother hen’s volcanic temper erupted there and then.

What Is your name?

Dear insansapinas,

Most of the Filipinos are named after saints, popular stars, heroes, parents (the juniors), grandparents and virtues.

The most popular names however come from the favorite movie stars of the parents. In our family, three out of eight siblings were named after the favorite stars of my mother.Ako nga galing sa artista pangalan ko. Foreigner nga lang.

ITo hanapin ninyo ang mga pangalan ninyo o ang inyong anak. The more different your name is from the rest, the greater is the chance for you to get your NBI Clearance without the hassle of having a felon with the same name as yours.

Teka bakit wala si Piolo? Si John Lloyd meron? Ha. Biyay?



No Male Total % No Female Total. %
1. Josuah 7,758.88 1. Angel 4,722 .58
2. John Paul 7,389.54 2. Angelica 4,385 .54
3. Christian 6,747.77 3. Nicole 3,603 .44
4. Justine 5,821.66 4. Angela 3,283 .40
5. John Mark 4,758.54 5. Mary Joy 2,579 .32
6. John Lloyd 3,980.45 6. Mariel 2,479 .31
7. Jerome 3,783.43 7. Jasmine 2,299 .28
8. Adrian 3,750.43 8. Mary Grace 2,230 .28
9. John Michael 3,609.41 9. Kimberly 2,088 .26
10. Angelo 3,595.41 10. Stepanie 2,024 .25
11. Justin 3,432.39 11. Christine 1,946 .24
12. John Carlo 3,279.37 12. Michelle 1,939 .24
13. James 2,969.34 13. Jessa Mae 1,728 .21
14. Mark 2,572.29 14. Jenny 1,717
15. Kennneth 2,519.29 15. Angeline 1,711 .21
16. Jayson 2,311.26 16. Erica 1,698 .21
17. Mark Anthony 2,255.26 17. Bea 1,658 .20
18. Daniel 2,244.26 18. Janelle 1,651 .20
19. John Rey 2,241.26 19. Kyla 1,648 .20
20. Ryan 2,165.25 20. Althea 1,633 .20

source : National Census and Statistics Office

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Hindi Mabubuhay ng Walang Lalaki




Dear insansapinas, 


Katatapos ko lang basahin ang Noli Me Tangere at ngayon ay binabasa ko ang El Filibusterismo. Nabasa ko na ito noong high school ako pero noon ang aking motivation ay pumasa sa mga quizzes na ibinibigay sa amin ng teacher. 
Bakit kailangang banggitin ko ito dito sa article na ito? Kasi si Crisostomo Ibarra ay hindi mabubuhay kung wala si Maria Clara. Iba yong dalawang statements na hindi mabubuhay kung walang babae o lalaki  at hindi mabubuhay kung hindi kapiling ang mahal sa buhay. Panyo nga. prrrrsssst. 


Ang statement sa title ay ang pag-amin ng kakilala ko noon na kung sino na lang ang pinapatulan. Full of love daw kasi siya. Pero hindi siya naliligo pag wala siyang boyfriend. Naah Virginia, hindi siya teenager. Golden Girl na siya noon. Lampas liyebo singko na walang sukli, 


Ang asawa niya ay namatay sa sakit pagkatapos magtrabaho ng matagal sa Saudi. Pagkamatay ng asawa niya, siya ay naging COUGAR. Bata pa ang kinasama niya at pinatira sa kanilang bahay. Addict pa. Unti-unting pinagbili ang mga napundar ng kaniyang asawa. Ang mga anak niya ay walang magawa. Tapos nalaman niyan na ginalaw pala nito ang kaniyang dalagita. WALA RIN. Kinampihan pa niya ang walanghiya. Nang naghiwalay sila, ay pati bahay niya naipagbili niya. Kaya lipat siya sa Cavite kung saan namimigay ang gobyerno ng mga lote sa mababang halaga. May kinasama na naman siya na isa raw engineer. Pero ang pensiyon naman ng namatay niyang asawa ang kaniyang palabigasan. Hawak niya ang ATM. Hanggapang maapprove ang petition ng nanay niya sa kaniya.Tumira siya pansamantala sa nanay niya pero pinaalis din dahil kung sino-sino ang isinasamang lalaki sa bahay. Meron pa rin yong engineer na panay ang utang sa kaniya kahit hawak pa nito ang ATM. Natuwa ako nang nagpadala siya ng pera sa mga anak niya para raw makabili ng TV. SUS. Ang boyfriend naman niya noon ay taxi driver na bombay. Kasakay siya magdamag sa taxi. Huwag ninyo akong tanungin kung anong ginagawa nila. Alangan namang nagpipingpong sila.


Huli ko siyang nakita meron siyang kasamang lalaking kaabresyete sa BART. Mukha siyang bumabata. 


Bakit nagtsismis na naman ako. Kasi may research na ginawa tungkol sa cohabitation.  
Cohabiting is an emerging threat to the health of children and society, two new research reports say.In the latter half of the 20th century, “divorce posed the biggest threat to marriage in the United States,” sociology professor W. Bradford Wilcoxand 17 other scholars said in a report released this week by the Institute for American Values’ Center for Marriage and Families and the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.
That is no longer the case, they said.
“Today, the rise of cohabiting households with children is the largest unrecognized threat to the quality and stability of children’s family lives,”

Survey says, Betty White, Most Trusted; Paris Hilton, most unpopular

Dear insansapinas,
Estelle Getty, Bea Ssthur, Rue McClanahan and Betty White

While Paris Hilton has just been treated by celebrity-struck Filipinos like a goddess, the  survey conducted by Reuters and Ipsos ranked her first as the most "unpopular" and least trusted endorser of products together with Charlie Sheen, the Two and a Half Men star who was kicked out from the sitcom.


Betty White, the only surviving cast member of the Golden Girls is number one. Although she is alread 89 years old, she beat Sandra Bullock who placed number three in the poll.


Among the most unpopular, are Tiger Woods who lost product endorsements because of the sex scandal, Donald Trump, for being annoying person, Arnold Schars (whatever) who fathered a son with a housekeeper and Britney Spears.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Blind Items na nakacell phone

 Dear insansapinas,

Study shows that less  than 15 percent of Americans admitted to something that probably every mobile phone owner has probably done at one time or another -- use the device to avoid unwanted personal interactions. 
 
O di va Virginia, buking sila. MATARAY. Ako hindi ko gawa yon kasi hindi ako nakikipag-usap sa cell phone pag ako nasa kalye, not unless emergency. Malabo ang mata ko at gusto ko nakatingin ako sa dinadaanan ko. Ayaw ko ring makipag-usap sa cell phone pag ako nasa isang opisina. Minsan napapalakas pala ang boses ko at baka akalain nila may kaaway ako.Dito pa naman ay sasabihan kang diretsahan.

Pero gagamitin ko rin ang technique ng mga taong ito oras nakipag-usap sa akin yong isang balikbayang singer na sabi ay matagumpay ang kaniyang mga concerts dito sa States  ay alam naman namin ng kaibigan ko na kulang na lang maglumuhod ang singer  para lang bumili ng ticket ang kaibigan ko. Ngayon naman ay may cancer daw siya. Husme ang cancer naman na iyon ay hindi terminal at nagagamot. Hindi na kailangan ang surgery. Nagamot na nga eh. Yong kaibigan ko sampung taon nang nakaraan, buhay pa kahit walang himala.


Kunwari may kausap din ako pag ako kinausap ng isang male TV host na ang ginagamit naman na dahilan ng kaniyang pagbalik sa kaniyang lalawigan kung hindi niya irerenew ang kaniyang contract ay ang kaniyang ina na may sakit daw na kalimot.

Sabihin mo gusto lang niyang mag-establish ng residency sa bayan niya para pagpasok niya sa pulitika. Pati yong pagbitaw niya ng mga clients ginamit ulit ang nanay. A good son or conflict of interest? Tseh,
Anyway anh mga programa naman niya ay di na nagrirate dahil nadadamay siya sa mga gimikera niyang mga talents din. 


Hellooooooo.


Pinaysaamerika

The Impact of Divorce on the Taxpayers


Dear insansapinas,

I am divorced. That's the truth Virginia. But it did not cost the government a single cent. (Biglang tagilid, medyo ibaling ang leeg sa kaliwa, pagandahin ang mata, para bang si Horatio ng CSI-MIAMI) kasi wala naman akong anak na sinuportahan ng gobyerno. 
Tagadan, tagadan. Habang inaadvocate ang stricter divorce laws diyan sa USA, gusto naman  ipapasa ang divorce sa Pilipinas. Oo naman, kung ang almusal ba ninyo ay nagliliparang frying pan at ang hapunan ninyo ay ang mga pintong ibinabalibag na kung pwede lang gumanti siguro pareho kayong mag-asawang hinampas ng pinto, mabuti nga ang maghiwalay na. Kaya lang gusto talaga ng iba ay makapag-asawa rin kaya hindi sapat ang legal separation.
May kaibahan nga lang. Sa Pilipinas naman ay di hinahabol ang mga amang hindi nagbibigay ng suporta sa mga anak. Dito sa US, pag nagdivorce, kahit saang lupalop ka ay mahahabol ka ng korte, i-gagarnish ang iyong suweldo, una para sa child support at ikalawa para sa alimony. Kaya may mga tao dito na ayaw magdiborsiyo dahil mamumulubi sila. 


Paano nagkakaroon ng impact ang divorce sa mga taxpayers dito? Pag single parent ka, pwede kang mag-apply ng welfare para sa mga minor 
na mga anak kapag ang kita mo ay di lumalampas sa maximum na amount para sa qualification ng welfare; wala kang assets at maliliit pa ang mga bata. Nanggagaling ito sa federal at sa state.

Ang TANF ay temporary assistance to needy families. Ito ay pera pambayad ng mga kailangang services para sa pamilya. Kagaya ng bayad sa power and gas o kaya puputulang kuryente. 
Ang food stamps ay hindi ang mga stamps na nilalawayan at dinidikit sa sobre (yuck)  kung hindi allowance ito na ibinibigay ng gobyerno para sa pagkain ng mga bata. Kung tatlo ang bata sa pamilya, tatlong food stamps ang makukuha. Sa ibang States, ito ay parang voucher at sa iba naman ito ay debit card. May priority rin ang mga batang may isa lang magulang sa mga low cost housing. 
Sa school ay libre o may discount sila sa pagkain samantalang ang mga batang may parents na nagtatrabaho ay mas malaki ang ibinabayad.

Monday, August 15, 2011

The wisest mind has something yet to learn.

 Dear insansapinas,

A headline in one of the broadsheets says:

A balikbayan from New Jersey 

warns versus muggers in the Philippines.

The Philippines has a lot of work to do before it becomes a staple in the tourist track," he added.

Verzosa, 25, was mugged in Makati City during his vacation in the Philippines, days before he was to take a flight back to the United States.

He had left a high-paying Manhattan job as senior auditor at one of the Big Four accounting firms to travel in Southeast Asia for six months “to see the world and enjoy life."
 Halatadong ngayon lang siya talaga nagtatravel o kaya ngayon lang niya nakikita ang mundo. Hindi lang sa Pilipinas kung hindi maging sa ibang bansa man ay napakaraming risks para sa mga turista.


Egypt- 

 photocredit
Ang raket dito ay pasasakayin ang turista sa likod ng camel sa halagang 15 dollars. Nakasakay na ba kayo ng camel? Ako nakasakay na. Husme, una pinauupo yan para ka makasakay. Tapos tatayo yan ang unang tataas ay ang po-et kaya ikaw ay nakasubasob. Nang tumayo na ang camel, gusto kong magpadausdos sa leeg. Ang taas pa naman.


Balik tayo sa Egypt. So nakasakay na ang turista. Pag gusto mo nang bumaba, magbabayad ka ng another 15 dollars. O para kang naging hostage sa ibabaw ng camel. Di va.

Bali
Sa Bali naman, mag-ingat ka sa mga unggoy. Uunggoy-ungoy yan pero pag nakalingat ka tangay ang bag mo. Para mabawi, kailangan magbayad ka sa mga tao doong marunong makikutsaba sa unggoy. 
Pati unggoy di mo makakapagtiwalaan. Pinababayaan lang naman kasi silang maglagalag sa kanilang templo. Sa Bali ba naman, kadaming templo.

New York City

Dito sa US, kahit ang mga nagpapalimos (sa San Francisco at least kung gusto mo lang bumili) ay may mga CD sila. Yon yong mga kumakanta o tumutugtog sa mga subway, sidewalk at mga park.
Sa New York City, may mga wannabe recording artists ang mag-oofer ng kanilang CD. HUWAG MONG HAHAWAKAN. Minsan pipirmahan pa nila na para bang SIKAT ba sila?

Oras na hinawakan mo na yan, pipilitin kang pagbayarin. Parang sa Divisoria, yong mga nagtitinda sa sidewalk na iduldol saiyo ang binebenta nila, patitingnan, oras na hinawakan mo sasabihin nila na binili mo na kaya kailangan bayaran, Hindi ko alam kung sino ang nanggaya.